Oops

So I guess I didn't ovulate on the 14th afterall. I thought for sure I did because of some pains, and my temps even began to dramatically increase over the next few days. But on the day when my temp should have crossed the cover line, it dropped almost a full degree from 97.9 to 97.3. I thought that was rather odd, but didn't think much about it. I figured it was an indication that I would ovulate the next day, but again my temp dropped to 97.1. Again, I thought it was odd, but didn't think much about it. The next day it dropped even further, to 96.7. Has anyone else who has ever temped had this problem? I thought maybe my thermometer batteries were dying, so I changed them out last night, and my temp only crawled to 97.0 today. I thought maybe my thermometer was bad, so I temped with a different BBT and it confirmed the reading of my other thermometer. I am seriously confused and a little disheartened.

I think this is partly my fault. I thought I ovulated on the 14th and was free to stress about this impending job, so I've just been letting the stress happen as it would, thinking it couldn't postpone ovulation this month because it had already happened. But on top of that, I have woken up the past two mornings completely nauseated, and today I have muscle aches that make no sense to me. I would think it was the flu, but I'm pretty sure its not. I'm sure its all stress induced.

I'm not really worried about the fact that I obviously haven't ovulated. I'm just a little confused. I had already determined that if it didn't work out this month, it would probably be for the best. And that if I do get that job, we won't try to conceive at all next month because I know for a fact my stress levels will be through the roof with the job change and trying to move. That means I won't bother temping, and we won't bother with timed baby dancing.

I think I am coming down off my interview high as of yesterday afternoon. My boss came around at lunch time yesterday and told everyone to go home for the rest of the day, since it was a holiday. I skipped out of here and went home to put together my writing samples and cover letter. The whole time I was writing the cover letter I was freaking out. All of my fears started to set it, and I was nervous as hell about submitting my samples. I suddenly lost my faith in my writing abilities and was afraid the employer would decide my writing sucked and they didn't want anything to do with me after all. A couple hours after submitting my samples, I began to cry. I'm not sure if it was hormones, nervousness, or fear. Maybe it was a combination of all of them. My husband lovingly stroked my back and told me it was all fine, and that my writing samples were really good (he never strokes my ego, so I know he was telling the truth). I still can't help being nervous. I have certainly come crashing down from my excitement on Friday.

I tried to help soothe my poor nerves last night by going shopping for a new suit to interview in next week. I found the most wonderful little number at a place called White House Black Market. I spent almost $400 on a complete outfit. By complete I mean jacket, top, pants, 4" heels, necklace, and bracelet.

So I'm a little down today between the non-ovulation, dropping temps, and nerves. I know I have no right to be down, but I am. :(