Oh Yeah, I'm There

First of all, I have to ask all of you who have ever done cycles if you have ever been put on pr.ome.trium. I started it Friday night, and took the first dose just before bed. I've been on progesterone before, but not pr.ome.trium. I am supposed to take it twice a day, and the pharmacist warned me that she was also taking it and that it always made her really tired, but she only had to take it once a day, so she wished me good luck. Thanks.

Saturday morning I took my second dose with breakfast, then headed out to go grocery shopping with Baby Bean. First we went to Cost.co, which is probably 7 or so miles from our house. We got in and out, and then on the way to the next store, I started to feel funny. Just a little tired, nothing big, so we soldiered on. About 5 minutes later I really started to feel it. Within another 5 minutes, I knew I was in trouble and needed to get my child home and out of the car I was driving ASAP. By the time I got home, my speech was slurred and I felt like I was on really heavy narcot.ics. I could barely move. It took everything I had to tell my husband what was going on and then make it to my bed where I crashed for hours. When I finally came to, I told my husband there is absolutely, positively NO WAY I can do that during a work day. OUT.OF.THE.QUESTION!

So my question now is, if you have ever been on it, were you supposed to do it twice a day? And if you have ever been on it, did you have similar side effects? Cause holy crap that was bad!

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I want to share a quote with all of you from the Making Babies book I read last week because I know once you read it, you will all say, "Oh yeah, I'm (have been) there." A bit of a side note, this quote is specifically about the luteal phase of the cycle.

"This can be the most anxiety-provoking part of your cycle, waiting to see if your period will com. Once ovulation has passed, the optimistic feelings and excess energy of the follicular phase diminish, and women tend to become pensive and reflective."

Apparently there is a science behind all of our feelings throughout our cycles. You know how once AF comes you feel like you just got punched in the gut but then you get over it and then are excited to try again a few days later? Well, according to this book that is because once AF shows your estrogen starts to build, and estrogen apparently "tends to put you in a positive frame of mind and increase your feelings of well-being." Who knew? So the more it builds, the more positive you feel. Then when you ovulate and it decreases and progesterone takes over, you start to feel a little less hopeful. I found that very interesting.

(Full book review coming up, I swear!)

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In closing, I would like anyone reading this blog to know that there are so many reasons I blog. One of the main reasons is that I like to share the information I have gleaned about infertility through my own battles. My line of thinking is that if I want to know this information, someone else out there does as well, so I put it out there in hopes that it will help someone else on their journey.


This blog is about helping.

If you happen across my blog, please keep that in mind. Also know that any of the blogs listed in my Favorite Blogs side bar are women I consider friends. I read their blogs, and as is the case more often than not, I have had some kind of contact with these women besides just leaving comments to one another. Yes, we do communicate outside of blogland. Occasionally we meet up, or just talk on the phone. So if you should hop from my blog to any of theirs, please, please be nice to them. Realize that they are my friends, and I am fiercely loyal. Please always remember that they are struggling and the last thing they need is added negativity in their lives. By all means, visit them, but show them some love and respect because they deserve nothing less.

Thank you,

What a Wonderful World

Like all of us bloggers, I never knew how blogging could or would change my life all those years ago when I started writing my thoughts out on the Internet for anyone in the world to see. As I look back over my time as a self-proclaimed professional blogger, I am so glad I took that first step and let something so big and so wonderful into my life. I laugh now at the me who used to snigger at people who kept blogs and ignorantly asked, "Why?!" Well my dear, because blogging opens up doors to a bigger, brighter world.

Last weekend my life was twice blessed with talking or meeting blog friends. On Friday night, I finally got to chat with Tammy from Tammy's Journey. The "finally" was because I was forgetful and blonde. Tammy had set up a time to call me, and then I spaced it and missed her call. I felt so bad, but I made up for it by the end of the week when I surprised her and called her. We had a good long chat, and it was so wonderful to hear her voice, to talk to her over the phone about our respective situations, and to provide comfort and support to each other. If its possible, I think she was even sweeter over the phone than she is in blogland.

Then on Saturday, I had the pleasure of meeting with the blogger from Cherish This Baby. (I'm not sure if she wants her name posted, so I won't post it.) Not only did I get to meet her, but her husband and daughter as well. We met up for a little PF Ch.angs, some Godi.va Chocolate, and some great conversation. Once again, meeting this blogger was no disappointment. She was just as sweet and lovely in person as she is on the blogs. The best part is, she heads my way a few times a year, so we have plans to hook up again next time they are in town.


I can't accurately put into words how wonderful it feels to hook up with blog friends. Sure we all get to know each other and love each other over the Internet, but there is something so wonderful about meeting someone in person, or hearing a voice over the phone that just provides such a sense of comfort that we really are not alone in our respective battles to build a family. The connections that are made in those moments are nothing short of incredible. I wouldn't trade it for all the free time in the world.

To my two girls, it was such a pleasure and a blessing to meet/talk with you both this weekend, and I look forward to doing it again soon.

Breathing and Praying

This morning when I got up, it wasn't to the bright red blood I had woken up to the last couple of days, which was a huge relief. However, I held my hope until my day had been underway for a few hours. Thankfully, by the end of the day I did nothing more than spot a little bit. I am breathing a little bit easier tonight, and hoping and praying this isn't going to be a setback. I am a little concerned though because I am still really tender at the repair sight. I pulled my knees up to put slipper socks on my feet before climbing onto the bed to blog, and it was uncomfortable. I just keep trying to tell myself that right now I am only 8+ weeks post-op, and that by the time we are ready to start trying for a baby, most of this discomfort will be gone. I mean, that's still 5 weeks from now, and look at how well I'm doing 8 weeks after the surgery. As Dr. D tells me, there is a reason they want me to wait at least 3 months.

But enough about me. Tonight one of my dearest blog friends needs some serious prayers. If there is anyone out there who has not yet met "Single Infertile Female" I highly recommend you do. This gal is tougher than nails and rock. She has severe endometriosis, is in her mid-20s, and is single. Her doctors told her that because of the seriousness of her endo she has to have a baby now or never, meaning she doesn't have time for Mr. Right to come along.

Ever since I met her, she was saving and scrimping to do IVF on her own with donor sperm. Two weeks ago she finally went through IVF and is waiting for her BFP. She is feeling really discouraged after yet another negative pregnancy test this morning and some spotting. Girls, if anyone needs our love and support right now, its her. Please go over and give her some words of encouragement, or at the very least, please keep her in your heart and prayers tonight and tomorrow. She is one of the most amazing women I've ever met on the blogs, and as I do with so many of you, I want her to be pregnant more than I want me to be pregnant, and that says a lot.

L, I'm thinking of you and praying for you tonight. You are very much in my heart. Sending you all my love.

Blogging IRL

One of my absolute favorite parts about this past weekend was that I got to meet one of my favorite and long time blog friends, Leah, from Life According to Leah. I was more excited to meet her than I was for the appointment. She and I go way back and have shared a very special bond and friendship. I couldn't believe I was going to have the opportunity to meet her.

The second we met, it was like I was greeting an old friend. We talked the entire time we were together. We never ran out of things to say. I loved every second of it. I could have kept on talking to her for ages. She was every bit as wonderful as I knew she would be. I have to admit, she is part of the reason I wanted to have the surgery done at Mayo. I loved the idea of spending more time with her, and getting the opportunity to meet Tammy, since we didn't get to meet up this weekend. Tammy was off meeting her new adopted embies instead! (Tammy, I think you're pregnant! Just for the record.) I was really bummed when I found out Mayo is out of network.

Jill, in response to your comment, my out of pocket for out of network is only $3500, but once you add in travel, hotel, transportation, and food, the bill sky rockets to a gobsmacking $5-6k. Dr. Jensen said I would be in the hospital for 2-3 days, and then she would want us to stick around for a week after that just to ensure everything was going well. I just can't justify that cost when I can get it done here for less than 1/3 of the cost by a doctor who is equally as qualified. :( Its a total bummer.

I called my RE here and told him what the doctors at Mayo had said. Not about him being crazy overly conservative, but about how I had the opportunity to meet with a high risk OB and his thoughts on a pregnancy. He seemed to take it the way I intended, which was to give him information he didn't already have and in a very positive way. I did my dangdest to keep things very positive because I know I need him for this surgery. I could go to another doctor, but honestly, I'm tired of telling my story to doctors. I'm ready to get the ball rolling, and this guy has a history of surgeries similar to mine.

Toward the end of the phone call, Dr. D wished me the best with my surgery at Mayo. I told him that I actually wanted him to do it, if he was willing to. I stopped myself short of saying Mayo was out of network. :D He seemed really excited and surprised. He said he was definitely up for doing it for me. I figure leaving the Mayo part out would be an ego boost, and am hoping it means he'll do an even better job because I picked him over them. ;) ;) I intend to tell him that Dr. Jensen thought that he might be more qualified in this situation anyway (she really did).

In closing, I wanted to share a little about Baby Bean this weekend. The little doll is starting to pick up words! This weekend she learned how to say "more please" and she even signs it while she says it. She also says, "Mine!" "Night, night" and "Bye bye." In addition to that, if you ask her what a dog says, sometimes she will say, "Woof! Woof!"

She handled the whole weekend like a champ. She slept a little on both flights, and because she has tubes in her ears, she never had pressure build up. She didn't mind waking up at 6:00 a.m. on Friday morning, and was a perfect angel the whole weekend. We had sooo many comments about how adorable she is, how well behaved she is, and what a happy baby she is. *being modest* I know, she really is great, isn't she? Her mama sure does love her. Here are a couple of cute pictures I got of her this weekend, including a little video of her on the plane just after takeoff.

At the hotel - My best friend who offered to surrogate made this dress for Baby Bean's 1st birthday

On the way back to the airport

Behind

Dear bloggy friends, I am sorry, but I am so terribly behind on blogs and I will not be able to catch up. I feel really badly about it, and I feel like I am missing being a part of your lives. Reading your blogs is my sanity. I love following along with your stories, and being a part of them through comments.

My life has taken a turn for the crazy at the moment. Work has seriously caught up with me and I have so many deadlines right now, my head is spinning. My parents are coming into town this weekend for Baby Bean's 1st Birthday bash, which means tons of things to do around the house, in addition to breathing treatments, preparing for the party, and every day crazy life. The week after that will be her real 1st birthday, she gets tubes the next day, and I get my IUD out the day after that. The weekend after that my little brother will be here. So as you can see, my life is all kinds of chaos.

I take time to update my blog for my family and friends and all of my blog friends, but I feel really bad that I am unable to be there for all of you right now. Know that I will read and comment when time allows. I am not abandoning any of you.

Thank you for your patience during this crazy time. Things will eventually calm down, and I will be back in full force!

We're Home!

I just wanted to write up a quick post to let you all know that I have been gone since 11:00 p.m. Wednesday night with no access to the internet. However, while Hubs was snoring me out at 4:30 am in our hotel room last night, I decided to check up on blogs using my phone. For whatever reason, it is impossible to leave comments via my phone, so I was able to catch up with all of you, but not leave comments.

First of all... CONGRATS TO JOURNEY GIRL!!!!! JG just went to Thailand for a donor egg cycle that proved successful. If you want to congratulate her, which I highly recommend, please visit her blog here. Not being able to leave a comment on this blog all weekend was killing me! I was so stinking excited for her but couldn't tell her congrats. So here is a BIG shout out to Journey Girl, Journey Man, and Journey Dog!

I also want to congratulate Al, who also recently got (tentatively) pregnant after a long, tough road. She is still early in her pregnancy, so please go wish her some baby sticking wishes here.

I will update everyone on my Christmas vacation tomorrow. I need to get all of my ducks in a row first, but know that there is a little surprise coming. :) I will try to catch up on blogs tonight and then update mine later.

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas! We sure did!

What a Wonderful Friday

Friday was seriously wonderful. The day started out great. Baby Bean made it to daycare and didn't pitch a fit when I dropped her off. (We found out Wednesday she has a double ear infection.) Her antibiotics and decongestants were working. The plan for work that day was to have our holiday lunch (in lieu of a big Christmas party to save money) and then let our coworkers know who we all had for Secret Santa. Yeah, it was pretty hard to buckle down and work.

At 11:00 it came time for the award part of the holiday party. I found my BF, A (who takes Baby Bean's pictures), and we went to the party together. They issued the annual awards for the top performers, and in between each category they gave out door prizes. The first set of prizes were $25 gift cards, free lunches with senior staff, and free vacation days. The second round offered $50 gift cards along with the lunches and vacation days. The third round offered the Big Daddy Prizes.

I am no longer allowed to think, "They won't call my name. I never win anything," which is exactly what I was thinking when they held up the Nik.on Co.olpix S320 camera.


The next thing I knew, my name was being called and all of my teammates and friends were cheering and clapping wildly. It took me a second to realize I was supposed to go up and claim the certificate for the camera.

The funny thing is I won $100 in gift cards at last year's Christmas party, and an iP.od at the one before that. So nope, no longer allowed to think I don't win, especially with the odds of wining at this company.

After lunch, the unveiling of the Secret Santas began. The woman who had me did an excellent job with all of her gifts during the week. Fuzzy purple socks and a bag of Re.eses Bells. My final present was a pair of pink pajamas with elephants on them for Baby Bean. They are so stinking adorable! I really felt like a winner.

But the biggest surprise was yet to come.

I got home from work that night and walked up to the front door. My arms were full of baby, a diaper bag, my purse, the mail, and gifts from work. There was a box sitting next to the front door. I figured it was for Hubs because he has been ordering all of my presents off the Internet. I went inside, set down the baby and everything else and went back out to get the box. I was surprised when I saw Baby Bean's name on it. I figured it was from one of the grandma's. I flipped the box over and saw it was from Heather, from Heather's Daily Life. The present had come all of the way from Australia from a very dear blogger friend just for my baby!

I couldn't wait to get it inside and open it. When I did I giggled with delight and squealed as I pulled out a stuffed wombat and then the cutest little outfit.



I was so excited and completely touched. My first instinct was to call Heather to thank her, and then I realized I couldn't. I thought I would just go see her and give her a hug then and tell her thank you in person, and then I realized I couldn't do that either. So I called my dad who had lived in Australia a long time ago and told him about it, then sat down and wrote Heather an email thanking her for her sweet gift. It was by far my most favorite part of the day.

Baby Bean loves the wombat, who is named "Russell." It says so on his tag. I can't wait until she is big enough to wear the outfit. I am definitely going to take pictures and post them on the blog when she is.

Heather, I know I've already thanked you twice, but thank you again from the bottom of my heart. You are so sweet and caring, and a very loving woman. I am so blessed to have you in my life. I hope you enjoy the Christmas card once it gets there. It pales in comparison to the sweet things you sent me. lol

Why Do I Blog?

This morning as I was getting ready for work I was thinking about my blog. There have been many times I've thought about quitting and taking it down. Every time I do, I ask myself why I do it in the first place. The answers are always simple.

In no particular order, the reasons I blog:

1. My family is usually the first reason that comes to my head when I ask myself why I keep going. We live hundreds and thousands of miles away from our families. This blog is a way for them to keep up with us and know what is going on in our lives when we can't talk every day or see each other very often. As much as I know it can pain my infertile friends, I post lots of pictures and the occasional video of Baby Bean for the grandparents and my siblings. I feel so torn because I want the pictures out there for the fam, but I don't want my infertile blog friends to feel like I am flaunting. If I post lots of pictures and it is painful for you, feel free to opt out of the post. It won't hurt my feelings. I've been there, and I understand.
2. It is therapeutic. This blog was originally created as an outlet for me and as a journal of sorts to talk about my world with infertility. Here I could keep track of my thoughts and feelings as I went through the process. I started it all on a different blog, and then moved it over here after my lap, so occasionally my readers will see a blog post from my previous blog. The reasons for that are twofold: 1) I want all of my infertility adventure posts in one place; and 2) They just might help someone else who is struggling by either giving them hope or information they did not already have. It feels good to write about my thoughts and feelings, and provides me with an outlet where I can mull them over somewhere other than my head.
3. I can provide support. When I started undergoing infertility I was going it alone. I didn't know anyone else who was suffering from it, but I knew there were other couples out there who were. I chose to use my experience to help uplift and educate others, to show them that they were not alone. I decided that instead of being hurt by infertility, I would use my experiences for something positive. In going through my own battle, I hope my words have provided support and love to those who are struggling. I can also empathize with the struggle of others, so most of the time I know what not to say, and can hopefully provide encouragement.
4. Blog friends. I have "met" some incredible people through my blog. Getting comments from blog friends really brightens my day. I love that we are all here for each other through thick and thin. I love being there for all of you and providing you with words that I hope are meaningful to you. Each comment I leave is very heartfelt and is never a canned response. It is my way of providing all of you with a hug no matter the circumstance. Sometimes I have no words for what you're going through, but my heart and my thoughts are always with all of you, and I mean that. I am constantly sending all of you well wishes and praying for you. You're a great group of women who are all very strong and caring.
5. My battle isn't done. There will come a day (in less than 4 months) where I will be back in the Baby Making Rink, and I will have moments where I will need all of you as much as you sometimes need me. I will be the one who needs to be lifted up, who needs the words of encouragement, and the hug a comment can provide. I try not to think about this one too much, as I haven't yet reached that bridge, but it is always in the back of my mind.

In short, it helps me keep in touch and helps me stay sane. With a list like that, I think I will be around for a while.

For Leah and Taher

For those of you who have not yet visited the fabulous Leah's blog of Life According to Leah, I highly recommend you do so. Leah and her husband, Taher, are in the process of adopting internationally after two unsuccessful rounds of IVF. While we do not know each other IRL, we have become friends via our blogs as well as email. I feel like we have made a real connection with each other. At one point, I seriously considered being an egg donor for her, until my sister reminded me that I have endometriosis and am classified as an infertile and no one would take my eggs. Oh yeah.

Since I could not give her my eggs, and she issued the call for friends and family to donate items she could raffle off on her blog in an attempt to raise money for her adoption, I answered. Today I got to spend the morning with a good friend of mine doing what we like to do best together: paint ceramics at our local Co.lor.Me.Mi.ne. I painted what I hope is a lovely vase for her cause. I have one almost just like it that I did for myself a few months back, and it has had nothing but praise filled with "oohs" and "ahhhs". Since apparently so many people liked it, I made a replica for Leah to raffle off. Below are a few pictures of the item pre-firing. Once it is fired, the colors will be very dark and vibrant, and the piece will shine.

Here is the piece "in the nude", or in its bisque state.

It has good shape and form. Perfect for raffling.

First, I drew out my basic pattern with a marker that will disappear during the firing phase.

I painted the bottom a very deep, beautiful blue.

I then painted over my patern with a chocolate brown.

Next, I began painting the first of three colors for the flowers.

(You can see my fabulous friend in the background to the right. We shared all sorts of gossip.)

The flowers have all been painted, and the vase is almost all ready for firing.

It just needs one final touch....

A reminder to the winner that they helped Leah and Taher adopt!

I can't wait to see it and post pictures of the piece once it has been fired. The colors will look totally different.

I hope you like it Leah. I thoroughly enjoyed painting the vase for you and the joy that it brought me in being able to spend time with my friend.

What I've Learned

I have to say that while trying to keep up with ICLW has lead to me sitting awake until 2:00 a.m. reading blogs and leaving comments like an obsessed person, I am thoroughly enjoying the experience because it has brought to my attention so many amazing women and men who are fighting the same war as me. It has been worth the lack of sleep. :)

When I started on my infertility journey, I was alone. I didn't know one other person who was going through what I was. In fact, I lived in a state that had one of the constantly highest birth rates in the country. I was surrounded by pregnant women everywhere. I honestly felt alone. I dreaded going in for each and every single appointment because my doctor was also an OB/GYN with an unsegregated waiting room, which meant I got to sit with all of the pregnant 19- and 20-year-old bitties who complained unmercifully about their pregnancies. They always took for granted that because they were there for a pregnancy, every other woman of child bearing age in that waiting room was either there because they were also pregnant, or was there for an annual pap. I can't count the number of times it took all of my will power to not jump over rows of chairs to strangle an ungrateful pregnant girl, or the number of times I tried so hard to focus on the work I had brought with me so as not to cry as I helplessly listened to complaint after complaint from an expectant mother. Too numerous were the times that I was barely able to contain my tears until the door to the exam room was shut when they would stream warm and relentlessly down my cheeks.

Then one day, I started a blog. In the beginning it was just as a joke. I had no intention of keeping it going for more than a week or so. A couple of months in, I realized I could use it as an information outlet and a journal of my journey through infertility. After a few months, I moved it over here where I had more freedom with the layout. I didn't know then that I was about to meet so many women who were fighting their own battles with infertility. I had no idea my support group was coming around the corner.

Here I am, almost two years later, and I am just now getting really involved in the Infertility/Loss/Adoption group. I've been involved with a few blogs, but not like I will be able to now that I have joined ICLW. What an amazing support all of you are. Over the past few days I have read about so many of your journeys through infertility. They are all so different, so individual, yet all the same. Some of us have been through a lot more than others, but we all want the same thing: to be parents, and we all want it more than anything.

I am so glad that I have been afforded this opportunity to meet all of you. I only wish I had jumped on the band wagon sooner. You are all incredible, strong women, and your stories are uplifting. Thank you for taking time to stop by and say hello these past few days and leave such heartfelt comments. I wish you all the best in your own journeys.

Blog Lags

Okay, so I've been meaning to write this post for some time, but I either forget that I wanted to write about it when I sit down to post (or when I want to blog but can't think of anything to post), or I have something on my mind that I want to write about instead.

I just want to say I am sorry to all of my bloggy friends for my long absences lately. You have not been forgotten, and I have not lost my interest in blogging or in keeping up with any of you. I realize I became "lax" shortly after moving 5 months ago, but you have to realize there is a correlation there. For the first time in years I am not bored with my life. I have either been crazy busy, or my sweetie wants to spend some much needed "us" time cuddling on the couch or going out. The latter is more often the case the past few months.

When we first moved here, it was very much the first reason, what with moving into temporary housing for 30 days while trying to find a house, and then moving into and updating our new older house. During those months I felt like our marriage was really lacking some cuddle time, but neither of us was much in the mood or had time. Let's not forget that Sadie was added to the mix 10 weeks ago and requires loads of doggie attention, which makes Maggie jealous and require lots more doggie attention than Sades.

Then I finally got pregnant! Something we had been trying and praying for for years. All of a sudden we wanted to be constantly touching and cuddling and spending time together. For the first time since we moved, our previously shortened fuses reverted back to their longer selves. Things were suddenly like they were before the move, only with a bit more craziness added to the mix.

Lately when I blog, my sweetie gets jealous and pouts because he really wants to snug. As a result, I have had to limit my blogging to a few nights a week. During those brief moments online I have to pick and choose whose blogs I will read and if I will update mine, as I don't always have enough time to catch up with everyone and update. I usually choose to update first because it is a way for my family to keep up with us, and then I read a handful of blogs from my favorite blogs list, making sure to catch up with everyone at least once a week.

I am sure that all of you completely understand how life gets, and that sometimes our blogs have to come second (or third or fourth) to other events in our lives, but I wanted you all to know that none of you are forgotten, and I think about each of you often throughout the days. You are all very special and important to me and I value each and every friendship I have made through this wonderful community. So please be patient with me and my lags when it comes to comments. I do read up, I just don't always have time to read, write, and comment. Rest assured, I do it as often as I can because I want you all to know how much I care about you and I want to be there for you like you are for me.

Homesick Update

First of all, I just want to say thank you to everyone who left comments on my last post. They all meant a lot to me over the past few days. I am so glad that I have such wonderful, thoughtful friends who, even though you don't know me outside of blogland, care about me that much. I have to say, the feelings are definitely mutual. I have really come to love and appreciate all of my blog friends. I completely enjoy being able to share and enjoy your lives as much as being able to share mine.

Today I had the most wonderful surprise that just totally made my day: I got a call from my lovely friend Liz from Pretty Practicals! She sent me the most heart-felt, heart-warming email this past weekend and offered to allow me to call her all the way across the pond in Merry Old England. I emailed her back an update on how I was feeling lately (since I haven't had a chance to post the last few days), and sent her my digits back. About 20 minutes later, I got a phone call from Liz and her beautiful British accent. What a way to make a girl's day! I wish you wonderful luck at your show this week Liz. I hope you sell your socks off.

Now for a much needed update. The day after I posted my last blog I went into work and made my first new friend! She is such a sweet, charismatic girl who not only turns out to be my age, but we both grew up in the same area, went to the same university, and started working at our new jobs a week apart. Somehow we have never met, even though it sounds as though our paths should have crossed hundreds of times over the years. What a small world! I have to try really hard not to go talk to her all day so that she can get things done. We have our first buddy lunch tomorrow.

The same day I made my new friend, I also started to make connections with the other people on my team at work. I don't know if my supervisor said something to one of them, or if they decided they wanted to make an effort on their own, but they invited me to spend the day with them in the lab while they constructed their latest project in anticipation of its being inspected by ECL (the equivalent of UL). I got to know each of them better that day, and felt like I was really starting to fit in.

Then this past weekend I got to go shopping for some much needed new clothes. What girl doesn't perk up when she gets to go shopping?! I finally found myself some tops that I like and a couple pair of sandals. After we were done shopping, we took Mags to the park and went for a walk and threw the ball for the pooch. We also went floor shopping for our new house and picked out our new hardwood floors. We're both really stoked about that. We've been keeping pretty busy the last few days, and when we weren't busy we were just spending some much needed time together. We had a lot of snuggling time to catch up on.

This week is going to be really exciting for us, since we close on our house on Thursday, we get to pick up our hardwood floors (which Hubs gets to install :D), we'll have our house painted from top to bottom, and we finally get to move out of this apartment! There is one other bit of exciting news, but I have to wait a bit to share that.

Again, thank you to all of my friends for all of your sweet comments. They helped me get through the rough patch last week. As you can see, I am back to feeling totally excited about life again. :D

Homesick and Hormonal

Last night while I was blogging it finally hit me: I am officially homesick. I thought that perhaps it was just a hormone surge since my unwanted visitor is due today (she showed up right on time!), but when I woke up today still feeling completely blue, homesick, and lonely, I realized it wasn't hormonal at all.

I really miss my family, and I miss my friends, and I miss my mountains. While I do really like it here, I am really starting to miss everything I knew for the last almost 30 years of my life. The only time I didn't live in that state was for two years when I went away to junior college.

I began to notice the other day at work that I was feeling a little down for no apparent reason. This sadness was compounded by the fact that I don't have a friend to go talk to about it, a friend to make me feel better. I was 100% completely alone with my blues. So I sat at my desk and tried to get through it the best I could, while trying to perk myself up with a cup of hot chocolate, thinking about my new house, and the potential to go shopping for new work clothes this weekend. It must have worked, because I don't remember feeling blue when I left work. I did still feel lonely though. That feeling has yet to go away.

Yes, I do have my sweetie and my pooch, but neither of them are around during the 9+ hours a day while I'm at work. My sweetie tried to remind me last night that I had him and Mags. I told him that I was sure he didn't want to talk about "girlie crap" to which he replied, "Yeah, you need to make friends." I honestly wanted to cry. Right now the closest friends I have are my friends in blogland. You all warm my heart with your comments, support, love, and good news of your own.

Today I actually broke down and cried because I miss home. I tried so hard to not think about it at work, but I failed. When I returned to work after lunch, I sat and cried at my computer while my dad and I texted back and forth. At 3:00 my new supervisor pulled me into his office to ask me how things were going. I started crying again and told him I was homesick. Since he is a transplant himself (as are 90% of the people in the office), he completely understood how I felt and talked to me about it until I felt better. I am going to ask him tomorrow morning if it is okay if I show up a little late to work on Monday in two weeks so I can go home for the weekend before.

I know that this will eventually pass, and that I will eventually feel like this is my home now. I just have to make it past this little hurdle. I hope it won't last long, but I never can tell. I was homesick the whole last two years of my college career. lol

Thank You For Your Support

Wow! I don't think I've ever had a post with 11 comments before! Than you so much for all of your well wishes, kind thoughts, and support. Its always so fun to be excited, but its even more fun to have such wonderful people be excited with you. You are all truly wonderful women and I am so glad to know all of you. I have made some really wonderful friends in the few short months that I have been blogging on this site. It has been so neat to be able to not only share in your exitements, but for you all to be able to share in mine as well. There is just nothing like being exited for a friend.

My little brother came down and spent the weekend with us this past weekend, so out of respect for him, I didn't get online while he was here. Hence the reasons comments were not approved before today (I have decided to turn the moderation feature off today). I thought I should spend my time with him, since he came down at my request. It was the only thing I wanted from him for my birthday. The only time I spent on the computer was while I was trying to pull together my writing samples so I could submit them to my prospective employer (I had to track down the CDs from my previous job and find specific samples from about a dozen CDs). I didn't even get them sent off yet, but hopefully I will tonight.

Thank you again for all of your friendship. It really means a lot to me. Hugs!

Belated Happy New Year!

I can see now by everyone else's posts that my own Happy New Year blog is a little belated. I do have some really good reasons why it wasn't up yesterday, but I won't write about them now.

I just want to say thank you again to all of my blog friends. I wish you all the very best for the new year and hope that it provides you with everything you desire. I have sincerely appreciated each friendship I have made over the last month. I am a firm believer that God knows what he's doing when he puts people in our paths. I think everything happens for a reason, and I feel I found all of you (or you found me) for a reason. You have all been a bit of sun on a cloudy day.

I especially want to thank Kami because she was my inspiration for blogging on this site. If it hadn't been for her, I wouldn't be here. Her blog inspired me in so many ways. Kami, I sincerely hope that your one true desire is fulfilled this year. You are a truly deserving individual full of love and strength.

All my love to all of my friends and best wishes. Here's to a new year!