What bow? And was that your head?

Have you ever had one of those weeks where you constantly felt like a complete jerk regarding one person in your life? That was me last week.

Sunday was my little brother's birthday. I had sent him a gift and a card in the mail, but then I forgot to call him on his special day. When I realized this the next day, I felt like a total jerk. I sent him a text message telling him I was sorry, I felt bad, and wished him a belated birthday. As are all text messages to my brother, this one was filled with much joking. He gave me only a little bit of grief and then forgave me.

My birthday is coming up in the next few weeks. My husband was planning on buying me a food storage rack for our garage, but Tuesday of last week offered to fly my brother out for my birthday instead. I jumped on the opportunity. I would so much rather make memories with my brother than enjoy stacking food storage on a rack in the garage.

Long story short, my family got in on him surprising me by flying out for my birthday. My husband and brother told me they couldn't find flights cheap enough, so he couldn't come out after all. I wouldn't take that sitting down, so I went out and found a cheap flight that flew in and out at the perfect times. I'll skip the details, but my brother told me he had duties with the Guard every weekend we had tried to get him to come out, which meant he wouldn't make it out.

But as is the case with me, I wouldn't let it go. I wanted my brother out here. At one point I figured they were planning a surprise, but everyone was so good with their lies, I finally decided he really wasn't coming. Then I got frustrated and upset with him. Here I was, offering to give up a great birthday present to get him out here. We had initially offered to pay for his ticket, but my brother's excuse was constantly that he couldn't afford it, which really started to grate me. I never once asked him to fly out on his dime.

Finally by Thursday night I had come to terms with the fact he wasn't coming out, but I wasn't going down without a fight. I called him up and started the conversation with, "Let me tell you why I am so frustrated with you right now, and if you interrupt me while I'm talking, I will hang up on you." I then proceeded to rip his head clean off, but I did it in the most loving way I could under my frustration. When I finished there was a moment of silence, and then my brother said, "I couldn't book the ticket you found because I already booked one, so screw you." Then he hung up.

Toward the end of my tirade, my husband had gotten up and started walking into the room where I was ranting to tell me to knock it off, but he got there too late. He came in just after my brother had hung up. "He told you, didn't?" I shook my head and said, "Yep. I'm an @$$ hat." Holy deuce did I feel bad!

That was twice in one week that I felt like a total jerk regarding my little brother.

I called him back, and we eventually smoothed things over. I still went to bed feeling pretty bad, but promised I would be nothing but happy the next morning, and I was.

The morale of the story to me is to learn how to let things go before I rip bows and heads off of future surprise presents.