You know, I think I am finally back at a good place in my life. At least, I'm getting there for the first time since last February when my world was rocked with the possibility of not being able to have any more children. Since we were able to start TTC again in August, I have come full swing with trying to have another baby ruling my existence to honestly not caring if I don't have another one because I thank God every morning I am greeted by the most precious, sweet, little face I have ever seen.
If I had even a penny for each time I have thanked God for my Baby Bean just over the last week alone, I wouldn't need to work anymore. This whole TTC thing and my false positive pregnancy test have thrown things back into perspective, and I have to say, I am grateful. So incredibly grateful. Sometimes I just need that reminder to not take what I have for granted.
This right here is what my world revolves around.
I look at that face, hear that sweet little voice and see that precious smile, and nothing else matters. The most beautiful thing I have ever heard in my life is, "I love you mama."
Since last week, I have been a lot more cognizant of the quality and quantity of time I spend with my daughter. I have been making even more of every moment. As I have said before, I don't want my struggle with infertility to rob her, and I am working so hard to ensure that never happens. Every night before she goes to bed, we sit in the rocking chair in her room and read a bed time story. I even do the voices because that is what makes a good story great. Once I say, "The End" she climbs down from my lap and clambers into bed. One night last week she patted the bed next to her and said, "C'mon mama." Now I know cribs turned toddler bed are not meant to hold the weight of an adult, but in this case, I am willing to take my chances. I curled up into bed next to my baby, and we sat there, staring into each other's eyes, smiling. Baby Bean then handed me her Peter Rabbit and instructed me on how to hold him while I suck my thumb just like she does. Since that night, I climb into bed next to her every night, and we talk while I hold Peter and she holds her puppy, and we smile, look up at the stars on her ceiling, and talk about her day. It is the best part of my day.
Over the weekend, Hubs and I took Baby Bean to a Renaissance fair, along with one of my BFFs and her two nephews. As is the tradition, we all dressed up. To tickle the grandparents pink, here are a buttload of pictures from the day.
Riding the lama. Lama, lama, lama...
Running around with dad and petting Mother Goose.
My little princess
One tired sweat pea (after 7 hours at the faire)
And for everyone else's viewing pleasure, some pictures of me and the best friend I always dreamed of having:
She became buxom and I became... a fat dude? And the Sheriff? He LOVED my bestie.
And this picture makes me laugh my butt off. Seriously.
What the crap?! What are my dogs doing? ROFLMAO!
And one last picture of Baby Bean helping set up The Hick Pool.
Friends, I am so content with life right now. I am glad it didn't take me any longer than it did to get back to this place. My only regret is that it took this long, and that I still feel sad sometimes that things don't always go the way I would like. But then I remember just how great my life really is, and the things I want and don't have just aren't important anymore. I mean, does it get any better than having your 2-year-old sass you by saying "I just don't care" when you tell her why you don't want her to do something? (ROFL!)
Before I sign off, I have to share a story everyone seems to love to hear. I have to document it for posterity. About a month ago I was at C.VS with BB getting a prescription filled. I had her in one of those carts that has a little car on the front. We were going down a small isle where a worker was restocking a shelf. BB honked the car horn and said, "Move it stupid people!" The guy turned to me and said, "Someone has road rage." I replied, "Yeah, I hoped you didn't hear that." We both sat there and laughed. Ahhh my little monkey. Thank God for my sweet blessing and the joy she brings into my life.
