Its the Final Count Down

The excitement and trepidation are mounting in our household as Baby Bean's birth is mere hours away. I had hoped she would come early and on her own, but apparently she really is a stubborn little girl. That being said, she actually isn't as old as my doctor says simply because they calculate the date of conception as being 14 days past your LMP, and she was actually conceived on day 19. We know. I did an OPK. That puts her almost a full week behind where they say she is. However, I have still managed to be pregnant with this little girl longer than any of my mother's pregnancies or my sister's. All of their babies came around weeks 36-38. I am officially 39 weeks today. Way to go little bean! You must belong to your daddy. I know for a fact that she would stay in there for at least a few more days if not weeks were she not being forcibly evicted shortly.

The past couple days have been a bit rough. I haven't been feeling well, and I'm not sure if it is because I am full of so many mixed and intense emotions or if it is because I ate something bad. Either way, I couldn't keep food down yesterday and didn't manage to get anything in my tummy until around 5:30 last night. As for the emotions, they have been all over the place, kind of like they were before I brought both of my dogs home, only on a much grander scale. I am completely excited to bring Baby Bean into this world and embark on the fantastic journey of motherhood, but at the same time I am scared sh*tless (excuse the language). I know that I will do a wonderful job as a mother because I always do the very best that I can at everything I do. I am just afraid of the unknown. What if my baby is really fussy and I don't know how to comfort her? Am I really as prepared as I hope I am? Just how much is this going to change our lives? Do I really have a clue?

On the other hand, I am stoked. I get to raise a beautiful baby girl that my husband and I created together. A symbol of our love for each other. A bond forever cemented between us, for better or worse. I have made my sweetheart a daddy, and he has made me a mommy. Together we will raise the most perfect daughter. We will love her unconditionally. We will teach her everything we know, encourage her to be a wonderful person, a contributing member of society. We will get to watch her grow and excel in life. I am so excited for her! She has so many wonderful things ahead of her and she has no idea just yet.

Last night before I went to bed, I sat up and wrote her a letter that I will give to her one day when I feel it is appropriate. I let her know how much we went through to get her here and how much we love her. I thank God for this blessed opportunity. The past 9 months have been the most incredible journey, and every thing we went through to get here was so completely worth it. All of the treatments, the ups and downs, the uncomfortable bits of pregnancy, all of it was worth it. I would do it again in a heartbeat and not think twice.

In just a few hours, I will get to meet my baby girl face to face. I am wordless at the thought. What a blessing.

I love you little girl, and I promise to be the best mother I can be to you. I can't wait to show you the world.