Still Trying to Catch My Breath

Almost exactly one month ago, I wrote this blog post in which I told all of my blog readers that my husband and I were going through a difficult phase, and to please say a little prayer for us. The difficulty was not with our marriage. Rest assured, that is as strong as ever, if not more so. But I asked for the prayers in helping my sweetie find a job. I didn't want to come right out on the blog and say that, and I won't get into why other than to say it made me feel a little uncomfortable.

Hubs has been working and running his own business from home since 6 months into our relationship. Unfortunately, with the economy being the way it was, things slowed down considerably the last year. Needless to say, the need for full time employment became imminent.

Tuesday afternoon, Hubs dropped Baby Bean off at the office with me on his way to the fourth round of interviews with a company. Like any good infertile wouldn't, I didn't get my hopes up. I just didn't have feelings either way. I was tired of getting my hopes up that this interview would be the one only to find out later it wasn't. So I left work early, took Baby Bean home, laid her down for a nap, and took one myself.

Yesterday at around 4:00 in the afternoon, Hubs IMed me and asked if our neighbor might still be up for watching our daughter. I asked why. His reply was, "Duh." Okay, so either he is going on another interview somewhere, as had been commonplace of late, or he got the job. My next question was what day and time. Again, "Duh." I then asked if he got the job. "That would be the duh part."

I was elated! Finally! I knew God wouldn't let us down. I just didn't know when things would turn out. I turned around and told my teammates right away, and they were all very excited with me. I started to get lightheaded because it was such a relief. A huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I then found out he starts work on Monday, which inevitably sent me into a tailspin. We have two days to figure out childcare. I have two days to get everything together for Baby Bean to even go to childcare. Let us not forget the massive upset to everyone's schedules. As fast as the excitement had come on, panic took over in its place. So many things to address!

We are all very excited. This is a fantastic opportunity for Hubs, and it is a good thing for all of us all around, except for maybe the dogs who have never been home all alone during the day since we got either of them. We are going to check out daycare facilities tomorrow, and I will spend the rest of my weekend getting everything together for Monday. Oh yeah, and we'll be attempting round 2 of the 9-month photo shoot. Please let the weather and the baby cooperate!!!

You Must Crawl Before You Walk

People always say that we have to crawl before we can walk. Hubs likes to tell people that he never crawled and went straight to walking. There are days where I wonder if my daughter will follow in his footsteps.

She is really close to crawling right now. For the most part she manages to scoot herself around to wherever she needs to go. I think she just lacks the self-assurance needed to keep herself up on all fours and move forward, especially on the slippery hardwood floors. She gets up on her hands and knees just fine, but I think is scared to actually crawl because she has fallen forward on her face too many times. Tonight was the first time she actually managed to crawl more than three paces. She crawled from one side of her room to the other. I was standing on one side of her room going through an old trunk of mine, discovering some long lost Wi.nnie the Poo.h friends, when Baby Bean managed to pull herself up to a standing position for the first time ever, using her changing table. Right on cue, praise, love, hugs, and kisses ensued for this new accomplishment.

One thing she loves to do is walk. She will grab hold of our fingers when offered, and proceed to walk us around the house, much to the chagrin of my already achy back. Lately when I lay on the floor to play with her, she comes over and uses me to pull herself up to standing. How can a mother resist that? Of course I then hold out my fingers, and we walk around the house. The last time I bought socks, I tried to get as many pair as I could with the little rubber skids on them, since most of our floors are hardwood.

If you promise not to tell Hubs I did this, here is a little video that I was able to capture of him walking our darling little girl around the family room. I had wanted so badly to catch one of these moments with him and her, but he loathes being on camera, so I'm surprised he didn't mind this night. I am so glad I got it. I will cherish it always.

In response to a comment that made me laugh, I need to clarify that it was almost bed time when this was taken and Baby Bean was getting cranky. I posted this video because capturing it was a one-time deal. Usually it makes Baby Bean squeal with delight when we walk her around.

Hot Stuff

Today at work I had yet another glowing monthly review where I was told yet again that my company doesn't hire stupid people and that my shine is really starting to come out. My PM told me that he has seen in the past two weeks what he expected to see when he hired me last year. I laughed and told him I had just been telling Hubs the same thing on one of our walks last week. My PM said he is really proud of me and he is excited to watch my stardom rise throughout the company over the coming years as everyone realizes how integral my role within the company really is. I am a very important part of our company being FDA compliant! It makes me feel so official and special. I need a gold badge or something. I totally rock!

After I got back to my desk, just beaming and feeling really great on the inside, Hubs sends me an IM:

Hubs: Want to see a really hot chick?
Me: Sure, but I can't view porn at work.

Then the following picture came through:


This was me on our honeymoon to Aruba 3.5 years ago. My heart just swelled and I felt like the hottest chick on the face of the planet for the first time in a long time. It made me feel so good. It made me feel better than good. I just wanted to go home and smother him in kisses. I told my coworkers about the conversation and then showed them the picture and they all said, "Awwww! That is so sweet!" I know. I am married to the most fabulous man ever. Okay, I don't want to get in a fight with all of you girls, so I'll reword that to say the most fabulous man for me. ;)

That picture was then followed by a couple more of me, and then a couple of him where he stated he really didn't look that much different.


Would you look at that bronze goddess?! I know I'll never be that again, but I am going to try dang hard to get as close to it as I possibly can. That is back when I was a size 0. Yes, ZERO. I had little boobs to go with it, but hey, everything else looked spectacular.


Oh for pete's sake, I looked really dang hot! And Hubs doesn't look so bad himself. We make such a handsome pair. And we make really great looking babies too!

When he sent me those pictures, it renewed and strengthened my desire to drop my pregnancy and infertile weight. I've been doing pretty awesome. I started walking 5-6 times a week about 7 weeks ago and doing 6 ab exercises every night before bed. There have been a few days here and there where I didn't get one or the other in, but I have been doing great about busting my butt, even when I don't want to. I have braved heat, humidity, and mosquito's while pushing a sometimes fussy baby in a stroller and walking two 45+ lb border collies just to make sure we all get to get out and have a bit of fresh air and exercise. The result? I have lost 7 lbs since I started. :D As my friend S says, Booyah! I only want to lose 18 more before I can really be okay with my body image. The last pregnancy 7 and then the infertile 11.

I mean, I am by no means a fatty, I'm just not where I want to be. I also realize I will never be that skinny b**** size 0 again because things have shifted due to my pregnancy, but I will take as close to it as I can. I have began to notice the fat coming out of my face, but especially my arms and legs. At lunch last week a couple of my coworkers told me they had begun to notice a difference, saying that my face looked thinner and they had noticed it a couple of weeks before. It made me feel soooo good to hear that. I've been working so hard.

All things considered, I don't think I'm looking too bad right now. Yes I still have a gut that makes me look 4 mos pg and am still sporting some thunder thighs, but my fat pants are starting to get loose. I think I'm doing a great job, and I am so completely determined to get this weight off I haven't lost any steam. I just need to keep at it, and I will.


I took this picture a couple days after my haircut to show that it really did look better when I styled it on my own. I wasn't sure if I liked it at first, but I have come to love it. That and Hubs told me one day last week that I looked hot and that he really liked my hair. It has been a long time since he has told me my hair made me look hot. I can never seem to get the haircuts I want.

Well, my sleeping pill just kicked in and I am afraid all coherence will go out the window with the sheep, so I had better blog off. Night!

P.S. Trying to walk around the house while heavily under the influence of sleeping drugs is really interesting and commical.

P.P.S 3 Musk.ateers and I broke up last night. Luckily a coworker offered to take my sloppy seconds and they have happily started a loving relationship together.

Most Wonderful Husband EVER!

All right ladies, I know you all think that you are married to the most wonderful man in the world ever, but I have to say my husband is a serious contender for the title. Guess who has taken the baby all night every night for the past week+? Yep, that would be my husband. My darling sweetie sends me to bed around 10:00-11:00 every night and takes care of our little girl from the time I go to bed until around 8:30-9:00 every morning so that I can get some much needed sleep to help me recover physically and emotionally.

We've been working on getting Baby Bean on a schedule for the past couple of days. I am still pumping every 6 hours and then we supplement the rest of her feedings with formula. We've found that if we save the breast milk from the night pumpings for her day feedings and give her formula at night she will sleep a little bit longer at night. Thanks to Hubs giving up his sleep, I only have to get up once during the night to pump and then its back to bed for me. I can't even tell you how wonderful this has been. Not only does my ability to sleep help speed my recovery, but it helps out a lot with my ability to be patient and deal with a fussy baby and an out of control 10-month-old puppy.

In addition to keeping the baby all night long, he always asks if there is anything he can get me during the day, like food, drink, or Ad.vil. That is some serious love! I can't even begin to tell you how very blessed and lucky I feel to be married to such a wonderful man. I can promise you I don't question his love and devotion for me.

The only thing that makes me feel bad is that I don't know how I can repay the favor. He doesn't like it when I spend money in large amounts, so he wouldn't be happy with me if I ran out and bought him a new HDTV, which I would LOVE to do. Taking him out to dinner isn't really a treat or a way to say thank you because we eat out a lot already. There isn't anything he wants that he won't just go get himself, and if he hasn't already gotten it, its because he doesn't want to spend the money. I tried to tell him to go to bed one night and get a good night's sleep, but he wouldn't have it. I have had one idea, but I can't share it on the blog just yet just in case he reads this post at some point. I just hope it shows the magnitude of my love and gratitude for his selfless sacrifice right now.

I am one very loved and cherished wife who is equally in love with my husband. I thank God for bringing us together and for blessing us with our precious little baby girl. We have the most perfect family ever.