Happy 2nd Birthday Baby Bean!

Two years ago today was by far one of the most wonderful, happiest days of my life. The day I had dreamed of since I was a little girl myself. The day that was so hard won after years pain and sorrow. It was the day you came into my life. The day I realized the reason for my existence. The day I made the man I love most in this world a father. Nothing in this world can ever compare to that day.

This past year has been amazing beyond words as I watched you learn how to walk and then run. I watched your understanding of the English language and vocabulary grow by leaps and bounds. I saw the world through your wondering eyes as I taught you the names of everything around you. I have watched you grow in your love for everything in this world.

Every day it seems impossible to be able to love you more, yet I do, every day. I still look at you, afraid to close my eyes for even a second for fear that your being here has all been nothing more than a glorious dream. It has, but it is a real, live dream.

I thank God for you every moment of every day.

Sometimes I fear that my love for you will be too much. I hope that one day you will understand why and how I love you the way that I do.

At times I might not always be the best mother, but always know that I am giving it my everything. I am always striving to do my best for and by you, and I always will. I promise to get down and play with you every day of your childhood so that you can look back years from now and smile at the time we spent together while you were growing up. I promise to always be silly and crazy with you. You can always count on that.

I never wanted to grow up, and having you around brings out the child in me. I love doing for you all of the things I wish I had been able to do when I was a child, living out all of my childhood dreams with you. Not through you, but with you. There is nothing I love more than making you happy.

I love your little laugh. I love to make you laugh. I love to make you smile. I love to snuggle with you. I love to have conversations to you, even if I don't always understand exactly what you are saying. I love all of your adorable little mannerisms. I love the way you always say please, thank you, you're welcome, and bless you. I love your little squeals of excitement. I love the way you learn to comprehend what I tell you better and better every day. I love how excited you get over eating a piece of cheese or smarties or getting a pack of Sc.ooby Snacks. I love the way you turn my head to look at you when you're talking to me if I'm not looking at you. I love the way you shout "Mama!" and run to me when I pick you up from daycare. Above all, I love your sweet kisses and hugs.

I want you to know too, that I love you so much I want for you one of the best things I think I could ever give you, and that is a sibling. I grew up with siblings, and there is a joy like no other that only a brother or sister can give you. I hope and pray that one day I am able to provide you with this blessing. Ever since the day my baby brother came into the world, I have told him that he was my favorite gift from my mom and dad and from God. I hope that one day you will know that joy and love.

Baby girl, there has not been one day or one second since I found out I was pregnant with you almost three years ago that I thought you weren't worth everything I went through to get you. I would do it all again in a heartbeat. I am glad I never gave up, and that I never let the battle best me. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. You are the best thing your daddy ever gave me.

If I could give you just one thing from me, it would be for you to be able to look back on your childhood and say that you had the best mama ever. That you could remember all of the fun things we did together. That I was always here for you, and that I never left you when you needed me.

I look forward to watching you learn and grow even more in the next year. I look forward to making memories to last a lifetime.

I love you more than the sun and moon and all the stars in the sky. I love you more than the air that I breathe.

Happy birthday, sweet baby girl.