How Did I Get Here?

I am joining my first ever IComLeavWe hosted by the amazing Mel at Stirrup Queens. If you're not sure what that is and care to find out, click here. I just want to say that I am really glad I joined. I have been introduced to so many incredible new bloggers and the experience has been very uplifting. Thanks Mel for putting it all together!

I figured that since so many of you are new to my blog, perhaps only reading it for this week, I would give you a little background on how I got here. Its the first time on this blog that the whole story has been told in one post. It has been a long journey, and one that is far from over.

In September 2005 I married my sweetheart for time and all eternity. I had told him while we were dating that I was pretty sure conceiving children would not come easily for me and asked if he was willing to do infertility if it came to that, to which he replied he was if that was what I wanted. I just always had a feeling there would be complications. We chose to wait a year after our marriage to start trying for a family, but 6 months in, my cycles became abnormal and I decided it was time to start trying.

In October of 2006, I set foot in the infertility clinic for the first time. I was sure all I would need was a few months on chlomid and I'd be knocked up by Christmas. Little did I know I was about to become an infertility experiment with a specialist in training and all hell was going to break lose with my life. I sat in the waiting room on that crisp October morning thinking that no matter what happened, infertility would not best me. I would never let it break me, and I would never become bitter. I was so naive.

During that first month progesterone tests indicated I was not ovulating. The next month I started my first dose of chlomid. It was too low to induce ovulation. The second month we had ovulatory success, but not pregnancy. Before I knew it, I was on a whirlwind ride full of internal ultrasounds every other day, FSH shots, HCG triggers, ovarian cycsts, and mood swings that would make Ange.lina Joll.ie look tame. My very metal was tested, along with my marriage, and every single relationship I had. I had two choices, I could let it all best me, or I could come out stronger on the other end. I chose to come out stronger, even though that meant losing lifelong friendships in some cases.

One day in August of 2007 I was debating over whether or not to continue with the current cycle. I was tired, battered, and worn. I wanted to quit and give up the month, but I had already had two doses of FSH, and so I decided at the very last minute to continue with the cycle. By chance I got the doctor my specialist worked under because it was a Sunday and he was on call. Long story short, I found out I had been an experiment with unfounded protocols that made the doctor angry with the specialist.

As soon as the new doctor told me this, I asked if he would please take me on as his patient. He told me he would, but that my current cycle would have to be turned into an IUI. If that failed I could opt for a laparoscopy, two more IUIs, or go straight to IVF. We went ahead with the IUI, and when it failed I opted for surgery.

On October 30, 2007, I underwent a 3.5 hour laparoscopy that revealed I had moderate and extensive endometriosis around my ovaries, all over my uterus, and in other areas of my abdominal cavity. It further revealed a mild case of PCOS and a uterine septum. The endometriosis was resected, the septum removed, and ovarian drilling performed, along with a surprise appendectomy. The removal of the septum made any pregnancies an automatic c-section.

A few months after my surgery, Hubs and I needed a major change of scenery. I posted my resume in a different state, and by March of 2008 we were residents of Texas. I left my home, and Hubs returned to his. We half-heartedly continued to try for a baby as we were getting our new life in order. Within a month and a half of being here, my strange cycle returned. I wanted to give up and be done, but Hubs wouldn't have it, so I scheduled an appointment with a new OB for the following month. It was at this appointment we found out we were expecting, all on our own.

Nine short months and a very easy pregnancy later, our beautiful baby girl was born. She is worth absolutely every thing I had to go through to get her. I'd do it all again in a heartbeat.

But our story does not end there. It was during the c-section we found out that Baby Bean's placenta had implanted in the scar tissue from the removal of the septum and had been slowly making its way through the uterine lining during the last few months of my pregnancy. It had poked a hole in my uterus. This threw a major wrench in our plans to not wait more than a few months before trying for Baby #2. We didn't want to wait because neither of us is that young anymore, we want multiple children, and we don't know how quickly the endometriosis will grow back. We felt that the longer we waited, the less likely our chances would be of having more children.

Upon hearing of the rupture, we were told we would be lucky to have any more. That if I did get pregnant again, it would be a high risk pregnancy, I would never carry to term again, and an MRI would have to be performed as soon as the baby was viable to ensure the placenta was not making its way through scar tissue again, as a rupture could kill both the baby and me. After consulting with a high risk OB, we were told we could try again in a year's time.

That brings us to where we are today. We are currently on birth control (an IUD), much against my wishes, but necessary to help slow the regrowth of endo while we wait for the year to pass. We are hoping and praying that we will be able to get pregnant again next year and without the aid of treatments or repetition of the laparoscopy. We're just grateful that we at least get to try again.

Please feel free to join us on our journey. The love and support I receive from blog friends and especially those going through the same thing helps me make it through the rough days. Thank you for visiting, and I wish you all the best!