Our Journey Through Infertility

This is my story of infertility

In October of 2006, I set foot in the infertility clinic for the first time. I sat in the waiting room alone, completely naive to the infertile nightmare my life was about to become. Completely oblivious and innocent to the war that was being waged against me on the other side of the door to the exam rooms. I had no idea the reason behind my very existence was about to be called into question.

Sweet, innocent girl that I was thought all I needed was a dose or two of chlomid and I would be pregnant by Christmas. I envisioned giving everyone the news on Christmas day of that year. If only I had known....

That day was the beginning of an almost 2 year battle that tested my marriage, my relationships, my ability to trust my instinct, my purpose in life, and my very metal. I knew that day that I had two choices, if my battle was harder and longer than I anticipated, I could either shrivel up and let it taint everything in my world, or I could use what I was about to go through to become a better person and help educate others. I chose the latter. I also chose to never feel bad for myself no matter what happened. I would always be open and honest about our journey, and I would always accept the support of family and friends.

We did it all, except IVF. Chlomid alone, chlomid with injetibles, injectibles with IUI, and finally I had a laparoscopy. Given the choice between a $2k surgery or a $13k round of IVF, I felt my options were a no-brainer. It was during my lap that I was positively diagnosed with extensive and moderate endometriosis, PCOS, and a septated uterus. During that 3-hour surgery my endo was resected, my ovaries drilled, my septum removed, and my appendix removed. What is normally an out-patient procedure became an in-patient procedure, and my 2-day recovery turned into a 6-week recovery.

A few months after that surgery, my husband and I relocated to Texas with my current employer. During the 7 months after my surgery, we only really tried to get pregnant once, and seven was our lucky number.

The day I visited my OB in Texas for the first time to pick up treatments again, she asked me three times to take a pregnancy test before I finally relented. I will never forget that day because my doctor came back into the room after I peed in the cup and told me I was pregnant. Nine beautiful months later, my darling girl, Baby Bean, was born. It was one of the best days of my life, and one that started our infertility off in a completely new direction.

The day my daughter was born we learned that her placenta had grown through a weakened spot in my uterus created by the removal of my septum . It had grown all the way through my uterus (aka - placental ablation) and was about to breach the outside wall. Luckily I had been told by the doctor who removed my septum that I would need to have a c-section if I ever got pregnant, just to be safe. When my doctor tried to pull the placenta free, it ruptured my uterus.

After 6 weeks on pins and needles, we were told we would be able to have more children, but that future pregnancies would be high risk, and that we had to wait at least a year. Six months after my daughter was born, I had an IUD placed to prevent pregnancy while we allowed the rupture time to heal.

On February 4, 2010, I had the IUD removed. On February 19, 2010 I had a sonogram that revealed the rupture had not healed the way we would have liked and had left a weak spot behind that could cause serious complications during a pregnancy, such as another rupture that could cost my baby its life. We were then referred to an RE for surgery to repair the weak spot.

Our first RE painted us a very bleak picture in which he told us pregnancy even after repairing the weak spot could result in an early baby, which could also result in a blind or retarded child, IF the child lived. It could also cost me my life. He convinced me that if I went through a pregnancy I would end up with a hysterectomy. Told me I would be in the hospital from 24 weeks pregnant until the end just to ensure I was in medical hands as soon as possible, should a rupture occur. He told us the chances of those things happening were very high, and told us to consider not having any more children, and to consider surrogacy.

Not willing to take what he said sitting down, we sought a second opinion with the doctor's at the Mayo clinic on April 9th. It turned out to be money well spent. We had three doctors, two of which were REs and one of which was a high risk OB, who told us our RE in Texas was being extremely over conservative and that there was no reason we couldn't go on to have many more children. They also told us that the risks our RE gave us had small chances of occurring, as in 1-7% or even .09% as opposed to the 50-95% chance we had been previously quoted.

On May 28th, 2010 I underwent a metroplasty with saline repair of the uterus. My RE cleaned up any and all endo he found, which this time was minimal, and ensured there was a good relationship between my ovaires and tubes, as well as checked to ensure my tubes were clear. After the surgery he told me the weak spot was "an impressive defect" and more extensive than he had originally thought, but that it worked in our favor, as he was able to find and stitch all three layers of the uterus together, ensuring a good bond between the two sides and increasing our chances of a full-term pregnancy.

We have been told by a high risk OB here in Texas that the most likely scenario for a future pregnancy is that I will go full term and deliver anywhere between 37-39 weeks, depending on when contractions begin. I will not be allowed to labor, which is perfectly fine with me.

The repair healed better than anyone could have hoped, and we were given a huge green light from our RE to start TTC again. In August 2010, we were officially back in the saddle.

Our first month was a disappointing BFN, and then the next three months were fraught with eratic spotting during the TWW. In December I visited the RE to see if we could determine the cause of the spotting. It was discovered then that I was not producing enough estrogen to create a thick enough uterine lining to support a pregnancy. I found myself once again back in the disappointing ranks of infertility while sporting double estrogen patches.

I am learning to deal with the hand life has dealt me with grace and a positive attitude. I refuse to let my infertility beat me or destroy my dreams of having multiple children. I am determined to give this my all and fight for the one thing I want above anything else in this life: children.