Big Changes

There are some big changes going on in my house right now. Well, okay, not necessarily the house I live in, but my "body" house. After reading the Making Babies book, I have started to make some real changes. We're talking diet, homeopathy, and exercise. That book really opened my eyes up to the fact that part of the reason we're having such a hard time conceiving again might not be 100% because of my surgery, but rather because I haven't been doing what I need to to make my body conducive to housing a baby. I knew some stuff, but that book taught me so much more.

I started reading the book about a week and a half ago and finished it two nights ago. I have highlights and bookmarks all over the thing. It has prompted me to make some major changes, and some of them are not going to be cheap, much to the dismay and stress of my husband. But my way of thinking is these stupid synthetic hormones are going to do some long term damage to my body, so if I can get around using them, I'm going to do it! What good does it do me to go through so much to bring children into this world if the treatments could cause me to live a life full of pain, illness, or even an early death.

Last Saturday I went to our local organic food super market and raided the bulk food bins to create myself a very scrumptious seed, nut, and berry mix. Next I visited the supplement isle and grabbed some B12 and Omega 3 to go with my prenatals. Then I asked for a referral to an acupuncturist. It's time to get serious.

On Tuesday afternoon I visited a chiropractor who had been at a health fair my company had recently hosted. Our initial visit involved a chat about chiropractic history and ended with x-rays. A follow-up visit was scheduled for Thursday.

On Wednesday morning I went and met the fabulous Dr. A (aka Dr. Acupuncture). First we went over the reasons I was there and what I hoped to accomplish. Then I was told a bit about acupuncture and how it could help me followed by a wellness assessment in which everything I had already thought was confirmed: I am MESSED UP and in major need of help. Unfortunately, we spent the entire hour just discussing everything and Dr. A had another appointment after mine, but he asked me to come back in the afternoon for my first session, and I did.

The first session was very painless. The needles are so tiny. In most cases I could hear them pop going into my skin more than I could feel them. There were a couple of points that would send a ping or two through my nerves, but it wasn't bad at all. After the treatment he asked if I could come in again the next morning, stating that it is important to get the first few visits as close together as possible because it is so easy for the body to relapse. Because I am in this 100%, I scheduled my appointment.

My second session involved probably twice as many needles, electrotherapy, and cupping over my lower abdoment. Honestly, the eletcrotherapy was the weirdest and it made me laugh because it made me feel like I was having muscle spasms. The worst was my right leg. Because the right side of my body is so far off balance, it responds a little more strongly to the treatments. My right leg was tense through the entire electrotherapy session and at times felt like it was going to hop off the table. Luckily, I didn't have any bruising from the cupping. Dr. A asked me to come back in the next morning, so I scheduled again.

Thursday afternoon I went back to the chiropractor to follow up on my x-rays and was shocked with what I saw. My back leans so far to the left it almost looks like it is disformed. My spine should line up with the middle of my pelvic bone, and it certainly does not. I guess that explains why I always feel like I'm leaning to the left. Not only that, but my neck goes up and down in a straight line, where it should be in more of a "C" shape. After seeing those x-rays and learning how having a back out of alignment can cause nerve damage that in turn restricts blood flow to the body and can contribute to fertility issues its no freaking wonder I'm not getting pregnant! Needless to say, I am now on a care plan in which I go to see Dr. C three times a week for the next month.

This morning I went back in to see Dr. A. The session was on my back this time, where the first two times had been on my front. Like yesterday, it included acupuncture, eletrotherapy, and ended with cupping. While lying on the table, needles in my back, skin pulsing with electricity, I began to feel like I was lying skiwompus on the table. Kind of like I was leaning to the left.... Interesting. This time the cupping did leave bruises.

At the end of the session Dr. A presented me with a wellness plan that would take me through the next 5-6 months. Ideally, he wanted to see me three times a week for 3 weeks, then two times a week for 4 weeks, and then once a week from there on out. But when I saw how much he wanted to charge up front I told him I had to talk to my husband who was already upset at the amount of money I signed up to spend at the chiropractor. Don't get me wrong, I would LOVE to follow his plan, but between the money and time away from work, I just don't think I can swing it. I asked him if we could do twice a week, and he said he thought so, especially if I take the herbs he has already ordered for me, which should be in next week.

At the end of the day, I realize there isn't much I won't do to add one more to our family. I also realize that this is honestly the last time I am going to try. After we get our one more, I am done. This whole process is so difficult, emotionally and financially. As I think about only doing this once more and then living my life I feel excited at the prospect of leaving all of this mess and pain behind. I don't want to be held back by infertility anymore. If God sees fit to bless us with more on His own after I win this current battle, I will definitely welcome them. But I'm not going to fight like this again. There is too much life to live, and I am ready to be content.