Fantastic News!

I put in a call to my RE this morning to ask him about the early ovulation, as well as the fact that my girls have been majorly sore since the day after my positive OPK, and the fact that I have been cramping a bit since then too. I just wanted to make sure everything was normal and on track for a BFP.

He called me back this evening around 5:30, no doubt at the end of his work day, and delivered some great news. He first told me that the early ovulation wasn't a big deal. The egg was obviously ready to go and it knew it, so it went. I did also read somewhere on Dr. Google that early ovulation is a sign of good health and that the egg will be of better quality than a CD19 egg. I remember my last RE saying something to the same effect all those years ago. Apparently the healthier you are and the better you are eating and taking care of yourself, the earlier you will ovulate (not sure if that is true). It must be the fact that I started taking prenatals about a month and a half ago and have been downing avocados like no one's business. :)

I then asked about the breast tenderness, told him that they usually don't get sore until a week before AF, and that even when they do, the soreness builds up over the span of a week. They don't just get really sore overnight, which is what they did this time. He said that is a sign that there is lots of estrogen this cycle. That it isn't uncommon for breast tenderness after ovulation when estrogen is in abundance.

Then I told him about the cramping and asked if that would hinder implantation. He said that is also due to abudance of estrogen, and that it wouldn't interfere with implantation. I asked if abundance of estrogen was a good thing, and he said yes, it definitely was. He said the fact that my chest is tender the day after a positive OPK is a sign that the egg was high quality.

*insert happy, happy dance!*

So all in all, it sounds like I had a highly fertile cycle and things are definitely in our favor.

Have I mentioned that I love my blog? Today it was because I was able to go back to when Baby Bean was conceived and determine how many days past the positive OPK that I exhibited my first pregnancy symptoms. Seven days. Just like this with cycle, I got my positive OPK on a Friday, we did the BD, and the next Friday I had a major dizzy spell accompanied by a taste of spearmint in my mouth (I hadn't had anything spearmint that day) that came on all of a sudden and lasted throughout the weekend. So it is possible that if I am pregnant right now, I could know as soon as this weekend by symptoms alone. I know that from my pregnancy with Baby Bean I wouldn't get a BFP this weekend even if I have symptoms though because I was three days past my missed period when I tested with her, and the test was faint at that time, which means I probably won't be able to test until the end of next week.

I am just going to keep right on thinking there is a bun in the oven, but that is because I really think there is. :) Time will tell!

In the TWW

Holy crap. I can't believe I am in the TWW! Not only because I have waited for so long to be in a TWW, but because I wasn't supposed to be here until after Tuesday. If you missed my last post, I ovulated 4 days early. It was only by sheer luck that I caught it when I decided to do an OPK at the last minute on Friday. I had decided against it during the day at work, but then changed my mind that night because I thought it would be fun to watch the LH surge happen from CD15 to 19.

Has anyone else out there in blogland ever ovulated early? I mean, I have always been a CD19 girl. I have NEVER ovulated early. Later, sure, but not early. So now I am wondering how or why this could happen. I have to be honest and say it kind of worries me a tad. We're talking 4 days early here. Well, maybe just 3 since, as I said in my last post, the exact day of CD1 was a bit confusing and I had decided to go with the later date. Either way, ovulation was early.

Oh, and talking about cycle weirdness, my girls are already sore. No, I don't think it means I'm pregnant. Hello, my embie is only a few cells right now and its still in the fallopian tube. So what is the soreness all about? I usually don't get that until a week before AF shows. I'm not talking a little bit sore either, I'm talking the over-the-should-boulder-holder comes off, gravity kicks in, and I feel it. So I will have to say there is a bit of concern there too. I keep telling myself that LPs don't get shorter. They always stay the same. So I will have my usual 12-day LP. But you have to admit, this is a little weird.

There are some other things going on with me that will make it hard for me to diagnose pregnancy symptoms over the next couple of weeks too, so I won't be able to trust anything short of positive pregnancy test, which sucks. The cool thing is I got five free pg tests from the site I ordered my pre-seed from, so those combined with the three I already have, give me eight tests. I can start testing as early as this coming Friday and do one every day for the next eight days if I want or need to.

Despite the earliness of ovulation, I still feel good about this cycle. I keep thinking I'm pregnant, but that could just be because that has been my "plan" for the last six months. I honestly think there is a bun in the oven though.

I just hope that my intuition is right. How can it not be when it was completely by chance that I happened to take a test on the last minute on Friday that showed up positive? Had I not done that, I would have thought I didn't ovulate this cycle and would have been calling the RE for an appointment, assuming of course I didn't figure out on my own that I was pregnant when AF failed to show up, since our battle plan already included BDing starting on Saturday. I have always been a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, and there has to be a reason I took that OPK and saw my positive on Friday.

So I guess this is it. I've done absolutely everything I could to put things in our favor. All I can do now is wait. Tick tock baby.

What the...?! Okay!

Okay, so I totally need the Dali Lama chant right now because I am freaking out with excitement and bewilderment. As you can see by the ticker on my blog as of Friday (right now), I have at least four days left until ovulation.

I usually ovulate on CD (cycle day) 19, or at least that is when I normally get my positive OPK. Its been that CD for as long as I have been doing OPKs. That's the day I got my positive OPK during the cycle I got knocked up with Baby Bean. The last two cycles since my surgery it has been CD 20 and CD19.

Well this current cycle is a bit weird and I'm not sure whether I am on CD15 or 16 because of when the red stuff started happening. I decided to go with the later of the two dates and just start doing OPKs on CD15, which would be today. All day long I have gone back and forth between whether or not I wanted to start doing OPKs. It seemed like a waste, since I usually don't get my positive until about four days from now. I had actually decided against it when I got home from work at 3:30 and emptied my bladder. I figured if I wanted to change my mind later in the day, I could, but as it stood, I couldn't hold it and wanted to take a nap.

Hubs and Baby Bean got home early tonight too, at around 5:15. We all laid around on the bed for a bit wrestling, talking, and having fun. At around 6:00 I decided I would do an OPK just for the heck of it. I actually kind of wanted to chart the surge over the next few days to see if the line got darker as the big day drew nearer.

I should have known the second I saw all of the color flooding into the test strip that something was up because the only other time I have seen that was last cycle when I got a big fat positive OPK. But it didn't occur to me. I peed on the stick, put it on the back of the toilet, and walked out of the room. I came back a few minutes later to see if there was even a hint line, and this is what I saw (the top test):

I had to look at it about a million times because I swore my eyes were deceiving me. I NEVER ovulate this early! After a about a minute, I ran down the hall shouting, "We're on tonight baby!" I ran into Hub's office to show him and all he could say was, "Ew! Get your pee stick out of here!" LOL I made him look anyway. Ha! I then told him the test must be wrong. It must be defective. I still have four days to go. Since it was taken at 6:00, I still had two prime hours in which to test again to confirm the result.

At 8:00, I peed on another one. As you can see from the picture above, the first test was right on the money.

HOLY SHNICKIES!!!! IT'S GO TIME!

EARLY!

Whatever, I'll take it. I guess my TWW is going to start sooner than I thought. It also makes me wonder if I am going to ovulate again in four days.

The thing that gets me is I wasn't going to test tonight. I was this close - to not testing. Not only that, but our pre-seed came in the mail today. It came with a "Baby Dust" temporary tattoo, that I put right above my belly button just before going in and taking the first OPK. Doesn't this all seem a little coincidental? If I hadn't tested, I would have missed this window! Well, kind of. I told Hubs we were going to BD in the morning and for each morning the next four days. So I really could have missed the positive OPK, been knocked up, and then been freaking out because I thought I never ovulated.

Holy crap!

It is amazing how things just happen to fall into place sometimes, isn't it? Let's just hope all of this is a good omen. Please God, let it be a good omen.

Keep your fingers crossed for us, and say a little prayer, cause here goes our first TWW in over two years!!! We're finally here folks!

TMI?

I am giggling inside as I write this post, and I have been the last couple of days. Are my last two posts a little TMI? If they are, let me tell you why I decided to post them. I figured that since I was recently looking for all of that information and wanting to find the best tips for TTC success, that there are other women out there who are looking for the same thing. I know that I would appreciate coming across that information on other people's blogs, so I figure I would put it out there on mine.

I realize that for family and friends it may be a little TMI, but if you know me in person, you should not be surprised that I post that kind of information on my blog. I'm not shy about these kinds of things. How else can I help educate people if I keep everything to myself? This is one area I feel like I can help make a difference, so I will.

I promise that the TMI posts are now over and regular blogging will resume this weekend. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't keeping good information to myself. :)

Preparing for Battle!

First off, I want to thank all of you lovely ladies who reminded me about the tricks of the TTC trade. After a comment from Marla reminding me about advice from TCoYF, that I haven't touched in almost 3 years now, I googled taking Robit.ussin while TTC because I had completely forgotten that it could help with CM during ovulation. While on the website, I also rediscovered that evening primrose oil (EPO) helps to increase CM production. Within an hour I was at the store purchasing both. I immediately took 3000 mg of EPO as soon as I got back to work. I took the Robi just before I sat down to blog tonight, and will do that again in the morning. I also got an email today from the website I ordered the pre-seed from, and it supposedly shipped out today, so it should be here tomorrow through Saturday.

I have a battle plan all mapped out, and I feel like I just can't fail. Here is my plan of action:

• Take EPO at 3000 mg daily until I get a positive OPK
• Take Robi twice daily until I get a positive OPK
• Start doing OPKs on Friday
  
• BD with pre-seed at predetermined times
  

I do have one question for all of you. Do you think it is better to BD at night before going to sleep so that everything stays in there, or first thing in the morning when the counts are higher? I already know about hip elevation and planned on doing that. I just can't make up my mind as to whether I think BD should take place at night and in the morning, or just in the morning. Thoughts?

Before I sign off, I thought you all might enjoy a little IF humor. Enjoy!

Save Me Dali!

*WARNING TMI POST IF YOU ARE NOT INFERTILE!!!*

Mom and dad, you may want to skip this one.

I'm not quite sure what happened, but today at work it suddenly occurred to me that I am officially one week away from trying for another baby. One week away from being back into the throes of TTC. I haven't been there in so long, I'm not 100% positive I remember everything I'm supposed to do besides BD (Baby Dance). Okay, that may be a bit of an exaggeration. I mean, we are talking about the woman who started using OPKs the first month her period returned after giving birth just to prove she was still fertile and ovulating.

But all of a sudden my mind has shifted back into baby-making mode. I'm not scared or nervous, per se, but I am really excited and I want to make sure I don't do anything to blow our chances this month.

I think if my work looks into what I googled today alone and the sites I visited, they might call me in for a stern talking to. Okay, that was probably a bit of an exaggeration too. I wasn't looking at anything risque.

It all started with me wanting to make sure I was eating the right foods at the right times. Even though I've looked at the websites a million times over the last few months, I always have to check back just to make sure I remember everything it said correctly, or that I didn't forget something, or that the content on each website didn't change. (You all know it is.)

Avocados are still really good, they still boost fertility. Check! I've been eating them by the truckload (because I love them). Pineapple around implantation time helps the egg implant. Check! I've got a few cans stored up, but plan on buying a fresh one or three to eat the core(s) after ovulation. Nuts help boost fertility. Check! I've got two big bags of almonds and cashews. Fruits and veggies.... fruits and veggies...? I'm not doing so hot there, but I'm trying. Okay, not really. I'll just make up for those with avocados and nuts. I have been taking prenatals the last month or so though, so that should help.

After I had all my foods in order, I started to wonder about *ahem*... lube, and its potential to kill off spermies. So then I started to kind of panic and wonder if we had anything acceptable in the house. It turns out no, no we don't. Yes, I googled sperm-safe lube at work today. It turns out the best stuff you can buy is called pre-seed. It was made for couples who are actively TTC. Supposedly it closely mimics fertile CM, so it helps the spermies by giving them more goo to swim in (just like more CM would), plus it doesn't kill them off. As soon as I got home, I ordered two boxes and had them sent priority mail (1-3 days) to ensure they would be here in time for the Big O next week.

My cabinet is currently stocked with OPKs. I can use two of those babies a day if I want to. I needed to ensure that I had enough of them in stock to prevent a panic attack should I want to do more than one in a day, which isn't uncommon for me, so I have about 13 tests in there.

After a day full of excited googling, ensuring I remembered all of my TTC info, and gearing up for the big day, a girl kind of needs to unwind. Enter mediation with the Dali Lama. My dad gave me a CD last year that has a monk chanting what is called "The Dali Lama Chant." It is so soothing, and it is awesome to meditate to. Within minutes of hearing the chant I can go from freaking out to being completely calm. It is incredible. I have needed the Dali a few times the past week. Not because I'm stressed out, but because I am so excited I can get myself a little too worked up. We are talking about 18 month's worth of anticipation here!

At any rate, I'm as ready as I can be. I feel really good about things, and I am hopeful. That is all I can be at this point. I just need to keep on doing what I'm doing and have faith.

She's Got the Funk

Oh blog friends, I am sorry to say I am going through some personal issues right now and have been dealing with them rather than blogging. I'm neither posting nor reading on a regular basis. Right now, I am just trying to take care of myself so I can take care of my family. I am doing really well at that, but it is a difficult balance, so my family is the only thing I am really focusing on right now. Things will get better soon though.

In other, happier news, my mom came out for a visit this weekend. I wish I could say it was all to visit us, but one of my all-time favorite cousins tied the knot on Friday. My mom came out, as did all of her sisters, and partook in the festivities. My cousin was of course a beautiful bride, glowing and smiling as every girl should be on her wedding day. Her reception was gorgeous, and Baby Bean loved running around, tasting the food and punch, and being a little stink. The funny thing is, my cousin had my exact same wedding dress as me, only with different beading and detail. I told her she had great taste.

Baby Bean loved having grandma around, and grandma loved being around Baby Bean. BB's favorite was to open and close the bathroom door where grandma was getting ready for the day and playing peek-a-boo. I personally loved it at my cousin's reception when BB would run around and say, "Where did grandma go?" Which really comes out sounding more like, "Where da gumma go?"

Today my mom and I went to BRU and bought BB two new dresses for church and to get pictures taken in when my sister and her two girls come out in a few weeks. I also bought her a little outfit I just couldn't resist because it was so stinking adorable. Before we left, I wanted to buy BB a pull-along puppy, so we stopped by the toy section. I made the mistake of letting BB out of the cart to see if she would a push popper toy.

Well, she did. So much so that when I tried to put her and the toy in the cart, she pitched a fit all the way to the checkout. Finally my mom took her out of the cart and let her run around with the popper until I was done checking out. We then let her push it all the way out to the car.

Ensue MAJOR tantrum. She screamed her head off the whole way home because she couldn't push the toy and make the "popcorn pop." Sadly for her, as soon as we got home, she went straight up to bed and down for a nap.

I already hate this toy, and not because of the noise, but because of the tantrums my daughter throws over it. My sweet little happy-go-lucky angle baby actually throws tantrums over this thing. As soon as she got up from her nap and went to play with it, we realized our floors were not conducive to popcorn popping, so Hubs had to rig the wheels with bandage tape to give them traction on our hardwood and tile floors. All I can say is if the screaming over this toy doesn't end, it won't live in our house for very long.

Well, another weekend is gone, and another workweek starts in a few short hours. Here's to hoping it goes quickly, quietly, and painlessly.

Fun-do

Lately one of my best friends has been having a hard time being generally discontented with life. (This is the same best friend who takes Baby Bean's pictures.) She's been quite down, which has been hard for me to see. I always want everyone in my life to be happy, so I feel like it is my duty to help them achieve happiness when I can, especially for someone I care so much about.

Last week my husband and I watched a TV show that named their top 10 places to eat cheese-filled meals, one of which was a fancy fondue restaurant in New York. A light bulb went on over my head as I thought about the unused fondue pot Hubs and I had been given for our wedding. I needed to have a fondue party with my friend! The next day I sent my friend an email, asking her if she was game to come have a fun-filled fondue party. She was completely excited at the idea. For the next few hours we talked about what kind of fondue we would make and what we would dip in it. We couldn't wait.

Saturday finally came around, and just after 4:00 my red-headed BFF graced my doorstep. We packed Baby Bean in the car and went to the store to buy cheese, veggies, fruit, and chocolate. Once home, the cheese melting began. Sadly, we were unable to find one cheese the recipe called for, so we substituted, and we are pretty sure the flavor was no where near what it should have been. It was all right, but it wasn't great. Next time we'll try a different recipe before substituting cheese.

While we waited for the first course of cheese-covered steak, shrimp, crab, pretzels, toasted bread, and celery to settle, we went to visit my best friend who just got back from doing IVF in Turkey. The cycle didn't take. We had invited her to the party, but she opted out. She needed her time to grieve, so we took her flowers and gourmet popcorn (her favorite) and visited with her for a bit. She is doing remarkably well and bouncing back from her disappointment quickly, just as I thought she would. She is gearing up to go back and try again at Christmas time. One thing she kept saying over and over was, "It's the Lord's plan. There has to be a reason." It really sucks knowing that someone I care about in real life so much is going through this.

After we had our chat, Red and I headed home for THE BEST part of the evening. Chocolate fondue with fresh bananas, strawberries, grapes, and apples. Oh.My.Gosh! It was sooooo good! We made it with He.rshey's chocolate, and it was to die for. We both pigged out as we watched the broadway version of Victor/Victoria with Ju.lie An.drews. Between the two of us, we cleaned up almost ALL of the fondue.

During the last part of the evening, I just kept thinking that this is the friendship I always wanted and never had until I met this wonderful woman. It took us 29 years to cross each other's paths, but you'd never know we've only been friends for a couple of years, as opposed to our whole lives. I didn't want the night to end. I have never had such a good girl friendship before. There is never a hint of envy or jealousy between us. We are always so happy for each other when the other is happy, we are sad when the other is sad, we cheer each other on, we boost each other up, we're here for each other no matter what. I've never had that in a girl friend before I moved here, and now I have it in three wonderful women. How blessed am I? I guess God is making up for the first 29 years of my life where I didn't have that.

All I can say is I am so grateful for these three spectacular, wonderful women and the blessing they are in my life. They fill me with such joy, and I love them all so very much. I appreciate the fulfilling relationships I have with each of them. I am blessed for sure.

*Sigh*

I Might Be a LITTLE Excited

I just ran an errand to the bank, and in my excitement, I couldn't help but stop and pick up a pack of these. I smiled the whole way into the store, through the checkout, back to my car, and all of the way back to work.


I'm pretty excited folks! I can't believe it is finally go time! This has been a long time coming. I've done my time, now I'm ready to reap the rewards.

It's Sad, But...

I am so ridiculously excited right now I am nearly bouncing off the walls. Why? Because one of the moments I have been waiting for for the last 12+ months has arrived...

AF IS HERE!!!!

WELCOME AF!!!

Why does this make me so happy? Because I am FINALLY officially back in the game! The gate has been opened, and this horse is ready to run!

*doing happy dance*

Hang on baby, cause here we go!!!

19 days and counting down....

What a Wonderful World

Like all of us bloggers, I never knew how blogging could or would change my life all those years ago when I started writing my thoughts out on the Internet for anyone in the world to see. As I look back over my time as a self-proclaimed professional blogger, I am so glad I took that first step and let something so big and so wonderful into my life. I laugh now at the me who used to snigger at people who kept blogs and ignorantly asked, "Why?!" Well my dear, because blogging opens up doors to a bigger, brighter world.

Last weekend my life was twice blessed with talking or meeting blog friends. On Friday night, I finally got to chat with Tammy from Tammy's Journey. The "finally" was because I was forgetful and blonde. Tammy had set up a time to call me, and then I spaced it and missed her call. I felt so bad, but I made up for it by the end of the week when I surprised her and called her. We had a good long chat, and it was so wonderful to hear her voice, to talk to her over the phone about our respective situations, and to provide comfort and support to each other. If its possible, I think she was even sweeter over the phone than she is in blogland.

Then on Saturday, I had the pleasure of meeting with the blogger from Cherish This Baby. (I'm not sure if she wants her name posted, so I won't post it.) Not only did I get to meet her, but her husband and daughter as well. We met up for a little PF Ch.angs, some Godi.va Chocolate, and some great conversation. Once again, meeting this blogger was no disappointment. She was just as sweet and lovely in person as she is on the blogs. The best part is, she heads my way a few times a year, so we have plans to hook up again next time they are in town.


I can't accurately put into words how wonderful it feels to hook up with blog friends. Sure we all get to know each other and love each other over the Internet, but there is something so wonderful about meeting someone in person, or hearing a voice over the phone that just provides such a sense of comfort that we really are not alone in our respective battles to build a family. The connections that are made in those moments are nothing short of incredible. I wouldn't trade it for all the free time in the world.

To my two girls, it was such a pleasure and a blessing to meet/talk with you both this weekend, and I look forward to doing it again soon.

I am Not My Biggest Fan Today

I don't think I can count the number of times I have started off a blog post by saying I am soooo far behind on blogs. I don't really have an excuse as to why other than that I just haven't been feeling it, and so have allowed myself a bit of time to step away from everything blog. With that said, I am behind. That's all there is to it. Now onto a new post.

Last Friday I woke up happy knowing I was only a week away from AF, and only a few weeks away from trying for a baby. My bubble was burst very early on when I started to get cramps that day. I haven't had cramps since my surgery almost 3 years ago when all of my endo was ablated. It didn't take me but a nano-second to realize exactly why I was cramping. Remember this post just over 3 months ago where I said I was starting to drink caffeine again for the first time in 3 years? I'm pretty sure at some point on this blog I mentioned how stupid of me it was to start drinking it again because it could manifest as endo 3 months down the road.

In the years spanning from my first AF visit to my surgery in 2007, I would get cramps a full week before AF showed up. When she did show up, she would usually come with the kind of cramps that left me curled up in a ball, sobbing, and begging for a swift death. I'm serious. Nothing touched those cramps as far as medication was concerned. I just had to tough it out. It was brutal hell. Just ask anyone who witnessed them.

Well, it has been just over 3 months since I started drinking caffeine, and guess who is now paying for each and every sip? I have had cramps since last Friday and will continue to do so through this Friday and possibly all weekend. They are even the old kind where nothing helps, even this early in the game. I have taken meds a few times and it did jack to ease my pain. I even got a beautiful hormone-induced headache at work today that made breathing in and out painful, as each breath caused my head to throb as though I had just stood up too quickly. Again, pain meds don't touch these kinds of headaches, so I had to tough it out.

Already this cycle is going to be the worst I have had in 3 years. My girls hurt soooo much, I can't even tell you. I can tell when people are looking at them because it makes them hurt. I'm not sure if all of these hormones are a good or bad thing. Are they a sign of my fertility or a sign of my stupidness by drinking caffeine? Either way, I am braced for a ride similar to the rides I faced every month from the age of 14 all the way until I was 28.

Oh yeah, guess who else is visiting? The PMS Avenger. I've had to try really hard to keep her from kicking my own @$$ all day. She seriously wants to, but I keep telling her I am already in enough discomfort, I don't need a sore backside to go with it. Between fighting her off and dealing with everything else, I am wiped. (I have honestly been angry with myself all day.)

I am praying now more than ever that we get pregnant at the end of this month because these types of cycles are so brutal. So now in addition to wanting to get pregnant just to have another baby, I need to get pregnant to keep from having to deal with monster cycles while also being a mother. That's right, I haven't had a cycle like this since I had my baby. Is there a word that is the equivalent of brutal multiplied by 10?

Sorry I haven't blogged in a while, and then this post is such a downer. I really do have some fun ones up my sleeve, but I just don't have the energy to do anything other than complain and lament the sentence I have passed on myself and the impending punishment.

Caffeine is OFF the menu again.

Angry Workday Letters

Dear W.ord,

We are not friends, and we never will be. I will make you do my bidding whether you like it or not. Get used to it. You work for me, I do not work for you! Jerk.

Respectfully,
Chelle



Dear Mr. Gates,

Micros.oft W.ord sucks. So do you. Get a haircut, you hippie!

Respectfully,
Chelle



Dear Pan.dora,

Please quit playing live and acoustic music. I don't like it. Please quit playing a song immediately when I click the thumbs down button, not in 5 minutes or after the song has ended. I clicked "NO", which means stop playing NOW. Please play more of the music I like. You know, like the ones I clicked the thumbs up button for. My clicking thumbs up does not mean I never want to hear that song again. In fact, quite the opposite. That's why I said I LIKE it.

Respectfully,
Chelle



Dear Blogs.pot,

Please quit taking eons to sign me in and out. I don't have all day ya know!

Respectfully,
Chelle



Dear Female Coworkers,

Please flush the toilet after yourselves. You are not 3 and just being potty trained. Please stop being so disgusting.

Respectfully,
Chelle

'Nuff Said