New Year's Resolutions

One look at the title and I know what you're thinking, "Oh, she is going to make some lame new year's resolutions that she isn't going to keep, and they are going to be stupid things like lose weight and clean the house once a week." Well, you would be wrong.

When I began my adult life, I began a lot of new personal traditions; I began with a new perspective on life; and I left behind all of the things from my youth that seemed just plain stupid to me. I can't exactly say when my adult life began, and I don't know that it was an overnight as opposed to over many years thing, but there was definitely a point where I shed the last of my ignorant youth.

Personal traditions I began included really taking care of myself, and taking time out of life to really focus on me. This included doing things for myself that I enjoyed for no other reason that I enjoyed them. Indulging on the occasional completely selfish purchase, such as a box of chocolates, new CD, or movie, or even going on vacations because I just plain wanted to. Aside from the worldly possessions, sometimes taking time out of life meant I enrolled in meditation classes to get in touch with myself during a self-definition phase. These moments not only profited me, but everyone I came in contact with because I was a better person after having taken care of myself.

The self-definition phases ultimately led to the new perspective on life. My dad always taught me to be open minded, and I prided myself on my ability to be so. I thrive on never shutting my mind to anything or anyone. Of course, that doesn't mean I don't follow my instincts when they kick in. I don't throw all caution to the wind, but I am open to possibilities.

One of the things I left behind was the idea of a new year's resolution. I never really understood the idea behind them. If you want to change something about your life, why wait until a specific date on the calendar to do so? Why not start changing it right away? The chances of you accomplishing it if you put it off for a special date decrease the further away the date is. I admit, I snickered internally when people honestly said they were making new year's resolutions. I would think to myself, "I bet you work on it all the way until January 2nd." I know, not nice, but that is what I thought and still think.

For 2009 I will do the same thing I have done at the beginning of every new year that I have done for as long as I can remember: I will be the best person I can be and will give all I can to every situation. If I have done my best, I will recognize I did my best and be happy in that knowledge. I will continue to be who I am, and change anything about me that I don't like the moment I realize I don't like it. I will continue to strive to be the best wife, mother, daughter, sister, auntie, and friend that I can be. In 2009, I will be me. That is all anyone, including myself, can ask of me.

I wish you all the best for 2009. May it be your banner year, full of hope and promise.

Year In Review

As 2008 is days from coming to an end, I thought it was time to create my Year in Review post. (Keep in mind, this will not be my only farewell to 2008 post.) This year has definitely been the most action-packed of my adult life. I knew at the end of last year that 2008 would be a banner year, but I had no idea what I was really in for.

• On January 3, with my hands shaking and my heart pounding, I posted my resume online. I cried for half an hour afterward and debated taking it back off. However, I knew it was a good move, despite my fear of the unknown.
• Less than 30 days after posting my resume, I had received numerous phone calls for potential jobs, one from my current employer. Within three weeks of the initial phone call, I was offered the job on February 26. It included an all expenses paid relocation package, plus a relocation bonus.
• On March 14, we drove away from our townhome for the last time.

• I began my new job for the best employer I have ever had the opportunity to work for on March 17. I knew I had a good thing, but I had no idea just yet about how good it would be.
• I found a reputable dog breeder and called to place a deposit on a Border Collie pup on Maarch 29, and my name was added to a waiting list.
• On April 13, we closed on our first house. We moved in on April 17th.

• Sometime in April I met my fantastic best friend. I've never had such a wonderful best friend, and realized I had no idea what it was like to really have a best friend. We find it ironic we were in all the same places during our lives at the same time and never met until we both moved here.
• On May 11, I got a call from the breeder, informing me that my pup had been born on May 5.

• May 4 came very unpleasantly and unwelcome at the time as the day my monthly visitor reared her ugly head and informed me yet again that I was not pregnant. Little did I know that day would be known as the first day of my last menstrual period for the next 40 weeks.
• I went home sick from work on May 30 due to some pretty extreme dizziness. This was my first pregnancy symptom, unbeknownst to me at the time.
• On June 6, I went to meet my new OB. After informing her my period was three days late, she asked me to take a pregnancy test three times before I finally relented. A few minutes later, my doctor came back into the exam room, leaned over me, and whispered in my ear, “It’s positive. You’re pregnant!”

• With Mags in the car, we drove to Austin on June 11 to pick up the newest member of our family, Sadie Roo.

• The rest of June through the first half of September were spent just getting used to being pregnant, being in a new job, and being in a new state. I guess you could say I was in a bit of shock recovery.
• We found out we were having a baby girl on September 18.

• On September 20, we went on our last vacation as a couple to Cayman.

• My mom came out to my new house for the first time on October 9, and we spent the weekend baby shopping.
• My little brother came out on Oct 31, and we went to a renaissance festival.
• I went home for the first time since moving to Texas on November 6.

• My dad came out to see my new house for the first time on November 15, and we spent the weekend just hanging out and talking.
• On November 25, we saw our baby girl in 3D.

• For Thanksgiving, we spent over 24 hours driving in the car.
• In December I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes, and spent the month getting ready for the baby and Christmas, which leads us to now.

As you can see, it has been a busy year for us, full of surprise after surprise. I knew last year when I was struggling with things that better days had to be just around the corner. I kept telling myself to hang in there, continually reassuring myself that 2008 would be our year, and it absolutely was. We have had our ups and downs to be sure. It hasn't all be sunshine and happiness, but compared to last year, our ship definitely came in.

Another Picture Post

I've been feeling much better about things today. I guess posting my feelings last night really helped me work through it all in my head, and now I am back to being excited and not caring so much about the bodily destruction, despite the fact that two coworkers told me today I look huge and two other coworkers told me they thought I delivered my baby over the weekend (because I am so large).

Happy to be back on the sunny side, I decided to finish up putting together baby items and spend some time in the nursery. Here is what I have been doing since Saturday morning....

I asked Mags to help me out by keeping me company while I worked on the nursery, but she was so upset about being in her "pooch pants" and the fact that I would degradingly take her picture, she wanted nothing to do with me. She went and hid under the bed after this picture was taken.

Last weekend I started painting the strips on one nursery wall. It was immediately evident that the purple color I chose was too light, as you can see here. I ended up going back to the store and getting a darker color. Luckily it only takes about 30 minutes to paint all of the stripes.

This is the finished product with the darker color. Sades either really enjoyed the color, or she really liked the smell of the no VOC paint. Can't get high off of that little girl, sorry.

She needed a better sniff, so she stuck her nose in the corner and took a nap. Either that or she was rendered unconscious by the lack of fumes.

Next up, I started unpacking all of the boxes my mom and sister sent. If you are extremely observative and care a great deal, you will notice that many of the items in this picture are the same as the ones shown in the post about the shower my mom threw for me when I went home in November.

Once I got all of the boxes unpacked, I put together the antique crib my sister passed on to me. This is a very miniature version of a crib. All of my mother's babies slept in it, my mother and her siblings slept in it, my mother's mother and her siblings slept in it, and now my baby will sleep in it. It is in incredible shape for having been through so many years and babies. There isn't a ding or a scratch. I also put together the Di.aper Ge.nie II De.lux in the corner.

My sister sent me this adorable little number. It was a gift to her from some friends who are part of the royal family in Indonesia. Its a little covered baby sleeper that you can use to contain baby anywhere you need. My sister used to put it on the dining room table and put her baby in it while she cooked dinner. That way the baby was safe and contained, and she could keep an eye on her.

This is the same thing, I just opened it up so you could see how adorable it is inside. It even has a little pillow. Awww!

Next I put together the Pa.pasan baby swing. A coworker offered to allow me to borrow his swing last week at work and sent me an Am.azon link so I could see what he was offering. When I saw it was on sale for $87, down from $140, came with free shipping, had 1077 customer reviews with an average 4.5 star rating (750+ 5 star ratings), I thanked him for the offer and bought my own. On top of all of its other perks, it was $13 less than the one I was going to buy that didn't get as good customer ratings.

I was on a roll, so I rounded out the evening by putting together the bouncer. I had a small pregnancy brain moment while putting this little fella together, but now its all done and there it is. Now I just need to go get a gigantic box of D-sized batteries so I can test out the bouncer and swing. Good thing I have to go to the store tomorrow anyway. :D

See that baby girl? All of these goodies are just for YOU! Mom loves you!

Lamenting

I'm not sure why, but my visit to Labor and Delivery the other day really messed with my head. Ever since then I have been weepy and just about downright depressed. It was like after that night I took a good look at my body and saw just how bad my stretch marks have gotten, just how big my butt and thighs are, and realized I officially have cankles. I also realized I have at least 6 weeks to go yet. This made me rethink the fact that I wasn't ready for this baby to come out. I've been doing a lot of thinking... and a lot of weeping.

I look at my body going south with pregnancy and realize that I will never have my prepregnancy body back again. Then I feel bad that I feel that way because we wanted so badly to be here, we tried so hard for so long, and here I am, lamenting the loss of my beach belly and cute bum. The infertile in me wants to smack me and tell me to suck it up. I knew my self image would take a blow this late in pregnancy, I just didn't know how hard it would be. For the first time since I found out I was pregnant, I am ready for this baby to be here, but it is only so the carnage to my body can stop. I won't let hubs look at what is going on under the maternity pants because I don't want him to remember the glaring red stretch marks coupled with the cellulite. He's lucky I let him see my swollen cankles. At this point, people asking me when I am ready to "pop" or telling me that I am huge makes me feel even worse. As you can see by the picture in the sidebar, my belly is HUGE. 6 weeks to go still....

So I start thinking that I am ready for this baby to come out, which inevitably leads to the next thought process -- life after Baby Bean is born. That comes with a whole new range of emotions. Of course I am excited to have this baby, but then I am also sad that certain parts of my life will never be the same again. Never again will it just be hubs and me on an airplane, hating the people with the screaming baby and thinking, "Oh great, this is going to be a long flight," when the screaming baby sits behind us. WE will be THAT couple. We will be the couple with the annoying kid in the restaurant that people hate. Going to see a movie? Forget about that for the next few years. I fully realize this baby is going to change our lives, and I pray that it is for the better. I am sure we will be so in love with her that these thoughts will seem silly and stupid once she is here. Maybe we won't care that we're THAT couple. At least we'll have an understanding for other people who are.

When I realize I am lamenting the carefree life I am about to lose, I feel really horrible, and I hold my belly and apologize to Baby Bean. I love her so much, and I want her here. I want to hold her, love her, care for her, show her off, be proud of her, be her mom. So I have a crazy sleep schedule for a couple of months. What is a couple months in the grand scheme of things? This is MY DAUGHTER. I am willing to give up the couples-only life. I am willing to cater to a crazy baby schedule. So my body goes to hell for a while; we live in an age where almost everything is fixable. I want this baby.

At times I feel so unprepared. Do I know everything I need to know? Do I have everything I need to have? Are we setup to be awesome parents? Is there something we need to be doing and aren't? I look at all of the baby gear we have and wonder if it is enough. I thought I was prepared, but now I'm starting to doubt myself. I don't want my baby to suffer because I don't know what I need to know. How do I know if I'm not prepared though?

I am sure what I'm going through is completely normal for any first time parent. I'm sure it also has to do with the fact that my baby could come at any time over the next few weeks, so I feel like we're coming down to the wire and it is time to get serious. I feel a full range of emotions ranging from selfish, humbled, ignorant, excited, and ready.

I am so happy that I get to be here. I am still excited that I get to experience pregnancy and the anticipation of our first born. I can't wait until my little girl is born. Just like I did with training border collies, I will figure out how to raise my baby girl to be the best she can be. We will figure things out as they come. Life is going to be better and more fulfilling in just a few weeks' time.

Welcome to Labor and Delivery

Last night as I was trying to catch up on all of your lovely blogs I began having what I thought were just braxton hicks. I didn't think much of it, as I normally have them a lot throughout every day. My doctor always tells me to time them, but I never really think twice about it. Last night, however, we had visitors from our church come over. They showed up around 8:00, and within minutes of their sitting down, I had a contraction. Because I wasn't really paying attention to anything else, I noted the time. Six minutes later, I had another one. I certainly didn't expect the next hour to go the way it did. I ended up having contractions every 5-6 minutes on average. Every time I would have one, it would feel like my heart slowed down, like I couldn't breathe, and like my blood sugar had dropped off, followed by a brief spell where I would get really hot. 45 minutes into our visitor's stay, I started to panic a bit. I started to wish that they would wrap up the conversation and go home. An hour after they arrived our guests tried to get up to go, but Hubs really likes having these guys over, and so the conversation continued well beyond the initial, "Well, we'll get out of your hair now." With each contraction, I would squeeze Hubs' hand in an attempt to tell him he needed to wrap it up and let our guests go, but he was blissfully oblivious, thinking I was giving him a love squeeze.

Finally at around 9:30, our guests left. As soon as Hubs closed the door, I tried so hard to choke back my tears as I said, "What did Dr. L say we were supposed to do if I had more than four braxton hicks in an hour?" When I told him they were every 5-6 minutes, he told me to call the Dr. I called the emergency contact number for my doctor and was greeted by a recording that said if my situation was deemed to not be an emergency, I would be charged $25. I hung up and cried. Then I called my sister to ask what I should do. She told me to call back and risk the $25, Hubs agreed, and they both agreed that I would not be charged $25. This time I had Hubs call because I knew the second I opened my mouth I was going to bawl and be virtually incoherent to a nurse. He left a message for the on-call doctor, and within minutes we got the call back. I was able to hold things together long enough to tell the nurse what was going on. She told me that I needed to head to the hospital and go to Labor and Delivery. I freaking lost it! I just started bawling. I was so not ready for this baby to come out yet! I was worried, scared, and completely exhausted. I didn't want to go to L&D. I wanted to go to bed.

Hubs and I went to the hospital and were taken back to a room where they hooked me up on a fetal monitor to check on Baby Bean's heart rate, and another monitor to determine if I was having contractions or just braxton hicks. Sure enough, I was having full on contractions. I looked at Hubs and tried so hard not to cry. The next step was to do a vaginal swab to check for fetal fibronectin. Then came the absolute worst part of the evening. The nurse checked my cervix to see if I was dilated. Ladies, I am going to tell you something I think you all ought to know. Having your cervix checked hurts like a (@#*%&?&$&%*(?*#*!!!!! I wasn't bleeding when I went into L&D, but I sure was when I left. The most interesting part of the experience was that every time I would have a contraction, Baby Bean's heart rate would go up. Hubs thought it was kind of funny that he could tell when I was contracting. "You must be having a contraction." "Yep."

Long story short, we ended up being in L&D for 3 hours. My contractions were constant, but my cervix was completely closed. The fetal fibronectin came back negative, and they informed me that a neg result was a really good indication that I would not go into labor within the next two weeks (whew!). They have no clue why I was contracting. They gave me a shot of turbutaline that stopped the contractions within about 15 minutes, and then gave me a pill of the same just before they released me to go home. By the time I got to bed, it was almost 2:00 in the morning. Needless to say, I missed a lot of work today.

Luckily I already had a doctor appointment scheduled for today to follow up on my GD. She put my mind at ease with the contractions and told me when it would be time to be concerned if it happens again, which is basically if they continue for hours or get progressively painful. I also went over my blood test results with her regarding the GD and she said my numbers looked great. She said the dietitians at the Diabetes Center were a lot more conservative than her and she just wants my levels below 140, which means my 136 on Monday was normal. Yay! Yay! Yay! It IS as easy as I thought it would be. And I DO get to eat cookies still. :D

I'm just glad that I finally feel like things are back on track and like I can relax for at least another two weeks.

Lonely Christmas

This Christmas is going to be a tough one for me. It is going to be my first Christmas away from all of my family. It is just going to be Hubs, me, baby in the oven, and our two dogs. My family couldn't afford to fly out to be with us. I couldn't fly starting a week ago. Hubs' family chose not to come share Christmas with us. So it will be a lonely Christmas at our house. Yes, next year we will have our baby girl, and next year will be so much fun, but that doesn't help me with this year.

I have tried not to think about it too much because if I do it will just make me sad. In an attempt to cope with the idea, I have barred all feelings toward the day. I'm not excited. I'm not sad (yet). I feel nothing. Right now it just feels like any other day. I'm looking more forward to having Wed-Fri off next week than I am the actual day. I'm sure we'll sleep in, open gifts at some point (assuming Hubs gets me anything), and tonight we decided to catch a movie that day. We'll probably also get our traditional Christmas Eve Wen.dys (a tradition we started last year when snow prevented us from going to my parent's).

Don't get me wrong, I am really happy with my current life situation. I have a fantastic husband who takes my verbal hormonal beatings and still loves me despite them. I am 8 months pregnant by the most fantastic husband with the most beautiful baby girl ever (see 3D ultrasound scans). We have two of the smartest, most amazing border collie dogs who are adorable, protective snuggle bugs. We have a great house (despite its heating and draft problems). I have the best best friends I have ever had, one right here and one 1300 miles away. I've never had such caring best friends. I have the best job ever where I constantly get praised for my work (and praise is not dished lightly). Right now, I've just got a touch of the holiday and lack of sun and carbs blues.

At least I will be able to call my family on Christmas day, and who doesn't have a web cam these days? Mom, can you send us some of your fantastic Christmas dinner too please? :D Otherwise I am sure we will eat Christmas burritos or PB&J sandwiches. lol I'm sure we'll start some kind of new dinner tradition.

I'm going to quit whining now. Its only one day in one year, and that one day next year will be amazing with our little Baby Bean who will be almost a year old by then. I will just continue to be excited that I only have to work Mon and Tues next week and the week after. I am really looking forward to being able to sleep in for five days in a row and having so many days to get everything done that I need to to get ready for Baby Bean.

Gestational Diabetes Sucks

I went to my GD class yesterday to educate myself on my current condition in my current condition. First of all I want to say that I was comforted when they told me that the GD was NOT my fault. There is nothing I could have done to prevent this, and that it all has to do with the pregnancy hormones blocking my insulin receptors from processing my sugar properly. The fact that I have a family history of diabetes absolutely also played a role in my getting GD as well. It had nothing to do with my food choices, or with my exercise regimen (or lack thereof). I am so glad I can quit beating myself up over this.

The class wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. According to what they said, I can still have some of everything I want, just in serious moderation. I found out today that that meant SERIOUS moderation. I basically get to count carbs for the rest of my pregnancy and was given a guideline for each meal and snack. Pretty much I can only have 30 carbs for each of my three daily snacks and 30-45 for my big meals. When you realize how many carbs are in the food you eat, you realize really quickly that even 45 carbs isn't very much at all. I starved today because freaking everything is a carb!

I was instructed to test my blood at least four times a day, once in the morning before I eat anything, and then two hours after each meal. If I feel "off" at all during the day, I am supposed to perform a finger prick then as well. I am supposed to keep a diary of my blood glucose levels every time I take them and what time I took them. I also get to test my urine for ketones every morning to ensure that I am not burning fat on this new regimen (yay [yes, that is sarcastic]). I am supposed to walk for 15 minutes an hour after each meal. To top it all off, I am supposed to document EVERYTHING I eat and what time I ate it. Can you say "pain in the ass!"? My entire day now revolves around blood sugar. Everything I do affects blood sugar.

1. Get up in the morning and test ketones.
2. Test blood sugar.
3. Eat breakfast.
4. Write down test results, what I ate, and what time.
5. Walk for 15 minutes an hour after eating.
6. Test two hours after eating.
7. Snack.
8. Eat lunch.
9. Write down test results, what I ate, and what time.
10. Walk for 15 minutes an hour after eating.
11. Test two hours after eating.
12. Snack....

Today was not a good first day either. I had a bowl of frosted mini wheats, that said they were on my approved diet list, with milk. My blood sugar is supposed to be below 120 two hours after eating. When I tested, I was at 136! I about died. No wonder I felt like crap. I called the clinic and the dietitian helped me figure out I had eaten 50 carbs at breakfast, almost double the 30 I was supposed to cap out at. After I had gotten the 136 reading, I went for a 15 minute walk and retested at 69. I asked if it was normal for my blood sugar to drop off like that, and she told me it was. Two hours after lunch my count was 125. I was seriously frustrated by this point because I was trying to do what I was told, but my counts were still high AND I was freaking starving!

When I was told what to eat in class yesterday I thought it all sounded so simple, and like it would be no problem to follow the guidelines, but today I realized just how hard it is. How is a pregnant woman supposed to keep from starving when she can't eat anything? According to the class, most things I thought were proteins are carbs, like dairy and beans. The funny thing is, milk is considered a carb, but cheese isn't. Huh? Hubs has been trying to help me figure out what I can eat since he was into nutrition a while back. He's told me the class was BS and has been trying to educate me on what will keep my blood sugar from spiking.

I am just glad that I only have 6.5 weeks left of my pregnancy where I will have to deal with this. The other two girls in my class were four weeks behind me in their pregnancies. Hopefully tomorrow will go a little bit better than today, and I can get things at the store tonight to prevent myself from starving tomorrow.

In other news, the weather here is just freaking strange. It was 80 degrees here on Sunday, so I went out and cleaned up the back yard and the front flower bed. By the time the sun went down that night, the temperature had dropped 40 degrees. The next day we had freezing rain, and it has been overcast and gloomy since. Of course our brand new heater went out Monday morning again. To make it even more fun, I think the heaters for upstairs and downstairs are taking turns going out. :D I still think the previous homeowners are laughing at us for buying this place.

To end things on a good note, I had my monthly review with my project manager today at work, and he told me that he is still really pleased with my work. They don't have any plans on bringing anyone in to replace me while I am gone on maternity leave, but rather contracting my job out until I get back. He has been super understanding about my missing so much work with my pregnancy, which has been really nice. Job security in these crazy times is really comforting.

Oh man! And Yay!

Last night we FINALLY got the nursery painted. We taped it out last weekend, but by the time I got around to painting it, I was having a lot of braxton hicks and was just hurting in general. I ended up spending the whole next day just laying around because I was still so tired. The outlook on getting it done yesterday was looking pretty grim too just because I was so busy, but I absolutely wanted to get it done, and I did minutes before I needed to get ready for my work Christmas party.

After I got home from the party, I removed the tape from one of the stripes... it didn't look good. The lilac paint I had chosen was almost as light as the beige color already on the walls, and they kind of faded into each other. Dang it! I went back to Lo.wes today and got a new shade of purple that is about twice as dark as the first, and I think we have a winner. I'm currently waiting for it to dry so I can go take a peek. The funny thing is, the purple against the beige makes the yellow in the beige really stand out, so it looks more like purple and yellow. The other walls, however, still look beige. They honsestly look like two different colors. Luckily Hubs and I still think it looks good and will go great with the Wi.nnie the Po.oh crib set my mom bought. (Pictures to come.)

As for the Christmas party last night, it should have taken us 20-25 minutes tops to get there from our house. But how long did it actually take? ALMOST 2.5 HOURS!!! Apparently the place they decided to have the party is a massive hotel/convention center that was hosting about a billion Christmas parties as well as little girl gymnastics and cheerleading competitions as well as some ice sculpture showcase that people are amazingly willing to spend 2 hours driving less than 3 miles (no joke) to see. I had a quarter tank of gas when we left the house, drove maybe 10 miles, and was on empty by the time we got to the party. Yeah, I was a tad on the ornery side by the time we got there and vowed not to attend next year if it was held in the same place. The only reason we didn't turn around and go home was because my BFF hitched a ride with us, and I didn't want her to miss the party.

The night wasn't a complete bust, however. They only gave away about 24 prizes to hundreds of people, and I was one of the lucky 24! I won $25 gift cards to Ba.rnes and No.ble, AMC, Block.Buster, and i.Tunes, as well as an i.Pod Sh.uffle. I am pretty pleased with the digs and will put all four gift cards to good use. Hubs laughed when I won the Shuffle because I won one at my Christmas party last year too. I now own three Shuffles and a Na.no. lol

Tonight I finally got around to unpacking all of the boxes my mom sent and some of the ones my sister sent. I am completely overwhelmed! How do I know which bottles to use? How do I know which nipples to use? Why do some baby clothes say they are for newborns but are bigger than the cloths for 3-6 month olds? How do I ensure that my baby will be able to wear all of the clothes she now has based the size on the tag? I can't. I don't want to have new clothes she never wears because the stupid tags are wrong. Where am I going to put all of these things? I need a toy box! And then came the breast pump.... I am so overwhelmed with everything else my brain can't comprehend how I figure THAT thing out! Wonderfully, after everything my sister sent, I don't think we will need very much else. We still need to get the swing, and maybe a bottle warmer for when Hubs is an At-Home-Dad (he works from home) to help make his life a bit easier, but I don't think we need anything else other than that. YAY! Perhaps tomorrow I will do another picture post to show off all of my hard work from this weekend. Right now, I am just so dang pooped and sore, I can't bring myself to make another trip upstairs to get the camera.

Now, it is time for bed and much needed foot massage.

What a Doozy

This week has been a real doozie, and I am certainly glad that it is over and will be completely behind me in 24 hours and 20 minutes from now. At least today ended on a good note when it started off rough. This week:

1. Our brand new heater went out again (NEVER EVER BUY ANYTHING FROM SE.ARS THAT IS VITAL TO YOUR COMFORT [i.e., air conditioner, heater, fridge, etc.).
2. Maggie went into heat (I'll spare you the details).
3. My car needed new rear brakes.
4. My car needs new rear struts.
5. I managed to avoid stretch marks on my belly... until now.
6. Work was a total pain in the @$$ and I wanted to rip my hair out.
7. Baby Bean moved so little this morning, I called the doctor and had to go in for an emergency ultrasound.

Things did manage to turn around during my doctor visit today though. The ultrasound of Baby Bean revealed that she is perfect and that everything is perfect (i.e., the amount of amniotic fluid, her size, her development, etc.). My doctor said that I can expect her movements to decrease slightly the rest of my pregnancy and that they will feel different from here on out as she gets bigger and runs out of space. The odd thing was I could see her moving on the ultrasound, but I couldn't always feel it. I attribute it to the fact that my belly is stretched so tight it is slightly numb to touch both inside and out. My doctor told me that I could put my mind at ease for a bit because once they perform a scan like they did today, things rarely go wrong within the next two weeks. (Does that mean I can call back in two weeks for another scan? :D ) That will help me relax if she does have quiet days over the next couple weeks though. Although she totally made up for her lack of movement tonight while Hubs and I were snuggling on the couch watching TV. She was moving up a storm and tickling my belly from the inside. It almost feels like her little fingers or toes are wiggling against my tummy and it tickles and makes me laugh. I can't wait until we start seeing fingers and toes defined when she pushes out.

It is hard to believe I only have seven weeks at most left of my pregnancy. If my baby is anything like my sister's, she could come three weeks early, which means she could be here in just five weeks! I'm just glad she didn't have to come today. The thought did occur to me as I left work to go to the hospital. I just can't believe how fast it has all gone. It seems like just yesterday that we found out we were pregnant, yet it seems like I have always been pregnant (in a good way). I am still enjoying every second of it, but am also starting to see how pregnancy is uncomfortable in the last couple months.

I just realized that it is midnight and my brain has not been working for some time, so I am going to abruptly end this post and take my tired self and baby girl to bed. We have a lot of work to do on the nursery tomorrow that includes unpacking the boxes my sister sent as well as the three new boxes that arrived from my parents today. :)

Thank You

First of all, I just want to send out a big heart-felt thank you to everyone in blogland who has asked or offered to send things to us for the baby. Your generosity is heart warming, and I sincerely appreciate being in your thoughts. However, in talking things over with Hubs, neither of us feels completely comfortable giving out our home address or personal information.

Our baby is coming into a very loving family and has received many generous gifts from our friends and family. As the holiday season approaches, we realize that there are many babies out there who do not have the support group our little girl does, or people to love and care for them the way our friends and family care for our child. We want to ask at this time that rather than sending gifts to our baby girl, that you please donate them to children less fortunate than her.

I hope that you all understand our reasons for needing to turn them down, and that you are not offended. Please know that we are truly touched by all who have asked to send us gifts.

Picture Post

I thought it was time for a bit of picture fun, so I thought I would post up a few showing what has been going on in our house over the past few weeks. First off, a Big Belly shot.

Here I am, 31 weeks pregnant! I can't believe I only have 8 weeks to go! Baby Bean is currently wiggling up a storm, and boy is she getting strong. Her movements have taken my breath away a couple of times this week because they are so strong. I literally watch my belly bounce from one side to the other. Sometimes she just downright tickles me, which is the weirdest thing. She is getting big and space for her is definitely at a commodity. It cracks me up when she stretches out and my belly goes from round to oblong. I have started to waddle a bit, and I definitely walk slower these days. It is getting hard to get up from sitting, and pulling myself out of the car is a sight to see. lol I am having a hard time sleeping lately, but less than half of the reason is due to the baby. I am just really, really grateful for parental massages!

Here is Sadie, getting ready to help mom clean out the baby's room. Or perhaps I should say getting ready to shred anything mom leaves out in the baby's room that could accidentally be within her reach. But look at that face! How can I get mad at such a sweet puppy!

This is where the nursery cleaning project began. No, this monstrous closet isn't the baby's it's mine. I had to make room in here for all of the things currently in Baby Bean's room. Our house has next to zero storage, so it is a good thing I am really good at making things fit. I pride myself on my excellent packing skills.

This is the nursery about two weeks ago. I know it doesn't look like a whole heck of a lot right here, but this is about half of what needed to find a new home on my closet. This stuff was just what was lurking under the bed. I had that much again, if not more, in the closet. Yes, it was a very daunting task. However, once I got started, I loved it because I was cleaning out the room for my daughter.

Here is my closet post-nursery cleaning. As you can see, almost every single viewable space has been used to capacity. The shelves on the upper right are actually bowing, but Hubs assures me they were doing that before he packed them up with boxes for me.

Ahhhh! Done with the cleaning at last! I got the nursery to this point by about 5:00 last night. Keep in mind, it was a three-weekend project getting it here. I took a wee break, and then began taping out the walls in preparation for the lilac stripes I want to paint. I had to quit after I had taped out three stripes because they aren't going perfectly straight up and down the walls, so I opted to let Hubs help me with his perfectionist ways. I went and bought the paint for the room at 9:00 last night.

These boxes showed up from my sister on Thursday. They are packed FULL of baby gear. I haven't gone through them all yet because I am waiting until the nursery is painted so that I can move them up there, spread them out, and go through everything. The tall skinny box on the left is an heirloom crib that has been passed down from my mother's side of the family for generations. Its is a bassinet that looks like a miniature crib that my grandmother, mother, my siblings and I, and my sister's babies slept in. Now my little baby girl will sleep in it. I am pretty sure that with everything my sister sent, we won't need very much more. The only large item we have outstanding at this point is the swing.

Perhaps this picture doesn't do it justice, but this is one of the boxes my sister sent. They are seriously FULL of baby gear. Thanks Beanie!!! Believe me, I won't be upset you sent me so much. It will save us hundreds of dollars!

My pooches think they are pooped from all of the work I have been doing lately. I just love my snuggy little girls.

Diganosis Confirmation

Well, I do have gestational diabetes. The good new is that I just BARELY have it. My control blood sample was normal, and the first hour blood draw was normal; however, my third blood draw came out ONE point above normal, and my fourth blood draw came out TWO points above normal. So I just barely slid under the door into the GD category.

The other good new is that I don't have to cut out all of my sweets. I can still have an occasional treat without worrying. The bad news is I have to go to diabetic counseling next week where I will receive a diet and exercise plan accompanied with a glucose meter. I will have to check my blood sugar a few times throughout the day, including after the three big meals, for the next few weeks. If things stay under control, I will only have to check my blood sugar a couple of times a day for the duration of my pregnancy. All in all, it is a better outcome than I predicted, but still a slight bummer.

I was also very pleasantly surprised to find I had gained only one pound since my last appointment almost three weeks ago. That is a vast improvement over the 10 pounds I gained between that appointment and the one four weeks before. I wanted to clap my hands with glee when I saw the scale today. I could have sworn I packed on 5 pounds in the past three weeks, so you can imagine how happy I was that it was only one. :D

I definitely don't feel as depressed after today as I did yesterday after I got the call from the nurse. I am really happy that it wasn't worse. As long as I watch what I eat from here on out, the GD won't be a problem at all.

Crap

I just got the call from my doctor's office regarding my 3-hour glucose test... they won't give me my results over the phone, and I am supposed to go in tomorrow for "instructions." That isn't good. I told the nurse I didn't think that was good. She laughed and said, "Dr. L told me to tell you not to worry, and that it isn't anything to be stressed about." Okay, but you can't give me my results over the phone and I have to go see her tomorrow for "instruction," so that can't be good. I am assuming I was told not to worry not because I don't have gestational diabetes, but because it can be controlled with diet and exercise. My guess is that my "instruction" will be a new diet and exercise plan complete with multiple daily finger pricks.

Yep, I cried.

It DOES explain the weight gain though.

And despite my trying to convince myself that I was good about what I ate over the past couple months, I have finally conceded the fact that no, I have not been good. Chick.fil.et is NOT good, especially when eaten 2-3 times a week with a chocolate shake every time. Cookies by the dozen in the span of a couple days are not good. French fries are not good. Chocolate covered cinnamon bears are not good (I know they sound disgusting, but they are awesome, and I have converted everyone who thought so). So I have to admit, to myself and to everyone else, that I was not good, and that I did this to myself. *sigh*

I will keep you all posted on how it goes tomorrow....

Now We Wait

I did it. I made it through the 3-hour glucose screening yesterday. And then I felt like crap for the whole rest of the day. Its a good thing the glucose drink made me completely sick to my stomach, otherwise I would have been starving by the time lunch came around. lol Unfortunately, I won't get my test results back for at least a week, so I am trying to cut out the sugar now and take lunches with me to work because I definitely eat better when I brown bag.

It also occurred to me today that I am less than 9 weeks away from this baby being born (because they will schedule my c-section a week before she is due), and I am not sure how the maternity leave process works. I plan on working right up until the baby is born so that I can take my full 8 weeks leave to be with her and not waste any of it waiting for her. I informed my HR rep of my decision and asked what I would need to do. It turns out, if I have to leave work early on doctor's orders (like for bed rest) I will get paid the entire time and it won't count against my 8 weeks of maternity leave. Likewise, if I am unable to return to work at the end of the 8 weeks, I will get paid until I am allowed to return. Have I mentioned yet how much I love my job?! I also found out we get Christmas bonuses, and that mine hit my bank account yesterday. I couldn't believe how much it was. Now I can afford to buy Hubs what I wanted to for Christmas!

The pregnancy has been totally different since the 3D ultrasound last week. I can now envision my little baby tucked soundly inside my tummy. I even have a clear mental picture of her face, which is so incredible. Up until the scan when people asked me if I was ready for her to come out, my response was always, "I am enjoying my pregnancy and don't wish a moment of it away." Now that I've seen my baby, I want her to be here only so I can hold her and start bonding with her, but not at all because I am miserable being pregnant, or wish she would just get out already.

I am also starting to get people asking me when I am "due to pop." I always flinch when people put it so eloquently. I guess I am big enough that people think I should be ready to give birth any day. At least they don't act surprised when I tell them I have less than 9 weeks. lol Either that, or as an outsider to the pregnancy, it seems as though I have been pregnant forever. Haven't I? I don't remember not being pregnant anymore, but you won't hear any complaints from me! I have loved every single second (except the reflux ones).

I have been having a lot of braxton hicks lately too. In fact, I've had three while I've been sitting here writing this post. I would call my doctor, but she is apparently out of town. I was actually supposed to have an appointment this morning, but they called and cancelled it yesterday while I was in their office doing my glucose test. I left work early this afternoon because I had three braxton hicks within 40 minutes, so I came home, put my feet up, and took a nap. I guess if they continue through tomorrow, I will call the doctor's office anyway.

In pooch news, Sadie has decided it is time to act out and stick it to the mom. I don't know what her deal is, but she has decided that the baby's room is a gigantic cave filled to the brim with chew toys just for her. The little stink actually goes in there, roots around, climbs up on things, and selects items from the room to chew on. I don't get why things in there are so much tastier than the toys in her toy box. Last night she rooted around in the closet, climbed up on a shelf, and pulled out a stuffed dog Christmas tree ornament that she tore up all over the house while I was in the shower. Sometimes it is a curse and a blessing that border collies are so smart. Lucky for her, I love her a lot. She has yet to be spanked by my hand, and I have a hard time working up the anger to get mad at her because I have been controlling my anger since I got pregnant to prevent it from hurting the baby. My next stop on the web tonight is Pets.mart to buy some new, interactive chew toys for her.