Two More

I love that I have been blogging for so long I can actually go back to pivotal moments in time and remember events as they actually happened, and not just how my brain has played telephone with them over the months and years. I further love that those moments cross with my current life and help put moments of anxiety at ease.

Back in January 2008 I posted about a friend of my dad's who has psychic abilities. I don't know if you believe in such things, but I do. In this particular post, I told about how my dad and I were talking on the phone one day after my IUI and I told him that I knew in my heart it had not worked, even though it was too early to tell for sure, but that I was okay. My dad told me that he had recently talked to his good friend and had asked what R saw for Hubs and me. R told my dad that our road to parenthood would be long and hard, that we would struggle, but that eventually we would have at least one little girl. As soon as my dad uttered those words, tears streamed down my face. I was speechless. I remember the moment very clearly. I was driving in my car, on my way back to work from my lunch break. It was a sunny day in August. I even know the exact intersection I was crossing when he told me.

In that moment, I knew that I could not give up. I told my dad that I hoped we were at the end of the rough road, and that R was right. Armed with that information, I was going to continue with the surgery and do what it took to get that baby girl. R was the third person with these abilities to tell me he saw us with at least one little girl. He was right. They were all right.

As you can imagine, when I went home last week, I asked my dad to please talk to R again and ask if he saw anymore. He said he would if he remembered. I begged him to please remember. When he asked why it was so important, my reply was simple, he saw Baby Bean long before she was even conceived.

I need to know before I get my IUD that once it comes out, we will get to do this at least one more time. I just need to put my mind at ease, to know that I can fully enjoy the next 6 or so months without worrying about the potential problems brewing (i.e., regrowth of endo).

My dad sent me a text message on Friday afternoon while I was at work, it started out by saying he and my sister went to see R, and then said:

I asked what he saw for you and he said two more.

I cried. All I could do was cry for the next few minutes. I felt such relief and such joy. It felt as though a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. It was the green light I needed for the next 6+ months because truth be told, I never did get that positive OPK. I thought I would get it the day I posted about it because I went from zero hint of a line to a hint of a line. I tested for the next three days and never got more than a hint. Then I ran out of tests and couldn't sneak a new box past Hubs who was threatening to toss them all in the trash as it was. I quit testing on CD22.

I don't for one second believe that means we won't potentially have to walk the hard path again when we're ready, but at least it gives me the strength to bear the burden and gives me the stamina to keep going if the going gets rough.

Two more....