Save Me Dali!

*WARNING TMI POST IF YOU ARE NOT INFERTILE!!!*

Mom and dad, you may want to skip this one.

I'm not quite sure what happened, but today at work it suddenly occurred to me that I am officially one week away from trying for another baby. One week away from being back into the throes of TTC. I haven't been there in so long, I'm not 100% positive I remember everything I'm supposed to do besides BD (Baby Dance). Okay, that may be a bit of an exaggeration. I mean, we are talking about the woman who started using OPKs the first month her period returned after giving birth just to prove she was still fertile and ovulating.

But all of a sudden my mind has shifted back into baby-making mode. I'm not scared or nervous, per se, but I am really excited and I want to make sure I don't do anything to blow our chances this month.

I think if my work looks into what I googled today alone and the sites I visited, they might call me in for a stern talking to. Okay, that was probably a bit of an exaggeration too. I wasn't looking at anything risque.

It all started with me wanting to make sure I was eating the right foods at the right times. Even though I've looked at the websites a million times over the last few months, I always have to check back just to make sure I remember everything it said correctly, or that I didn't forget something, or that the content on each website didn't change. (You all know it is.)

Avocados are still really good, they still boost fertility. Check! I've been eating them by the truckload (because I love them). Pineapple around implantation time helps the egg implant. Check! I've got a few cans stored up, but plan on buying a fresh one or three to eat the core(s) after ovulation. Nuts help boost fertility. Check! I've got two big bags of almonds and cashews. Fruits and veggies.... fruits and veggies...? I'm not doing so hot there, but I'm trying. Okay, not really. I'll just make up for those with avocados and nuts. I have been taking prenatals the last month or so though, so that should help.

After I had all my foods in order, I started to wonder about *ahem*... lube, and its potential to kill off spermies. So then I started to kind of panic and wonder if we had anything acceptable in the house. It turns out no, no we don't. Yes, I googled sperm-safe lube at work today. It turns out the best stuff you can buy is called pre-seed. It was made for couples who are actively TTC. Supposedly it closely mimics fertile CM, so it helps the spermies by giving them more goo to swim in (just like more CM would), plus it doesn't kill them off. As soon as I got home, I ordered two boxes and had them sent priority mail (1-3 days) to ensure they would be here in time for the Big O next week.

My cabinet is currently stocked with OPKs. I can use two of those babies a day if I want to. I needed to ensure that I had enough of them in stock to prevent a panic attack should I want to do more than one in a day, which isn't uncommon for me, so I have about 13 tests in there.

After a day full of excited googling, ensuring I remembered all of my TTC info, and gearing up for the big day, a girl kind of needs to unwind. Enter mediation with the Dali Lama. My dad gave me a CD last year that has a monk chanting what is called "The Dali Lama Chant." It is so soothing, and it is awesome to meditate to. Within minutes of hearing the chant I can go from freaking out to being completely calm. It is incredible. I have needed the Dali a few times the past week. Not because I'm stressed out, but because I am so excited I can get myself a little too worked up. We are talking about 18 month's worth of anticipation here!

At any rate, I'm as ready as I can be. I feel really good about things, and I am hopeful. That is all I can be at this point. I just need to keep on doing what I'm doing and have faith.