Leap of Faith

This past week has been interesting. When haven't they been interesting lately? Sometimes I feel like my life could be a best-selling drama novel. Things definitely got worse before they got better, but I'm bouncing back now. No doubt because of the latest hormonal shift in which we all become hopeful and ready to take on the world. I'm sure my acupuncture has a big role to play in the overall sense of well-being too. Actually, I think the acupuncture is playing a BIG role right now, and I am so grateful to find some relief.

Thursday morning I went to see Dr. D for a lining check. It was a bummer appointment because he had is Dr-in-training with him again that day, which meant it wasn't an appointment for me, it was an appointment for her. But Dr. D and I had a conversation about trying a non-medicated cycle this month. I was a little apprehensive because I don't feel like I have been seeing Dr. Acupuncture long enough to make a big enough difference. Dr. D then told me that he would make me a deal. He would prescribe a lower dose of estrogen for me than I have been on the last couple of months for this cycle, because he is afraid he may have been over-medicating me the last few months, and then we would try next month medication free. I told him I was perfectly okay with that plan because that was what I had wanted to do anyway.

The whole rest of the day I tried to decide when I would go get the new prescription filled. My days have been extremely busy this past week, so getting over to the pharmacy was something that had to be penciled in. By the time I got home that night, exhausted and dead on my feet, I decided I was going to take a leap of faith with this cycle and not do any hormones at all. If it works, WOOHOO! If it doesn't, we try again next month.

What it really came down to is I just don't have the energy to care right now. Work has been off the charts busy so that I leave every day just wanting to go home and go to bed. I am totally burned out. Add to that the fact that I am still really upset about what happened last week; I still haven't come to a resolution on what to do about that. I will say I talked it over with the appropriate people and nothing has changed. I have also talked it over with a few of the most important people in my life and they have all told me what they would do. Each one of them has said the same thing. So it has left me really thinking about things.

Then my sister had some potentially really bad news, which left me reeling.

It has just been another brutal week.

BUT, I am recovering. I am not throwing in the towel. I am just shifting my focus on all fronts. Trying to shift from feeling shat upon to finding ways to dealing with all of the recent unhappy circumstances. Shifting my priorities from TTC to dealing with major, more important issues.

Honestly though, I feel like the whole TTC thing will fall into place when it is time. I have made some major changes to my overall health the last month, and I have faith that they will pay off when the time is right. I am doing everything I can from the most healthy point of view I can and that is the best I can do. We're talking boatloads of supplements (including those from Dr. Acupuncture), dietary, exercise when I'm not completely beat from a hectic day at work, acupuncture, and chiropractic, along with using my Ovacue and seeing Dr. D to make sure everything is optimal. That's all I can do. None of the rest of it is in my control, so I have to let it go.

It is time for a shift in priorities and outlook. It is long overdue. So goodbye synthetic estrogen and progesterone. Hello leap of faith.