Goodbye 2009

As this year comes to a close, one can't help but reminisce and look back at the past 365 days. This year was an incredible one for our household, filled with joy and laughter, tears and upset, but an overall sense of happiness and contentment.

Who would have thought a few years ago that this is how our life would be in 2009? Certainly not us. 2009 was a great year for our family as we finally added a daughter to our little family, and our lives took a turn for the better. Our marriage was strengthened even further, and our families all came closer together.

Not only did my immediate family grow, but my family of friends grew as well. Last year at this time I had a couple of good friends and two best friends. At the close of this year, I have four best friends and a bunch of good friends. Friends I know I can call and count on at a moment's notice. The beauty of that is I have the opportunity to be there for them on a moment's notice too.

This year I learned and grew a lot.

• I learned what it means to be a mother.
• I learned what it means to realize you don't always have the strength inside of you to conquer your battles by yourself. Sometimes you have to let others help you, and sometimes it is hard to see when that is necessary.
• I learned that letting others help you carry your burden makes it easier to carry. Sometimes we are too deep in our own muck to realize we need help.
• I experienced what a true best friend is like. The kind I always dreamed about, but never had until now.
• I learned that I cannot help those who do not want assistance, no matter how much it pains to me to sit on the sidelines and watch the people I care about battle their Goliath's alone.
• I learned what it really means to wish that time would slow down.

For the first time in a long time, I didn't go on a vacation this year, but I am okay with that. I didn't even notice until the end of the year when my paid time off was higher than I have ever seen it in my life. I really didn't mind when it came to being able to take the last two weeks off to spend with my daughter. That was more rejuvenating and fun than any vacation I've ever been on.

The absolute best part of this year was watching my daughter grow from a newborn to the cusp of toddlerhood. Watching her learn about and explore the world around her. Share in each and every one of her firsts. Feel my heart grow so much that at times it feels like it will burst from my chest just by looking at her.

I was very blessed in 2009. While it had is low moments, it also had its high moments, and they far outweighed the bad. If I could change only one thing, it would be the stupid traffic tickets, and that's it. :p

I hope and pray that 2010 is as blessed for our family as it was in 2009.

I wish you all the very best in 2010. I pray that it brings you all what your heart's desire.

First Christmas Recap

I am finally ready to present you with our Christmas recap!

Since we were unable to make it to Hubs' grandpa's for Thanksgiving, we decided to make the 9 hour trek for Christmas. His grandpa had been diagnosed with cancer earlier this year, so we wanted to make sure we spent what might be his last Christmas with him and all of Hubs' family. (We found out tonight that his chemo was successful and he has been declared cancer free!)

Because we weren't going to be here on Christmas day, I decided to give Baby Bean her rocking horse early. I knew we wouldn't be home until late the Sunday following Christmas, and I really wanted Hubs to carry her downstairs in the morning to see her horsey sitting under the tree with a bow around his neck, so she got her horse the Sunday before. Hence the early Christmas pictures.

Wednesday night at around 11:30 p.m. the car was loaded, the baby was asleep, and we were ready to go. Off we went on the arduous 9 hour drive. Hubs loaded up on Am.p and I stayed awake with him as long as I could. We rolled into town around 8:30 the next morning. Hubs' aunts and faux uncle were already there and waiting for us. We spent Christmas Eve with Baby Bean getting to know all of her daddy's family, hanging out, watching the baby, and eating goodies.

On Christmas morning we all got up and went to a nice breakfast. By the time we all got back home, Baby Bean was past her nap time and cranky, so I laid her down for a nap while the rest of us dug into our presents. Hubs' aunts and grandpa were very generous toward us this year and spoiled all of us immensely. But they really went all out for the baby. Of course, so did I. :D That afternoon we all enjoyed a wonderful Christmas dinner at the country club.


The kid got so many Christmas presents it was awesome. She doesn't quite know what to do with herself since we got home. She goes from new toy to new toy to new toy all day long. My favorites were the sock monkey she got from her grandpa and the Texas Te.ch horse from her aunts. She got scads of new clothes, which is awesome because now I don't need to buy her anymore for a while.


Christmas day with Hubs' family was more than I could ask for. I am glad that since we couldn't be with my family, at least we could be with his. We all had a great time, and Baby Bean was the center of attention the whole time. The child is so loved.

Saturday came too soon. Hubs' aunts and uncle went back home, and we were back in the car for a 6 hour drive for an overnight stop over to visit some of his friends. Can I just say that I don't mind traveling with a baby at all, but that I really hate how much is messes up her schedule? I don't mind all of the baby gear that fills up my car completely, or the extra time it takes to do everything. I just hate that her feeding and napping schedules go out the window.

Sunday afternoon we were back in the car for the last 4.5 hour leg of our trip home. Sunday night we happily and gratefully parked in our own driveway and unloaded the car. Next up was Part III of our Christmas. We hadn't taken very many of our presents to his grandpa's house, so we still had a ton left waiting for us at home. However, Baby Bean was DONE with all of the traveling and unwrapping of gifts. She pretty much cried through most of our present unwrapping and just wanted to go to bed.

The best Christmas present I had this year was the joy of finally being a mother and having a baby girl to adorn with gifts. At one point I thought to myself that this is what life is all about. Having and being a family. It was such a perfect holiday and we feel like such a perfect little family. I thank God every day for his blessings in my life.

Finally, because I know the grandparents, aunts, and uncles will love it, here is a little recap of our Christmas this year. Enjoy!

We're Home!

I just wanted to write up a quick post to let you all know that I have been gone since 11:00 p.m. Wednesday night with no access to the internet. However, while Hubs was snoring me out at 4:30 am in our hotel room last night, I decided to check up on blogs using my phone. For whatever reason, it is impossible to leave comments via my phone, so I was able to catch up with all of you, but not leave comments.

First of all... CONGRATS TO JOURNEY GIRL!!!!! JG just went to Thailand for a donor egg cycle that proved successful. If you want to congratulate her, which I highly recommend, please visit her blog here. Not being able to leave a comment on this blog all weekend was killing me! I was so stinking excited for her but couldn't tell her congrats. So here is a BIG shout out to Journey Girl, Journey Man, and Journey Dog!

I also want to congratulate Al, who also recently got (tentatively) pregnant after a long, tough road. She is still early in her pregnancy, so please go wish her some baby sticking wishes here.

I will update everyone on my Christmas vacation tomorrow. I need to get all of my ducks in a row first, but know that there is a little surprise coming. :) I will try to catch up on blogs tonight and then update mine later.

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas! We sure did!

Merry Christmas!

I hope you are all having a very merry and fantastic Christmas.

Here is a sneak peak at our early Christmas morning....




This horsey is animated. He moves his head up and down and his mouth from side to side. His tail also wags. Baby Bean helped pick it out a month or so ago, but hadn't seen it since we bought it. She loves his animations, but she does NOT like sitting on his back yet.

More Christmas pictures to come!

From our little household to yours, we wish you all a very merry Christmas. We hope your holidays are safe and filled with fun, love, and laughter.

Hanging On

I find that for the first time in years, I am really hanging on to the excitement of Christmas. I don't want it to end. I love all of the anticipation of the day, all of the buildup associated with it. But most of all, I love how people's hearts are softened, they are more kind and compassionate, and most of us strive to remember the reason for the holiday by being more giving to those in need.

While there is no snow in my yard, this year Christmas has felt like Christmas. I grew up in the Northwest where it was rare to not have a white Christmas. In fact, I talked to my mom this morning and she said they are all set for a white Christmas. It was snowing while we were on the phone. I laughed inside because it was so hot here today I had to turn on the AC.

I hope that all of you have a merry Christmas, and I pray that if you didn't get what you wanted this year, that God will see fit to deliver by next Christmas. I know that this holiday is hard for some of you because this is the first Christmas I finally have a child to spend it with. I know that the years we were undergoing infertility around the holidays it made them not seem special at all, and in fact, it made them a little hard to bear. I pray that for those of you longing to have a baby that you will have one or be in the family way this time next year.

Please be safe this Christmas if you are traveling or cooking dinner. :p

A very merry Christmas to everyone in blogland!

Marevlous Monday

Today was one of the best days ever! I slept in an extra hour and a half before getting my tired butt out of bed to go greet my grinning baby. As I put her on her changing table I told her, "Today is the first day of our stay-cation together! Its just you and me for the next two weeks." She smiled and clapped her hands.

After I got her fed and both of us ready for the day, we hopped in the car to begin the first of our two weeks. As we were pulling out of the driveway I declared, "Let the fun begin!" First we headed to Tar.get to return some jeans I had bought that both Hubs and I hated after I tried them on at home. It was then I realized I could do my grocery shopping there and not have to make a trip to the grocery store as well. We wandered around the store looking at everything, and trying to find mittens for Baby Bean. I guess retailers not only think babies don't need mittens, but they also don't need winter coats because there were none to be found any where we looked today. I did, however, buy her some of those baby shoes that are supposed to be hard to get off for babies, the Ro.bies knock offs. I also bought her a bunch of crunchies and YoBa.by yogurt.

We took our new loot home to drop off all of the cold items, and then headed back out. First up we went to her pediatrician to drop of paperwork that needs to be signed by her doctor for daycare. Then we went to Kh.ols to see if we could find some jeans that fit just right. I have been back into my prepregnancy clothes for some time, but only had one pair of jeans that fit. I had a baggy pair that were driving me insane to wear because they not only made me look fatter, but they wouldn't stay up, on top of them being too short. I found three new pair of jeans that I LOVE (they even have a hidden panel to hold back the post baby belly), a new hat, and two pair of fuzzy aloe socks. I literally danced every time I tried on a new pair of jeans that not only fit, but that looked fantastic. It made Baby Bean smile, clap, and dance too.

After that, we went and washed my car at a self-service car wash. It was 64 degrees here today people! I am from the Northwest where it was like 30 degrees today, so 64 means shorts and tanks to me. We then grabbed lunch and went home where Baby Bean snuggled in for a nap. After said nap, she ate lunch and I tucked her into her stroller, threw a leash on the dogs, and we went for a walk. It was a BEAUTIFUL day outside. It doesn't really snow here so it still smells like fall outside. The weirdest thing to me is the trees that are green all year round.

The rest of our day was spent just chilling at home. "I won't say she was cranky, but I think one of us was cranky, and it wasn't me." Either the poor thing is getting sick again (she's had a cough), or she's teething, or both. I think it is more due to the latter, as she gnawed the wrapping paper off one of the presents tonight.

I am really excited and looking forward to day 2 of our stay-cation. We're going to a Christmas party in the morning with my teammates, and then we're going to lunch with Daddy. We were going to go to a Christmas attraction, but I think we'll postpone that for Wednesday.

From warm, sunny, gorgeous Texas, this is Chelle, and I'm out.

P.S. Did you notice I am down to 1.5 months left until my IUD removal?!

Gingerbread Cookies

I am already seriously enjoying my Christmas sabbatical. Saturday morning we took Baby Bean to Ih.op. I figured since she was already being fed pancake breakfasts at daycare, we would order her her very own pancake. I also figured that since she enjoyed my homemade gingerbread cookies a few days before, she would like a gingerbread pancake.



Ha! The first few bites she took made her shudder. That didn't stop her from stuffing her little baby face and making a huge mess all over the high chair and floor though. Hubs and I totally enjoyed watching her eat her first very own dine-out meal.

I can't believe how fast the past 10.5 months have gone. Last year at this time I was heavily pregnant thinking about how Christmas would be this year, dreaming of what my child would look like and all of the fun things I would buy her.

At times I wish she was just a little older so I could do more with her, but the majority of the time I want everything to slow down. It is all going too fast. This past week the little bean has shown she is now able to stand on her own, completely unassisted. It is amazing to watch her learn and grow every day. I can't believe that in less than 11 month's time she has gone from a squalling infant to a near toddler. It makes me acutely aware of the fact that as she gets older, so do I. As a result, I am doing my best to enjoy each and every precious moment.

Two nights ago, Baby Bean sat in her high chair, watching me add the ingredients for gingerbread cookies into the mixer. She was "helping me make cookies." We had made a previous batch, but she ended up being in bed when the cookies were cut, baked, and frosted. Not this time. Tonight I pulled the dough out of the fridge, rolled it out, and asked Daddy to please come take some pictures of Mommy and Baby cutting out cookies.



If you told me when I was 13 that one day I would be cutting out cookies with my daughter, I might have believed you. If you told me 3 years ago I would, I would have called you a liar. I can't believe how far we have come. Everything we went through to get our daughter was more than worth it. Even just a moment as simple as this.



If I got nothing else for Christmas ever again, she would be present enough. I am so in love with my child I feel like I just can't contain it all within my heart.

I just wish time would slow down.

Baby Bean didn't get to help frost the cookies tonight for obvious reasons, but she sure did enjoy helping mom taste the fruit of our labors.



I plan on taking the majority of the cookies to the office this week to share with my coworkers. My team Christmas party is on Tuesday, to which Baby Bean is invited. After the party, we will head off to see a wonderful Christmas attraction near us. Oh yes, I will take pictures.

But tomorrow is a full-out girls' day. We're going shopping! Not Christmas shopping, but shopping for fun. When it isn't close to nap time, Baby Bean loves to shop with her mama. I love that I get to spend the next two weeks not worrying or thinking about anything else but being with my baby. That alone is all the Christmas present I need.

Almost There

My heart is racing as I look at the clock and shift nervously in my chair. Only two and a half more hours and I'm outta here for two weeks. Two glorious weeks with my beautiful baby girl. Her first Christmas, sleeping in, naps, cleaning the house, and best of all, going to great grandpa's for Christmas. What better way to spend Baby Bean's first? Sadly, it will probably be his last. At least we will all be together.

Another thing I'm looking forward to? Late night blogging. Updating, reading, and doing ICLW. I wasn't sure I was going to do ICLW this month, but I decided to at the last minute. Why not? I'll be around for part of it.

I got done everything I absolutely HAD to have done at work before taking my much needed vacation, and now my brain has shut down for the rest of the day. Work? What is that? All I want to do is go pick up my baby, head home to wait for Hub, and then spend a glorious evening in with my little family and pooches.

Only two and a half more hours...!

What a Wonderful Friday

Friday was seriously wonderful. The day started out great. Baby Bean made it to daycare and didn't pitch a fit when I dropped her off. (We found out Wednesday she has a double ear infection.) Her antibiotics and decongestants were working. The plan for work that day was to have our holiday lunch (in lieu of a big Christmas party to save money) and then let our coworkers know who we all had for Secret Santa. Yeah, it was pretty hard to buckle down and work.

At 11:00 it came time for the award part of the holiday party. I found my BF, A (who takes Baby Bean's pictures), and we went to the party together. They issued the annual awards for the top performers, and in between each category they gave out door prizes. The first set of prizes were $25 gift cards, free lunches with senior staff, and free vacation days. The second round offered $50 gift cards along with the lunches and vacation days. The third round offered the Big Daddy Prizes.

I am no longer allowed to think, "They won't call my name. I never win anything," which is exactly what I was thinking when they held up the Nik.on Co.olpix S320 camera.


The next thing I knew, my name was being called and all of my teammates and friends were cheering and clapping wildly. It took me a second to realize I was supposed to go up and claim the certificate for the camera.

The funny thing is I won $100 in gift cards at last year's Christmas party, and an iP.od at the one before that. So nope, no longer allowed to think I don't win, especially with the odds of wining at this company.

After lunch, the unveiling of the Secret Santas began. The woman who had me did an excellent job with all of her gifts during the week. Fuzzy purple socks and a bag of Re.eses Bells. My final present was a pair of pink pajamas with elephants on them for Baby Bean. They are so stinking adorable! I really felt like a winner.

But the biggest surprise was yet to come.

I got home from work that night and walked up to the front door. My arms were full of baby, a diaper bag, my purse, the mail, and gifts from work. There was a box sitting next to the front door. I figured it was for Hubs because he has been ordering all of my presents off the Internet. I went inside, set down the baby and everything else and went back out to get the box. I was surprised when I saw Baby Bean's name on it. I figured it was from one of the grandma's. I flipped the box over and saw it was from Heather, from Heather's Daily Life. The present had come all of the way from Australia from a very dear blogger friend just for my baby!

I couldn't wait to get it inside and open it. When I did I giggled with delight and squealed as I pulled out a stuffed wombat and then the cutest little outfit.



I was so excited and completely touched. My first instinct was to call Heather to thank her, and then I realized I couldn't. I thought I would just go see her and give her a hug then and tell her thank you in person, and then I realized I couldn't do that either. So I called my dad who had lived in Australia a long time ago and told him about it, then sat down and wrote Heather an email thanking her for her sweet gift. It was by far my most favorite part of the day.

Baby Bean loves the wombat, who is named "Russell." It says so on his tag. I can't wait until she is big enough to wear the outfit. I am definitely going to take pictures and post them on the blog when she is.

Heather, I know I've already thanked you twice, but thank you again from the bottom of my heart. You are so sweet and caring, and a very loving woman. I am so blessed to have you in my life. I hope you enjoy the Christmas card once it gets there. It pales in comparison to the sweet things you sent me. lol

Drowning!

In my job, my work comes and ebbs like the tide. From time to time I am bored out of my mind, usually I have just enough to keep me busy, but on occasion, I get more than I can handle. The latter is where I'm at right now. It makes me laugh because I am usually complaining that I don't have enough to do. I would like my work load to be just right. I hate being bored, but having more than I can handle is never a fun thing either.

At my last few monthly reviews I let my PM know I wanted more work. We sat in his office and talked about other areas within the company that my skills could be utilized, what other projects I could work on, etc.

Dammitall, I got my wish. I am up to my eyeballs in work right now. I have so much stuff due before the 15th of January I don't know how I am going to get it all done without working a few late nights here and there or bringing work home with me. I haven't missed a deadline yet and I'm not about to let that record slip. Deadlines are a big deal, and it doesn't go down well if one slips and its your fault.

On top of being overloaded at work, things are crazy at home. It is currently Hubs' turn to be sick. The man never throws up. Ever. He's like Se.infeld. Well, last night for the first time in years (like my strep record that was recently broken), he worshipped the porcelain throne all night. He was so sick he had to stay home from work today. I had to bring him home soda, chicken broth, and crackers just so he could get some nourishment in him.

Let us not forget, Baby Bean and I are still sick as well. We're both at the end of our current colds and are at the nasty "clearing out stage," but I know the next round is just around the corner.

What this is all leading me to is that my blog reading and commenting is going to drop off severely for the next two weeks. I love blogging. It is my obsession and everyone in my close personal life knows it. I feel like it is my patriotic duty to leave comments that brighten the blogger's day on every blog I follow every time it is updated. That is just not going to happen the next two weeks. Mostly because when I get some down time at work, I read blogs. Down time is a thing of the past until Christmas week when I'm taking two full weeks off.

So, if you notice and/or care, I apologize profusely that I will not be able to keep up with all of you (especially Heather who updates daily). I'll still check in when I can, but there is no way humanly possible for me to be the oober blogger I have been. Give me two weeks and I'll be back. But then two weeks later I'll be gone again. After that remains to be seen.

Know that I will miss you all very much and look forward to Friday the 18th when I will be back in full force.

Love and Hugs!

P.S. Thanks to JourneGirl and Cherish This Baby who awarded me with the Valued blogger award. You two cracked me up. I promise I will spread the love as soon as possible.

P.P.S. GOOD LUCK IN THAILAND JOURNEYGIRL!!! I will be thinking about you. :)

Valuable Two

So the last few days I was feeling kind of bad about not awarding more of my blog friends with the Valued Blogger award. I realized I am the architect of this award, and so can freely give it to more than just five people. I want the new recipients to know that they are not second best by any stretch of the imagination. There was a method behind the first five, which I choose not to divulge. Just know that I hold all of my blog friends as valuable as the other.



This award is not like all of the other blog awards because we all want to not only know about you, but your opinion of your fellow bloggers. So, without further ado, I present you with the rules.

1. Tell your readers how your journey into blogging began. Be as verbose or shy as you like.
   
2. Pick 3-5 fellow bloggers whom you adore and write what exactly it is you value about that person or their blog. The more you write about them the better. This is a chance to really appreciate your blog friends who have been there with and for you through thick and thin.
   
3. Let the blessed winners know they have been awarded.

That's it. Those are the rules. Now, before you think you can give the old line, "I don't want to pick anyone to pass this award onto because I don't want my readers to feel hurt if I don't pick them, so consider yourselves all tagged" I want you to realize that excuse tells all of your blog friends that you are wimping out, amongst other things. ;) Don't feel bad that you can't award everyone, the award will make its rounds and eventually everyone will get it. If you feel bad enough, you can always award more than 5 bloggers.

This award was started in December because it is the season of giving and bringing cheer to others. What better way to do that than to let the people in our lives know that we cherish them.

I won't wimp out of telling another reason I entered the blogosphere, since the first rule is to explain my induction into blogging. It actually all started out as a joke. A friend of mine had a sister who was an avid blogger. We thought she was silly and made fun of her. So what did we do? We started our own silly blogs. My first attempt was seriously as a joke. My second attempt was... well, it just was. It was during my second attempt that I realized my blog could be a powerful tool. Then I started my third blog, which is only kind of the one you see here. It started on a different url and was changed to this url earlier this year. I don't know if you would call this Blog #4, or if it is still Blog #3. Either way, I'm here and love it.

I now bestow this award upon (in no particular order):

1. Al, from Mission: Motherhood - I noticed that Al became a follower of my blog during an ICLW, but for some stupid reason, I couldn't link to her blog from my list of followers. It was during the next ICLW that I came across her blog. I was so excited and happy to find her. Al is new to the world of IF, unfortunately. I enjoy her and her blog because she is always so upbeat and positive. Let us not forget the "You know you're infertile when..." post that cracked me up. I look forward to supporting her on her journey to motherhood and hope that her roller coaster ride is short.
2. JourneyGirl, from Donor Eggs Journey - Where to start with JourneyGirl! This woman is amazing. I think I found her blog during an ICLW and was instantly drawn into her story. She is currently 4 days away from going to Thailand for a donor egg cycle. I embarked on her crazy ride when the ticker on her sidebar had well over 60 days left on it. In that time I have come to realize what a strong, wonderful, brave woman she is. I hope and pray that this is her cycle. I look forward to her blog post where she announces the trip was a success. I wish you all the very best JourneyGirl!
3. Tammy, from Tammy's Journey - If you all don't know Tammy, I'm amazed. What really amazes me about this sweetheart is that she has a massive following, yet rarely misses commenting on my blog. She started following me without my realizing it. Then one day I looked her up and once again, embarked on her adventure to motherhood. She is another woman whose strength astounds me. Her posts always make me laugh (except the ones that aren't funny, which are rare). She has the cutest sense of humor. I love it when she takes pictures of her husband and writes that as she took it he said something along the lines of, "You're not taking my picture are you?" And then she posts it on the blog. It cracks me up. Tammy is getting ready to go through embryo adoption. I pray that the current hurdles they are facing can be taken down as quickly as they were put up and they can get on with their cycle soon.
4. Sue, from Walking Towards Where I Want to be - Sue has had a crazy go at motherhood via the adoption process lately. Despite her setbacks, she continues to move forward with life. Her posts are always very genuine and enjoyable to read. I appreciate the pictures of her garden and her posts about how she is fairing with day-to-day life. I appreciate Sue and her strength. I look forward to the day that her dream of motherhood comes true.
5. Megs, from Along Life's Little Journey - I don't know about Megs, but I felt an instant connection with her the second she told me she taught marching band. Laugh all you want folks, band rules! Megs is an infertile survivor, currently pregnant with her first baby, a boy. There is just something so sweet about her blog that draws me in. What I know of her, she is an absolute doll. I am looking forward to the post that announces the arrival of her little man, but not too soon. ;)

Okay, that's 5 more. 10 is a good number, right? I think so. 1 out of 1 Maggie's agree that is a good number and that certain Chelles should take their cold medicine and snuggle into bed with a clean, fluffy Maglette.

So on that note, I'm off!

Sadie, You Ain't No Lady

Sadie is my third Border Collie. She my little Sudsie Sadsie, my Sudster, my Blu Dawg, my Party Dawg, my Bulky Baby, my Tank, and especially my Crazy Dawg. She, like most people/animals in my life, has a multitude of nicknames. I love this crazy little girl. She is so hyperactive, which used to drive me nuts, but now I love it. I love to get her all riled up to the point that she whimpers excitedly or barks or runs around crazily. She brings out the kid in me.

Not only that, but I love the way this pup snuggles. She sidles up next to you on the couch and lays her face and sometimes one or both front paws across your legs as she dozes off. You can then in turn wrap a leg or two around her. She doesn't care. She just loves to be snugged. She is definitely an avid dreamer dog, meaning she runs and barks in her sleep. It is freaking hilarious! I always have to try not to laugh too hard so I don't wake her up.

Lately this little gal has really been trying to push her limits. Here is a list of misdoings from this past week alone:

• After dinner one night I left my plate on the table and took Baby Bean to the store. Hubs was upstairs when he heard what sounded like silverware on a plate. He came down to find Sudster up on a chair cleaning off my plate. She has NEVER done this before.


• Thanksgiving day I tossed a can that had cream of chicken soup into the recycle bin. We found the can later that night in the family room. I wish I could say she has never rooted in the garbage, but that was the second offense of that nature.


• One night we decided to leave her out of her crate while we were gone to see if we could trust her to behave. When we got home we found she had climbed up on the kitchen counter to obtain an avocado that she promptly tore up all over our new white rug in the family room.


• Mags has a stuffed bear that Sades stole and tore open the leg. Since then I have been hiding the bear or putting in places she knows she's not supposed to go. Last night she went up into my bedroom, found the bear, took it downstairs leaking stuffing everywhere, and tore it up right behind my husband.

Hubs gets mad at me because most of the time I am so shocked by her behavior I laugh. He hates it that I don't discipline her better. I guess I don't get on her more because it is my fault she is acting up. I need to walk her and exercise her to get her energy out. I can't blame her for that.

After the bear incident last night I decided that instead of being locked up in her nice warm crate inside the house while we were at work today, she would be out in the backyard, no matter how cold it was. The dogs do have a heated dog house out there, but Sadie rarely uses it. I think Mags growls her out. This morning it was a lot colder than I anticipated, but Hubs talked me into leaving her out there so she could run off her energy, claiming that alone would keep her warm, so I did.

All I can say is that little girl is lucky I love her as much as I do. I can't imagine a world without my Sudsie Sadsie.

My Gift

All right dear friends, I have had this little beauty in my back pocket for quite some time now, just waiting for the perfect time to unveil it. During that time, I mulled over how it would all work. So here we have the birth of the Valued Blogger Award.



This award is not like all of the other blog awards because we all want to not only know about you, but your opinion of your fellow bloggers. So, without further ado, I present you with the rules.

1. Tell your readers how your journey into blogging began. Be as verbose or shy as you like.
2. Pick 3-5 fellow bloggers whom you adore and write what exactly it is you value about that person or their blog. The more you write about them the better. This is a chance to really appreciate your blog friends who have been there with and for you through thick and thin.
3. Let the blessed winners know they have been awarded.

That's it. Those are the rules. Now, before you think you can give the old line, "I don't want to pick anyone to pass this award onto because I don't want my readers to feel hurt if I don't pick them, so consider yourselves all tagged" I want you to realize that excuse tells all of your blog friends that you are wimping out, amongst other things. ;) Don't feel bad that you can't award everyone, the award will make its rounds and eventually everyone will get it. If you feel bad enough, you can always award more than 5 bloggers.

I decided to start this award in December because it is the season of giving and bringing cheer to others. What better way to do that than to let the people in our lives know that we cherish them.

So here goes my reason for blogging (for those of you who don't already know). I began my blogging journey the way most of us in this blogosphere do; it was my attempt to sort through my feelings and emotions brought on by infertility. I also saw it as a means to share my experiences in an attempt to help others who were fighting the same battle as me by either educating them or holding them up when they needed it. Little did I know how very much blogging would change my life. So many of you have come into my world and left a lasting impression on my heart. I am so thankful for all of you and hope that I am doing for you what you are doing for me.

I now bestow this award upon:

1. Leah, from Life According to Leah - I remember when Leah first came into my life disguised as Kat. She emailed me one day to ask about endometriosis. From that email stemmed a great friendship. I have been here for her since she underwent her first and second attempts at IVF and then as she bravely embarked on the adoption adventure. I even painted her a vase to raffle off on her blog to help her raise money for her adoption effort. She has shown time and again how very strong and loving she is. I have been proud to call her a friend since the first time she stopped by my blog. I wish Leah and Taher all the best in their quest for adoption.
2. Ifer, from The Mind of Ifer - When Ifer first came into my world, I thought her name related to infertility. For the longest time I had her name all wrong. Her name is actually Jennifer, but was shortened to Ifer by some of her good friends. I felt kind of stupid when I found out her screen name had nothing to do with infertility. Our friendship blossomed over some wonderful photographs she took with a newly acquired camera. We found out we had quite a bit in common from music to the state we live in. Her blog has been so much fun to read as she talks about the concerts she attends and the thoughts that go through her mind. I have thoroughly enjoyed my friendship with her.
3. Marla, from Marla'z Austin Journey - Ahhh Marla. This gal is a hoot! I liked her right off the bat simply because she is also a non-native Texan who moved to Austin and has a great personality to boot. I have enjoyed her explorations of crazy, zany Austin, as well as supporting her on her quest to motherhood through the exploration of Eastern medicine. Let us not forget project OCD in which Marla tries to turn the tables on a crazy coworker, provinding barrels of laughs for all of her readers. She also gave out some great recipes for Thanksgiving that I can't wait to try.
4. Heather, at Heather's Daily Life - Heather is as sweet and loving as her name. Her blog is so wonderful in that it chronicles her day-to-day life, right down to what she cooked for dinner. Often times the latter makes me salivate. If ever there was a giving individual, she is it. She sends post cards to people all over the world that she has never met, and is friends with all of her favorite bloggers on Faceb.book, myself included. I have personally received a lovely letter in the post from her. It made mine and Baby Bean's day. I enjoy following along on her daily journies to gym class, on hot air balloon rides, to dance class, and trips to the Big City. I also love reading about her niece, nephew, and adorable dog. Never a dull moment with her.
5. Cherish This Baby - This darling girl is one of my newest followers, but I feel like our blog friendship is cemented. We are both on the war path to TTC#2. She is a bit ahead of me, as she is actually currently in the saddle. Her entrance into my life was warm and friendly, not to mention welcomed with open arms. She is always sweet and leaves the warmest comments on my blog. She even took my advice on which types of OPKs she ought to try and I am happy to say, they have worked for her! I loved celebrating her latest positive OPK with her and look forward to celebrating her BFP in the near future.

There you have it friends, my five awardees. Please do not feel bad if I didn't tag you. I want to tag everyone, and perhaps I will over the next week just so that you all know that I find you valuable in the blogosphere. I just can't award everyone tonight because it is late, I'm on heavy cold meds, and it would take a looooong time to get to all of you. Know that every one of you is appreciated by me and I hold you all very dear.

*BIG hugs!*

Sleep is Goooood

Thank you everyone for your well wishes on Baby Bean's behalf. Can I just say Wednesday was by far my worst day as a mother? Not because I was fed up or hating it, but because it was killing to me see my child so sick and in such discomfort. It absolutely broke my heart.

I took this picture of her sleeping on my shoulder while we waited for her flu and CBC tests to be completed. I felt so bad for her. I was glad I had taken a blanket to wrap her in while she had to wait undressed to the diaper because the room was freezing.



The flu test came back negative and her CBC was normal. However, her ear infection wasn't clearing up even though she had been on antibiotics for days, so they treated her to a nasty double injection of antibiotics, one in each leg simultaneously. I felt HORRIBLE holding her hands as the two nurses rammed needles full of thick antibiotics into her legs. I held her tightly to me afterward and tried to soothe her screams. She calmed down pretty quickly and then went right back to sleep.

The fantastic news is the antibiotics did their job. Her ears and sinuses cleared up that night, and for the first time since she started daycare we both slept through the night. For once we weren't both up every two hours with me soothing her back to sleep. Happily, she has slept through every night since. She is doing much better and is back to her happy self. You'd never know she was sick last week.

On a separate note, when I was downloading the above picture from my phone, I came across these pictures from her birthday and had to share them.

I am so ready to do this again!

The Best Laid Plans

When I called my parents to let them know on Wednesday that my daughter's pediatrician declared her too ill to be around her ailing great grandpa for Thanksgiving, my dad's reply was, "The best laid plans.... Welcome to the world of parenthood." Not only did the doctor say we couldn't go, she said she we absolutely should not let Baby Bean around him because she could be he cause of doing him in. The poor little darling was soooo sick. The sickest she has been yet.

Remember how I said I had to go get her from daycare on Tuesday? Well, I wasted no time getting her a doctor appointment Wednesday morning. We were at the doctor for over an hour and a half while she was tested for the flu, given a major shot of antibiotics to both legs to hopefully speed the recovery of her ear infection, had a complete blood count drawn, and had to wait to ensure there was no allergic reaction to the antibiotics. Let me tell you, that was the hardest day of my parenting career so far. It was miserable for my child. She fell asleep in my arms many times only to be woken for shots or finger pricks. I couldn't wait to get her out of there. She was so sick and miserable she literally spent the rest of the day sleeping. It took moving a mountain to get her to wake up long enough to eat a bottle and then she was right back out.

I called my husband as soon as I found out we weren't going to his grandpa's, and then called my MIL to let her know. Here is the amazing thing, I didn't panic. I was now looking at Thanksgiving for 2.5 and had nothing for it at home, or so I thought. I asked my MIL to send me a recipe for one of Hub's all-time favorite dishes. She sent me two, one for spinach Madeline and one for chocolate pecan pie. So that night after the baby was in bed, I went to the grocery store to grab the necessary missing ingredients and a turkey breast.

If this was going to be our first Thanksgiving at home and alone, I was going to make it great dang it! I was amazed at just how many ingredients I already had on hand. Last night I stayed up to prep the spinach and pie, both of which turned out awesome! I didn't think to buy a pie crust at the store, but by some miracle had one pack of graham crackers at home, which turned into the most delicious crust.

I went all out. I made turkey, spinach Madeline, cheesy garlic potatoes with turkey gravy, stuffing, squash, rolls, and chocolate pecan pie. I have been so proud of myself all day, and I was literally beaming as the three of us sat down to our Thanksgiving feast. I have to say, I didn't use to like cooking, but now I LOVE it thanks to my fabulous husband who taught me how to cook and do it well.

Here is my first ever turkey. I was so stinking proud I wouldn't let Hubs cut it until I took a picture.


It was so beautiful and herb stuffed (thanks for the pointers Gord.on Rams.ey!). It was delicious. I did an awesome job.

Here is the fantastic spread I prepared (minus the chocolate pecan pie that was still chilling in the fridge [I also forgot to get a pic before eating {I KNOW!}]).


Please note the fine china. This was a very traditional gift from my parents on my wedding day. It is the first time it has seen the light of day since the contents were checked for breakage. I can't even tell you how gloaty I was to finally use it. Even Baby Bean got her own little plate.

I decided to let Baby Bean help herself to her dinner.

Here is Hubs helping her get a hold of her spoon.

He's helping her dish up some of the potatoes.

Here he assists her with bringing the full spoon to her mouth.

But she insisted on doing things her way...

holding the spoon with one hand while shoveling food into her mouth with the other.

She did make a few attempts to use her spoon though.

I think she was pretty pleased with the meal, as it was all over her smiling face.

When it came time to clean up, Sadie offered to help. Baby Bean didn't mind.

While the plans for the day were tossed out the window, I think it all turned out very well. Dinner was delicious and I loved being domestic. It was a very memorable Thanksgiving, and I enjoyed every second of it.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Today (and every day) I am thankful for a great many things, the obvious and the not-so-obvious:

• Wonderful, supportive, loving husband
• Beautiful, hard won daughter who is the joy of my life
• Fantastic, caring, understanding parents
• Supportive, affectionate, close siblings
• Two smart, snuggly, crazy Border Collies
• Four amazing best friends
• A whole slew of wonderful people I am proud to call friends, both IRL and in blogland
• A lovely house that I proudly call home
• An out of this world job doing what I love to do with some of the best coworkers I could ever hope for
• A reliable vehicle that has been with me for 7 years and I hope to have for several more yet
• All of my struggles that make me who I am; the ones that bump and bruise me to help polish me and make me stronger
• The way my daughter runs her fingers through my hair and then smiles at me
• Snuggling with my husband and dogs after the baby has been put to bed for the night
• Each new day that I am given to enjoy my life
• Bringing happiness and joy to others
• Providing love and support when I am able
• Loving and being loved
• The beauty of the city in which I live
• The sweet chirp of birds in the morning
• The soothing sound of crickets at night

I am thankful for my life and everything that is in it.

Daycare Blues

I warned Hubs before we even put Baby Bean in daycare that the first little while would be rough and that most of our money would go to pay to build up her immune system. I knew it would be the case, and sadly, I have yet to be wrong.

The first week Baby Bean was supposed to start daycare, I came down with strep (I haven't had strep since I was 12; so much for that record) Sunday before her first day and ended up staying home with her for four days of that week, so her first day ended up being on a Friday. One day wasn't a big deal, which is probably why I handled it so well when we dropped her off that morning.

The second week of daycare was going great. Then Wednesday morning, the same day I was supposed to appear in court for running a stop sign, I was woken by a neighbor feverishly ringing my door bell and beating down my door. I answered in my pjs (which I am sure showed the neighbor a side of me he never wanted to see [or maybe he did] because anyone who was that anxious to see me had to take me as I was. He apologized profusely and told me Hubs and the daycare had been trying to call me all morning because my daughter was running a fever of 103.6 and I needed to go get her. She sported a fever on and off for the next five days. Both of us were out of work and daycare for the remainder of the week. Money well spent on daycare there (yes, facitious).

Since Baby Bean got sick she has been sporting what I and her teachers thought was either a diaper rash or a yeast infection as well as some major congestion. On Sunday night of this week Hubs and I noticed that Baby Bean was refusing to crawl. She'd get up on her knees and then start to cry, sit on her bum, and try to scoot to wherever she needed to go. When I looked at her knees I could tell something was up. On Monday morning I called her doctor and got her in. It was there we discovered there was a rash all over her lower body and that the majority of it centered on her knee joints. In addition to the rash, she had a major ear infection. She was at daycare for all of 2.5 hours that morning. However, the doctor gave her a note to return to school, stating she wasn't contagious and to authorize the dispensation of motr.in.

This afternoon I went to visit and feed her at lunch, as I have done every day since I returned to work after my maternity leave was over. She seemed a little sluggish, but I figured it was just the antibiotics doing their thing. At 2:45 I got a phone call from her teacher saying she was sporting a fever of 102.9 again. I immediately called her pediatrician and asked the nurse if I needed to go get my daughter from school, despite the note from Monday. She recommended I go, as did my project manager. So this week we have spent a total of 9 hours at work and daycare. Money well spent again. Hubs was ticked, but I warned him this would happen. Its part of the package.

Sadly, this month I have only worked one full week. Even the short week got cut really short, as Baby Bean is not allowed to return to daycare tomorrow due to her fever. It was still over 101 tonight before her bath and after a dose of ty.lenol and motr.in. I'm telling you again, if you haven't checked it out already, this No.se Fri.da is a lifesaver. I don't know how I would have sufficiently aspirated my child had I not had that fabulous device. It has earned its weight in gold and then some these past few weeks.

My poor little bean is now on antibiotics, tyle.nol, and motr.in. She hasn't slept through a night (neither have I) since she started daycare. I feel so bad for her, but at the same time, I am grateful for the time I have had to spend with her. I just wish it didn't mean she had to be miserable.

I've Done It!

Okay, so you see that little ticker on my sidebar that is counting down the days until my IUD removal? Well, that date was originally approximated. That is, until yesterday. I called and scheduled the appointment for my ultrasound to check on how my uterine rupture is healing, and if everything looks good, the IUD will come out that day.

Can I just say I am so nervous and excited all at the same time?!

The last time we looked at the scar tissue from the rupture, everything looked great and my doctor was pleased with its progress. I was supposed to go back in last month to have it checked again, but I opted not to just because it looked so good at the previous scan, and I feel good about things, so I didn't feel it was necessary. My doctor's office even sent me a letter to remind me I was supposed to make an appointment for last month and missed it, which I thought was cool.

Hubs and I are seriously chomping at the bit to get back in the TTC saddle (yes, both of us). I think I am so excited about the prospect that any fears I had last month have been pushed to the far reaches of my mind. I really feel good about things. I am just so ready to bring another baby into our home. I also feel like the next one will be a boy, I really do. Every time I talk to Baby Bean about her siblings I tell her she will have a brother and then another sister. If Hubs had his way, we'd have five boys and then maybe another girl. I wish we could have seven more.

They are building a brand new hospital about a mile from my house and it is supposed to be finished next fall. Every time we drive by, I tell Baby Bean that is where her brother will be born. When we walk past the maternity clothes in the store, I tell her, "Mom will buy those when she is pregnant with your brother." When I put away her baby clothes that no longer fit, I tell her that we won't need them for her brother, but we will for her sister, who will come after her brother. It is already second nature, she will have a brother next.

I honestly feel like we have two more children in our cards. I feel like it will be a boy and then a girl. I knew Baby Bean would be a girl before Hubs and I were even married. I realize it is a 50/50 chance, but I just felt it, and I was right. My intuition is not usually very far off.

So, less than two months until I buy the massive pack of OPKs and a few pregnancy tests, am back in the world of charting, checking all of the fun things that entails, adding a ticker to my sidebar, and officially back on the TTC horse. I can't wait!

All Set!

This past week I have gotten the Christmas bug, or rather the past two weeks. I just had so many other things going on I wasn't able to get around to decorating the house until this week.

Last Christmas Hubs and waited until after the Holidays to buy a new, large Christmas tree. We didn't see any reason to get one last year, as it was just the two of us, and we needed the money to prepare for the baby. One night we remembered our realtor had given us a gift card to Ho.me Dep.ot when we closed on our house and needed to use it. We ended up buying a $300 Christmas tree for $75 because it was the floor display.

Since last year, I have been looking forward to this Christmas, mostly because it would be my first Christmas as a mother. I remember surviving the holidays when we were doing infertility treatments. I tried to enjoy them, but it was just so hard because I didn't know if I would ever have a child with which to adorn gifts. Last Christmas was our first holiday with just the two of us and no family. Once again, we were lonely, but at least we were finally pregnant. I held my chin up and struggled through yet another Christmas day alone, but in a new way.

Because of the past few years, I couldn't wait to break out the decorations. I spent this whole weekend getting them set up around the house, and was really excited to get out our new tree. Santa brought me an early present this year.


Baby Bean loved the tree and the lights. She has been crawling around under it and grabbing the branches and lights since I started setting it up earlier this week.



I remember last year thinking I just couldn't wait to buy the perfect "Baby's First Christmas" ornament. It was so hard to not buy one for last year because I was technically with child, but I refrained. This weekend, I came across what I was looking for and fell in love with it instantly.


They are ceramic baby booties that say, "Baby's 1st" and "2009." I have finally been blessed with a child for whom to buy this keepsake.

On top of all of the decorating, I am pleased to say my Christmas shopping is done! Hoorah! I pretty much refuse to shop after Thanksgiving, and I like to have it done and out of the way before TG so that I don't have to worry about it or brave the crazy crowds. Yesterday I went out with one of my best friends, and together we tackled and conquered my list.

Now I can sit back, relax, and prepare to share this very special holiday with my first baby.

Its That Time of the Month

And no, I'm not talking about the one in which my monthly visitor makes her nasty appearance, although if you ask my husband, it might as well be.

Welcome ICLW!

I have to say, Hubs really does hate this time of month. He likes to remind me that since we got married, he has been asking me to write a manual for a product he developed, but I have yet to finish it. So every time ICLW rolls around, he gets grumpy that I blog for a whole week and don't write. I just bat my eye lashes and tell him I need my bloggy therapy. :D

For those of you new or visiting the blog, you can find my back story here. Long story short, after two years of infertility treatments and one extensive surgery (confirming moderate endo, PCOS, and a uterine septum), Hubs and I were eventually able to conceive on our own. We want to have more children, but now have new complications and have been forced to take a year of TTC while my body heals. We're already chomping at the bit to be back in the TTC saddle, but as you can see by the ticker in my sidebar, our year isn't quite up. We're almost there though! Now we're just praying that we don't have to go through IF hell again once we are given the green light.

I look forward to meeting new bloggers, hopefully making some good friends, and finding some new blogs to follow.

Welcome to my blog and our story.

Nearly Wordless Wednesday

While the post is supposed to be "Wordless Wednesday," I just couldn't help but say that when I pulled these pictures off the camera, they absolutely made my heart swell. I am so deeply in love with this child! I couldn't stop smiling as I looked at that sweet little face. I thank God for her every day. Thank Him so much for the wonderful, incredible gift that he has given me. She is by far the best thing her daddy ever gave me too. I love this little girl more than the air I breathe.

PHEW!

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, homes in Texas for some reason have ZERO storage space. At least where I am located. I am not the only person with this complaint around here. Storage is at a serious commodity. The closets in my house are pretty much worthless. You shove a roll of toilet paper in there and the thing is full. The one exception is the closet in the master bedroom, which for some reason is probably half the size of the smaller bedrooms in our house. As a result, almost everything that needs to be stored in this house got shoved in there. Want to see the horror? Here you go.



Yes friends, that closet is stacked from side to side, floor to ceiling.

Can I just say it was driving me INSANE?!?! On top of which, I need that space. So a couple of weeks ago, I did the unthinkable... I started to clean the stupid thing out to determine what could go into the attic, unprotected from the temperature and humidity fluctuations, such as books or old papers, and what needed to be protected, such as clothes.


I then bought stock in these babies. Because in addition to my closet being full, Baby Bean's was overflowing as well with her old clothes and blankets that wouldn't fit in mine. I think I spent about $100+ on SBs. I was serious!

Then began the cleaning. Oh the cleaning!


This pile doesn't look big in the picture, but let me tell you, it took up an entire large block SB. It was all of my maternity clothes. I certainly won't need them for a bit and they were taking up way too much precious space.

This pile was jaw dropping. Those are all of the blankets and pillows I pulled out of there. This isn't even including the boxes of books and files. It was one of those projects that when you're half way into it, you wonder why the hell you got yourself into it.

I did the majority of the cleaning in one weekend. Then over the next few weeks, I gathered everything in our front room that I wanted put up in one of our underutilized attics. Today I got sick of it all. I was tired of the boxes sitting in my front room waiting to be put in their new home, and I was tired of the fact that I still had some closet left to clean out yet. Without even meaning to, I finished the thing off today.

Here is the finished project.

Can you believe it used to look like this?!


Hubs and I couldn't believe I actually created some of this:


Do you see that lovely carpet?!

As for the goods, this is an example of what happened to them during the process.

Before

During

After

And finally, in their new home!


Oh yes, folks, I breathed a HUGE sigh of relief. I can't tell you how many times today I have walked into the closet just to believe my eyes. Or how many times I climbed up the attic ladder just to see how cool it was I was using that space.

Then guess what I did next? I cleaned out Baby Bean's closet! Not only did I clean it, I organized it, and then I cleaned and organized her room and her changing table. I feel so proud of myself. :D

Up next, Christmas decorating!

Sickness Abounds

Poor little Baby Bean is still sick today. I thought we were winning the fight against her fever, but it became very clear tonight at bedtime that I was sorely losing.

I took her to the doctor yesterday afternoon where she tested negative for strep and flu. Her temp there was 101.9. The only deduction was a virus or a UTI. The doctor left it up to me if I wanted her tested for a UTI. After he told me about the procedure, I hugged her tightly to me and said we would wait another day. He told me if her temp went above 102, that the next step would be to test, and told me to monitor her closely. I did, and her fever went down. I thought it had broken and would be gone by this morning. She was still a little warm after I got her up for the day, but I could tell she felt like hell. She could barely keep her eyes open, she didn't want to be put down to save her life, and all she could do was moan and sob softly.

It absolutely broke my heart!!!

After her motr.in kicked in she was back to her usual self. I monitored her closely all day and she seemed to feel fine. That is, until tonight. She started to heat up again to the point where she was making me sweat to hold her. When I took her temp, it was 102.9. I called my brother-in-law who is a doctor and asked for advice. He told me if her fever doesn't break overnight, to take her back to the doctor tomorrow. Right now we're having a hard time getting her to stay asleep, so she is snuggled up with daddy. I just aspirated her, and it wasn't pretty. The poor little girl.

The even worse news for me is that I was off work for four days last week while I sported a nasty cold. I am pretty sure I tested positive for strep because the doctor's office said they would only call me if the results were positive. I missed their call and didn't bother calling back. I already knew. But now I will miss three days of work this week as well. I am a little bit afraid of the potential backlash that might cause. I called my project manager tonight and let him know what was going on. It was really hard to tell by his intonation if he was upset or not. He's got kids, so he knows how it is, but I am sure he is not at all pleased with the amount of work I have missed in the last two weeks. Please don't fire me! I used vacation time for my three days this week, but it still doesn't look good. I know people say to stay home when you're sick and I know no one at work wanted me there last week, but I'm still a little nervous.

Hubs told me to call tomorrow and see if I can snag a laptop to work from home, or maybe make a deal with my PM during these first few months of daycare when Baby Bean is bound to spend more time at home than at daycare while we pay a hefty price to slowly build her immune system. Luckily, my PM knows all about this quandary first hand too.

Right now I will just focus on getting my little doll better.

P.S. If you have kids and haven't heard of the Nose Frida, I highly recommend it. It works a million times better than a bulb syringe. A coworker of mine recommended it, and I am so glad he did. I am totally going to buy him lunch for that tip. This thing is a God send right now.

Thank You Birdman

Oh yes, friends, You have seen this picture a million times on my blog, and you will probably see it a million more times while I maintain this blog, so here it is again:


Today is Veteran's Day, and I would like to thank my own veteran, my little brother. Who, ironically enough, is on his way home from serving in the Republic of Georgia for the last few weeks.

This handsome chap has been in the military since he was 16 years old. He joined the ranks when he was just in high school and went off to basic training the summer between his junior and senior years of high school. He is a field medic who proudly served in Iraq in 2005-2007. He has gone on many missions around the globe, and has barely been home this year because he has been off serving his God and country. He has seen things that I cannot fathom, and has stories he will not share. He has gone to far away lands, and defended my right, my family's right, and your right to be fee.

So today, I would like to say thank you Birdman, for all that you do, for your selfless giving, and for so willingly doing your patriotic duty.

I love you with all of my heart. You are my favorite gift from mom and dad, and always will be.

I Fought the Law and I Won!

Back in June I got a ticket for speeding in an inactive school zone. Of course I was mighty miffed, but I decided to pay the ticket and opt for deferred disposition, which meant if I didn't get another ticket for 90 days, my violation would be dismissed. I didn't think I earned the ticket, as the school zone lights weren't flashing and it was the last day of school. However, my ticket was arguable because the school zone times are posted on the sign. I figured since I had only gotten one other ticket in my life (which I gladly paid because I knew I was speeding that time), so going 90 days ticket free would be no problem.

Two months later, I got pulled over again. This time for supposedly running a stop sign. This time I was angry. I didn't run a stop sign. I made a full and complete stop, and there were other cars at the intersection when I approached it, making running the sign very unwise. The (female) cop gave me a ticket anyway. As soon as I got to work, I called a lawyer.

My court date came and went twice because my attorney couldn't make it the first time, and then referred me to new representation in my area the day before my second court date, which got it postponed the second time. In speaking with the new attorney, I was told that the police in my area are notorious for giving out tickets for trumped up violations. On top of that, the judges in my city were as hard nosed as their cops, and usually sided with them. I was told flat out I would not get out of the ticket, even though I had done nothing wrong, but that the attorney would try to at least get me another differed. I was angry all over again. I didn't see how it was fair I should have to pay for something I didn't do. Especially when I sorely needed that money elsewhere. On top of which, I have now taken three days off work for court dates.

Shortly after I got my second ticket, I received a summons to a show cause hearing, informing me I had violated my deferred disposition and was now going to have to go to court to plead my case as to why my first ticket should not go on my record. Needless to say, I went through the roof. My husband told me he thought it unwise for me to represent myself at the show cause hearing, so I called the attorney again. His fee was $250. He then told me that I would probably be able to represent myself just as well as he could, so I should save my money and do it on my own. I asked how I was supposed to keep from getting tickets when I wasn't doing anything wrong in the first place. He told me to move. I asked if there was anything I could do. He told me I could call the city and complain, but that the police would target me if I did. Yes, he told me THEY WOULD TARGET ME!

I seethed with anger yet again. I was between giving up and going on a rampage, leaning more toward giving up. What else could I do?

This morning was my show cause hearing. I got a call from my daughter's day care just hours before my hearing, saying she was running a fever of 103.6 and that I needed to come get her. I rushed over and picked her up. She was going to have to go to court with me. We showed up to the court house, and I waited my turn as I held my daughter, burning up with a fever. She was so hot it was making me sweat. She began to get a little cranky in the court room, so the bailiff told me to wait in the hall and they would call me when it was my turn. They called me back in, and I was able to get my daughter to sleep just before it was my turn.

I walked up to the judge, sweating from holding my child, and a little shaky because my arms were getting fatigued. The judge asked what I was doing regarding my stop sign violation. I told her my attorney was going to represent me this afternoon. She then told me that she would let him sort out the details for that ticket, and that she was dismissing my deferred violation.

I couldn't believe it! I was shocked. I had my whole song and dance prepared, and I didn't even need to perform. I thanked her and went to the clerks office, relieved and still sweating. I fought the law and I won! Now I just need to wait and see what happens with the hearing this afternoon.

As for Baby Bean, she is peacefully sleeping in her swing. I have given her some tyl.enol, and she has a doctor appointment this afternoon. Hopefully it is nothing serious and she will be back on her feet in no time.

I am Kreativ

I am really late in posting this. I kept forgetting about it, until now. The wonderful Marla at Marla'z Austin Journey sweetly awarded me with the Kreative Blogger award. Thank you Marla!






Here are The Rules:
1. Thank the person who nominated you for this award.
2. Copy the logo and place it on your blog.
3. Link to the person who nominated you for this award.
4. Write 7 things about yourself that people may not know.
5. Nominate 7 Kreativ Bloggers.
6. Post links to the 7 blogs you nominate.
7. Leave a comment on each of the blogs, letting them know they’ve been nominated.

My 7 Things

1. While my IUD was imposed upon me by medical necessity, I love the thing. I haven't seen AF in over three months now. Should you ever need to be on BC, I highly recommend the IUD.
2. I came across some old stories I wrote in high school for a creative writing class while cleaning out my closet. I always thought I was a good writer. After reading over those little ditties, I'm not so sure anymore. One of my papers was given a 75/75. It makes me wonder if the bar was really set that low in my high school. The story itself wasn't bad, but the grammar... oh the grammar!
3. While riffling through that same box of documents, I came across an email to my parents that I wrote during my sophomore year of college in which I blew off steam over the fact that I didn't get as big of a scholarship to my next school of choice as I would have liked. It made me laugh because I seem to remember having a pretty decent scholarship to that university. In fact, they gave me an extra $500 at the end of the year because they had left over scholarship money. I used it to buy a car alarm.
4. While being nostalgic about the documents I found, I smiled to myself because I have a way of blocking out unpleasant things from my past. If I didn't enjoy the ride, I forgot about it. I actually don't remember very much about my time at that university. Why? Because I was miserable there. I loathed every minute, but viewed it as a necessary evil for my future success. I have friends from that school who ask if I remember doing this, that, or the other with them. I always stare blankly with a slight smile and say, "No." Jen, if you read this, I DO remember the popcorn now!
5. I am definitely my worst critic when it comes to my writing. It is never good enough and never will be. Most everything I write reads like shite to me. Yet, it is what I get paid to do. My husband always tells me that I must be good at it because I get paid pretty well to do it. On top of which, all of the project managers at all of my jobs never have anything but glowing reviews of my work. I always feel like I have somehow pulled the wool over people's eyes and one day I will be found out.
6. I didn't realize I was a positive person until I started infertility treatments. I guess positive people block out negative memories too. That isn't to say I don't have moments where I feel like the sky is falling. I just recover from it quickly and find the positives, the lessons.
7. I am very tired because it is almost 1:00 in the morning, and I sat up trying to catch up on blogs and writing this post.

Now, to tag 7 folks. I'm just going to tag because it is late. If you have already received this award, I apologize. Feel free to do it again, pass it on, or ignore it.

1. Tammy
2. ~Ifer
3. Heather
4. Cherish This Baby
5. Justine
6. Sarah
7. Leah

Her First Day

Last week went by in a blur. Of course it is because I was home enjoying being sick because it meant I could be with my baby. Before I knew it, it was Friday. Time for me to go back to work, and for Baby Bean to go to her first day of daycare. I am still not sure how or why I handled it the way I did, but it didn't go down the way I imagined it would at all. Before she was even born I would sob at the idea of her going to daycare. I cried more on the day my husband got a job than on her first day. In fact, I didn't shed one single tear that morning.

I woke up Friday morning at my normally scheduled time from before daylight savings (it used to be 7:15, but now it is 6:15), got ready for work, then went in and got Baby Bean up for the day. She was already awake and standing up in her crib when I walked in, which I was glad for. I got her dressed, fed her, made sure we had everything we needed for the daycare center, and out the door we headed.

Hubs went with us to get Baby Bean situated, and I am sure as a support to me. Surprising, I didn't need the latter. We took her to her classroom, filled out the daily paperwork, got her settled, and then it was time to go. I gave her a big kiss and told her I would see her later. I told her to be a good girl. She gave me a big smile and then crawled away to play with some toys. Hubs and I didn't even need to sneak out of the room because she didn't notice we had left.

I didn't feel anything that morning. I didn't feel sad. It wasn't hard. My heart didn't break. I felt fine. I was amazingly at ease with the whole thing. I didn't worry about her during the day, or feel the need to call and check in.

Lunch time rolled around and my teammates were getting ready to go to our usual Friday team lunch. The place they all wanted to go didn't appeal to me, and one of my teammates protested my going because he was afraid I would get him sick. It made me smile when one of our other teammates told me to come anyway immediately after that comment, as if to say, "We'd rather have you than him!" It was very sweet. I told them to go ahead and I would go have lunch with my daughter.

When I got to the daycare, my Baby Bean was sitting in a high chair eating pineapple. She had green peas squashed all over her whole face. From chin to forehead and from ear to ear. I hoped that she would give me the same big smile she usually gives me when I get home from work. Instead she just looked at me like, "Oh, hey mom," and kept right on eating her pineapple.

While I fed her, the teachers all gloated over what a good girl she was and how well she was getting on with the whole situation and other kids. They were amazed she had never been to daycare before because she just took it all in stride. She did skip her morning nap, and she let me know all about it.

Hubs and I were a little upset to find out how much they had let her eat during the day. They overfed her with snacks and at lunch time. We're going to address that on Monday. She came home smelling of daycare, and was a little cranky because she had hardly slept. The child usually sleeps anywhere from 1-2 hours during two separate nap times during the day (up to 4 hours total). She slept for an hour at daycare all day.

All in all, I think it was a great experience for her. I think she will adjust well to being there every day. I am still amazed at how well I am handling it. It just isn't as big of a deal as I thought it would be.

With My Eyes Open

Have you ever been sitting at your blog, wanting to post, but now knowing what to post? So many ideas going through your head. Which should you pick? Should you pick them all and do them in bullet point? Save them out and do them separately over time while risking losing the thought of them as the hours and days pass by? What about the post you want to write up, but aren't sure whose eyes will see it and what meaning they will take away from it? Will they take the one you intend, or the one they want to?

The last four days have been so very bitter sweet. Bitter because I was sick, but sweet because I got to spend them with my daughter. Bitter because I didn't have a car with which to take either of us to the doctor before Hubs got home or to go to the store to buy necessary cold meds, but sweet because I didn't have a car, and so couldn't go anywhere or do anything but be with my darling baby girl. I have to say, I am so thankful I got sick. Yes, it sucked. Yes, it was brutal. But oh my gosh have I enjoyed being home with Baby Bean. The thought of going back to work tomorrow while she goes to her first day of daycare breaks my heart.

That last line was the one that could be taken wrong. I love my job. I really do. I work for a great company, and I have some of the awesomest teammates/friends I have ever had the pleasure of working with/knowing. I received numerous text messages from my teammates the last few days asking how I was doing and if I needed anything. My PM even told me that if I needed people to shuttle me fluids, they would (because I didn't have a car). I am so very blessed to work for this company. It was by far one of the best decisions of my life, and I am so grateful we are here. Getting this job was a pivotal turning point in my life. I love these people, and I love my job. I want to go back to work, I just wish my daughter could come with me.

I know daycare will be a wonderful thing for Baby Bean. She loves other kids. She is going to get exposure to all kinds of things she wouldn't at home (and I'm not just talking about germs). They are going to teach her sign language, take the messy job of teaching her how to eat with utensils, and the list goes on and on.

However, I feel like in a perfect world, I would be an at-home mom. *GASP!* I know, I just said that. The woman who has always said that I could never be an at-home mom. I'd be bored. I need social interaction. Blah, blah, blah. I still think being an at-home mom could wear on me after a while. I did work hard to get where I am. I do need social interaction and all of those other things. So ideally, I would work part time, and be home part time.

I found over the past four days that I just love being with my daughter. I know some people hate when infertiles say this, but I honest to God know I am a better mother because of the battle I had to fight to get her here. I don't take her for granted for one second, and haven't since I found out I was pregnant with her. Do I think that there are women out there who got pregnant on their own who feel the same way? Absolutely. I just know that I am a better mother than I would have been. That's not to say I wouldn't have been a good mom, because I would have. I just know that I have way more patience, a higher level of tolerance, and a love that is incomprehensible.

The past four days have been fantastic. I am so grateful I got sick. (Baby Bean did too, but I was exponentially sicker than her. Both her pediatrician and my doctor said that is common. She exhibited hardly any signs of illness. I, on the other hand, sounded like death warmed over.) Maybe one day, my ideal will become the real.