If the worst of my problems is not getting a positive OPK in a month in which we're not even trying, a scuffed up car bumper, and the anxiety of going on a plane ride with a 5-month-old all by myself**, then I've got a really good life.
Yeah I'm broker than broke. Yes I am nervously awaiting my first air conditioning bill of the summer. But at least I make enough money to pay the behemoth AC bill and keep my house comfortable for my little one. My little family doesn't have to go without very much, and that includes the dogs. They still get their dental chews, flea meds, and annual vaccination's. So what if I can't afford to take Sades to dog school tomorrow like I planned. I can do it later when things aren't so tight. Right now she has a dog dish full of food, a bed to call all her own, and a family who loves her.
At least I had the money to buy the plane ticket so I could go home and be with my family. So what if Baby Bean gets fussy? So what if she is disruptive on the flight? Getting the whole family together like this weekend is so rare. We all live in different states, so this is a big deal. On top of which, some of my family hasn't even met the baby yet. I can handle a couple hours of stress getting through security on my own with my little one. And anyone who wants to give me grief on the plane if she gets fussy can just stick it. I'm going home to be with the people I love most.
I am ashamed that I have sat here and boo-hooed to all of you about my supposed problems. I have read blogs and talked to people who have it a hell of a lot worse than me. I have gained a lot of perspective in the last 14 hours. I have a great life. I am very blessed. Its time to own that.
**I have failed to mention previously that I am taking Baby Bean on her first ever plane ride outside of the package. Mostly because the trip is not as social as I made it sound. It is not under pleasant circumstances. It is for a reason that I have a hard time talking about to anyone. There are only a few people in my non-family life who know why I'm going. Hubs is also not accompanying me on this trip, which really stresses me out. I won't have my comfort and my help with the baby. I've never flown with an infant before, so I am braced for the ride of my life. The bottom line is that something pleasant will come out of it, and that is the remainder of my siblings and nieces will get to meet the baby, and I will get to spend a few precious days with all of my family.
5 Thoughts:
I was reading this and suddenly thinking, "Have I missed an entry, where are they going?" I'm so happy you get to go and see your family, that'll refresh you after the past week's happenings. Have an awesome time!
Perspective is a wonderful thing. I know that even though I was going through a pretty rough weekend, when I found out about my aunt's brain tumor, I gained perspective also. At the same time, I think we all have the right to wallow in our own pain and frustrations. Life can be hard sometimes, and I don't think you should feel bad about being upset about certain things, or sad, or whatever emotion you have. There is of course always going to be someone who has it worse than we do, but I don't think that takes away from the pain that we feel about our own situations. The truth is, pain is pain.
So, I realized I am really long winded in my comments. ;-) I guess what I'm trying to say, is it is wonderful that you appreciate all you are blessed with in your life, but you are also allowed to be down sometimes. Life is a crazy rollercoaster!
Thinking of you. :-D
I'm glad you get to go see your family but sad for the reason why. I hope that things turn out great and that Baby Bean is Awesome on the plane. I too have had a lot of time to think about how lucky I am in this life so far and I hope to enjoy it while I can.
It is HARD to not focus on the bad stuff in life when you are wading in it... it always feel like it snowballs, too. When it rains, it pours.
It's good to put things in perspective and keeping up with the lives of people who are struggling far more than me helps me do that, too. Life just sucks sometimes!
I am terrified to take L on a plane, so PROUD of you for doing it and doing it alone. You'll do AWESOME, you always do. I hope you have an amazing trip!!
*hugs*
Ha - I said today that baby socks are the "bane of my existence," and my husband said that must mean I have a pretty good existence. :) He's right (even though baby socks aren't Really the worst thing right now), it's good to remember how good we have it sometimes.
I wish you the best on your trip, and I'm glad you can look forward to parts of it even if the reason for it isn't so bright!
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