A Little Fun

Tonight I figured out how to create slide shows using Windows Movie Maker. It only took me about 3 hours, but I finally got a little slide show of my U.K. trip last year set up just right. I even got it set to the song, "A Tune for Jack," by Lemon Jelly, which is the song that epitomizes the trip for me. We took a day tour of the whole of Scotland, and our bus driver played his Lemon Jelly CD as we headed back into Edinburgh. I will always remember how relaxed I felt while I listened to this song as I watched the emerald green Scottish countryside go by with my head nestled on Adam's shoulder. Whenever I need to relax and take a break from my hectic day, I listen to this song and take in that memory.


Now I can share my idea of real relaxation with all of my blog friends instead of just telling you about it. :) Take a few minutes out of your busy day and relax, take a deep breath, and watch this oh so soothing slide show.

I am REALLY going to enjoy this at work.

Dr. Appointment

After getting my hands on the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" and reading it in less than five days, I made a list of questions that I took to my doctor yesterday. I can honestly say my appointment went better than I thought it would, and I left not only feeling 100% confident in my doctor's ability, but also about moving forward. He basically told me that I had not yet given my body a chance to do its thing since my surgery and that I really needed to relax and not think about silly things like charting body temps, checking bodily fluids, and OPKs. His recommendation was that I take the next three months off of ANY type of thinking about babies, and that if I didn't get pregnant before my next appointment in April, then I could worry about things in April. The only thing he told me to do in that time was to make sure I was doing the baby dance every other day starting on day 10 of my cycle and continuing through to day 20, and that the only information he wanted from me IF I needed to come back in April was which days AF showed up, if she showed up.

I can't even begin to explain the euphoria and confidence I felt when I left his office yesterday. He addressed each and every one of my questions with not only his answer, but why he answered the way he did. He didn't make me feel rushed and like my concerns weren't legitimate. He really helped put my poor mind at ease, and even recommended a trip to Hawaii. I laughed and told him we were actually trying to go on a beach vacation. lol

To top off an excellent appointment, the sun was shining and the sky was clear blue when I left. (Of course, our daily snow storm still rolled in by 5:00, just in time for my commute home. LOL! [Yes, my little car slid all over the dang place.])

So my assignment for the next few months is to just really, honest to God take a break from worrying about getting pregnant. To assist myself with this assignment, I have purchased CDs for meditation, which I started last night, and learning to control your anxiety, which I will start today. I am still waiting for AF to rear her ugly head this month, so it IS possible there is already a little bun in the oven, but my hopes aren't high. I think I stressed myself out way too much this past month.

The good thing is that if I find out that I am not pregnant, I am okay with it. I might need my moment when the shoe first drops, but I don't think I will be distraught just because if I am pregnant it either means no Scotland trip for me, or the trip has to be moved up to earlier in the year, which could mean my little brother wouldn't get to go with us, and I can't do that to him.

Here's to relaxing! And the sun is even out again today! :D

A Little Reflection

The past week and all of its stress have caused me to do a little reflection in the last 36 hours. I came to the realization that I was spending way too much time stressing about ovulation, and that doing so would only prevent it, not help it along. I also determined that I was way too wrapped up in my own little set of problems, to the extent that I couldn't concentrate on my sweetie, my pooch, or even my work. I have been constantly on edge and ready to cry on a moment's notice. I have completely neglected everything in my life the last few days to focus all of my energy on thinking about and stressing over ovulation. On top of that, I noticed that it nearly halted all other brain function. This was proven when I hosted a meeting with the president of my company and could not coherently speak to save my life. I'm sure he's wondering now why he hired such a blithering idiot to write useful documentation.

There is also nothing better to bring about this realization than a little piece of humble pie. In reading the blogs of my new friends, I realize that while I have been through a lot, I have been through nothing, comparatively.

I have decided that I am done focusing on myself and my ability to reproduce. I can sit here 24 hours a day thinking about all of the "What Ifs" (as proven by the past week), or I can live my life. There is so much more to life than dreading OPKs and potential doctor office visits. There is no sense in worrying about bridges that I might never need to cross. I need to live in the here and now, not what I am going to do if this doesn't work, and what I'll do if that doesn't work either. I am going to stick to the promise I made myself before my surgery, and that is that I would give myself six months, stress-free, to let my body figure out how to adjust to the post-surgery changes and give it a chance to get pregnant on its own, without the help of treatments.

In the meantime, I plan to play this weekend like I don't have a care in the world.

This is a picture of the most relaxing the place in the world that I can think of, and do think of when I need a break from my own thoughts. This is a picture of Kilmahog, Scotland. I usually think of the Scottish countryside while listening to "A Tune About Jack" by Lemon Jelly and just feel my stress melt away. I first heard the song while on a trip around Scotland last year, and will forever remember that moment as one of the most relaxing moments in my whole life.

The last few days have been really wonderful. I took off early from work on Friday after only being in for a couple of hours. I had a wonderfully long, extended weekend, but it flew by so fast it really didn't feel like a 4+ day weekend. After I left here on Friday I went home, snuggled with my pup on the couch while my husband worked, and took a nap in front of the TV. I took it completely easy the whole rest of the day. I had finished all of the work that needed to be done for both of my jobs, and had postponed the third project until after the holidays.

To reward myself for all of my hard work, my husband and I went couch shopping. I've determined I spend too much time on that couch to not be comfortable. It is where I take naps, watch TV, snuggle with Hubs to watch movies, work from home, etc. Basically its the only place in the house I ever really sit to do anything. We found a couch that we were absolutely in love with. It was the most comfortable couch I have ever sat on. The price tag was a few hundred more than I wanted to spend, but after sitting on at least 100 couches, I didn't care how much the one I loved cost. However, it didn't come in the right color, and Hubs wouldn't let me buy it for that reason alone. I was so bummed! We did find a couch that was somewhat comfortable and met all of my other crieteria (such as cushions I could flip over when they started to wear) and that was right in the price range I had pre-determined. We decided to go home and think about it before making the purchase.

The next morning my little brother came down for an overnight visit. (He is a blog for another day, but I will say that we are very close and are known as "the twins born four years apart.") We spent the morning out shopping for his last minute Christmas presents and made a stop over to the furniture store so I could get his opinion on the couches I loved. After finally deciding and the salesman mistaking us for a married couple (which happens a LOT), the purchase was made, and a delivery date set.

This morning my husband got a call from the furniture company at 7:30 in the blessed a.m. saying our couch was on its way. (I usually don't saunter into work until 9-9:30. I value my sleep too much.) At 8:45 we were both awakened by the delivery of our new couch! (Yes, I was still fast asleep, having pushed the snooze button on my alarm clock at least 10 times by that point.) Since we hadn't removed our old couch the night before, the new one is now sitting in front of it, patiently waiting to take its new place after I get home to help remove its predecessor tonight. Mags and I can't wait to snug on it.

The old couch. Check out how the cushions sag into the middle, especially the one on the right.

I usually end up sitting in the middle where the cushions start to seperate and move forward, leaving me with my bum down inside the couch.

The new couch! Can you hear the angels singing its praises?

Mags is already making herself at home.

Taking a Breather

After a more than hectic day at work today, I decided to take the night off. I have work to do, I just refuse to do it. It will still be there tomorrow. This is in part due to the comments from my very sweet friends on my last posting. This R&R is for you ladies! How could I not take such sound advice? Especially after the comment from Michele who has been where I am and knows how important it is to not overdo things. I already did that once.

Tonight I am taking some time to just sit on my backside, read blogs, watch TV, and play some much deserved fetch with my faithful canine companion who has recently decided she likes to lick inside my ear. (EW!) I always tell her she is good for my heart, and I really believe that. Mags has a way of lowering my blood pressure, and when I am really stressed out, I can feel it all drain away in a good snug with my pooch.

In honor of my night of R&R, I wanted to post the pictures from my trip this spring that really help relax me when I feel my stress levels starting to shoot through the roof. These are honestly on the wall in my office at work. Please relax and enjoy!

Christ Church, Dublin, Ireland

This is my all-time favorite relaxation picture. I love the sheep in the distance. Kilmahog (did I spell that right Kath?), Scotland

Loch Ness, Scotland (Can you just feel your stress floating away?)

Bath, England (We stayed on the top floor of the building on the right. The third and fourth windows were our room.)