Honestly

The votes are in (even if the stupid poll on my blog doesn't work)! I listened to all of my bloggy friends, as well as my IRL friends, as well as my gut, and I talked to Hubs, and so the decision has been made:

We will be trying for #2 starting at the end of August!

Wow. I am so excited! I seriously need to catch my breath. I really hope my body is ready by then. I feel really good that it will be, and I feel really good about our chances of getting pregnant in August/September. I just hope I don't get knocked off my horse again. I am praying that when I go in for my sonohystogram in a few weeks everything will look great, and Dr. D will give me a big, fat green light complete with high five.

I want to be honest for a second though. I am really excited and feel really positive about our chances for conception when we want them to happen, but a minute part of me is afraid Dr. D will tell me we have to wait longer. Call it PTSD left over from February if you want. Deep down I knew during the year leading up to February that something wasn't going to be right. I didn't know what it was, but I knew. I was supposed to go in for an ultrasound last October to see how everything was healing, but my overconfidence kicked me in the @$$ and told me I didn't need to. Had I gone in when I was supposed to, I would have had surgery last year.

One way I try to keep from beating myself up over not going in last October like I was supposed to is I tell myself it just wasn't the right time. The right egg wasn't going to be released then, and the right sperm wasn't even in existence. We had to wait because there is a specific baby that is meant to be with us, and his genetic code wasn't ready back then. Now I feel like the right egg is in line and will be making his appearance in 8-12 weeks. It makes me giddy to think the other half of his genetic code could be inside his daddy right now too. Weird, I know, but this is what infertility does to us. It makes us look at this whole reproductive thing in a completely different way.

I wanted to say thank you to everyone for your support and positive energy. It really means a lot, and it helps buoy me up. It gives me that extra boost of confidence I need to help me reassure myself that my feelings are spot on.

I hope you all have a fantastic July 4th for those of you the in the US. Be safe and try not to start anyone's roof on fire!