Lovin' the Skin I'm In

I've done it! I've gotten below my prepregnancy weight! I am officially back to my infertility treatment weight, and I plan to keep on going down at least another 10 lbs. The only downside is that I am not quite back into my prepregnancy or infertility clothes. I'm close, but not there. It just goes to show that things really do shift during pregnancy. When I bought my size 8s a couple months after returning to work, I swore that I wouldn't buy any more pants until I was back into my size 4s. But now that I weigh less than I did last time I dawned those pants and they still don't quite fit, I've decided to give myself the grace to go buy some that do. The 8s are just too baggy on me anymore, and make me look frumpy. In addition, they don't show off all of my hard work.

I've kept walking almost every single day since 6 weeks post partum, even when the temps outside pushed 103 with 30% humidity. I walk on days when it is 95 degrees and 60% humidity. I even go on days when it is hot and threatening rain. It is downright miserable, but I persist. I do it for me, the dogs, and the baby. I want to lose weight, the dogs need exercise, and the baby needs a change of scenery, in addition to her expecting it as part of her nightly routine. So we go. And it is paying off.

Last Friday when I wore my baggy size 8 pants to work, I decided it was time to show off what I've done and to quit forcing myself to wear clothes that don't fit because I'm too cheap to go buy more. I earned a smaller size, it was time to claim my prize. I went and bought myself a couple of new pair of work pants and a pair of size 4 shorts (which I am proudly and comfortably wearing right now). I love how buying smaller clothes makes me feel so good about myself. It also motivates me to keep up the routine.

In addition to losing weight, I have not only come to terms with my post baby body, but I love it. I may have struggled with things a little bit at first, but I have come to cherish my stretch marks along with the little bit of stretched belly skin that still remains. The latter could still tighten up and go away. Chances are most of it will, but if it doesn't, I don't care. I earned all of these things. I went through a lot to get them. They serve as a daily reminder to me that I fought the war and won. I no longer apply cream to them and wish them away. Instead, I lovingly rub them, smile, and think of my baby girl.

Hubs and I want to go on a beach vacation before the year is over. Guess who will proudly sport a bikini? Me! I don't give two figs if no one else on the beach thinks my body looks hot in a bikini because it isn't all smooth and flawless. I am lovin' the skin I'm in. My opinion of me is the only one that matters. Hubs will find me sexy and attractive as long I as I find myself that way. I'm not embarrassed or shy about it. I totally understand the women who have proudly gone before me sporting the same badges of honor. Motherhood is hot, before, during, and after.

Tonight, I will strap Baby Bean in her stroller, put leashes on the dogs, and go walk 4-5 miles in the 95+ degree heat and 50% humidity because one day soon, I will get back into those size 4s!