All That Matters Is What Remains

Today Hubs and I went and met with our high risk OB. We had been to see him before when I was pregnant with Baby Bean to do the down syndrome testing and all that jazz, so we knew who he was, which gave me a little sense of comfort. We were seated in his office, and a few seconds later Dr. P walked in. He went over our previous genetic counseling that was done in his office and then asked what he could do for us. We immediately began giving him the full back story. I won't lie, I was nervous. I was on the verge of shaking. I wasn't sure if he was going to agree with the Mayo doctors or with Dr. D.

After Hubs and I finished vomiting my history, he smiled and said something along the lines of, "None of that matters anymore. All that matters is what remains. You no longer have a uterine septum, that's gone. You no longer have a weak spot in the fundus of your uterus, that has been removed. All that we are concerned about now is the new scar tissue in the fundus and your low traverse c-section scar."

I had thought about that before, about how everything else had been erased by this surgery, but for some reason hearing him say that took a huge weight off my shoulders. I needed that confirmation.

We told him about everything Dr. D had told us before we went to Mayo, about the risk of premature birth, uterine rupture, and immediate hysterectomy if we got pregnant again, and then we told him about how the doctors at Mayo disagreed. You know what? He agreed with the doctors at Mayo. He said that the most likely outcome for my next pregnancy would be that I would carry full term.

It took me a minute to process what he said. It was like all of a sudden all of these really scary things I had been thinking through went out the window. Yeah, they can happen, but most likely, they won't. For the rest of our appointment, I was processing the fact that my next pregnancy probably won't as high risk as I thought. Mind you, Dr. P did reiterate that it will be high risk, and it will be very closely monitored. He also reminded us of the potential complications, especially that of placenta previa (which all women who have had previous c-sections are at risk of) and placenta accreta.

There is only one thing he said the whole time we were there that made me flinch, and that is that I have a "scarred uterus." I know I do, but I don't like hearing it, even though I have said that a million times myself. Hearing it from a medical professional is kind of jarring. "Your reproductive organ is one big ball of scar tissue." Awesome. "You have a scar on the top and a scar on the bottom. You have scars around your ovaries and scars across your uterus. Is there anywhere you don't have scars?" Okay, so its not as bad as it was. Dr. D did clear out as much of the scar tissue as he could find. It still just stinks though.

The important thing is Hubs and I left that office today excited and happy to create another baby together for a change. Some of the fear has been lifted, and some of the mystery removed. All we do now is get knocked up in a few months, and then as our doctors say, take it all as it comes.