First Fabulous Smiles

On Wednesday morning shortly after I had finished changing Baby Bean into her outfit for the day I got what I have been waiting for since the day she was born, her first real smile at mom! She looked at me, smiled, and then cooed. I was completely elated! She then proceeded to do it two more times. It absolutely made my day! I am totally in love with being a mom. It is so much more fulfilling than I ever could have imagined. I just can't hold, kiss, or love my baby enough.

I am so excited that she is finally old enough to go out in public places because now I can take her everywhere with me. Next week we are going to get her picture professionally taken so I can get her birth announcements made up and sent out. I have also aquired "The Touch." When she is fussy, all I need to do is pick her up and she instantly calms down. She is definitely a mamma's girl.

Sleeping in mom's arms. Her favorite nap spot. (Mom loves it too!)

I've also been slowly coming to terms with the fact that I will inevitably have to return to work in just over two short weeks. There is a part of me that is excited to get back into the game and do what I do best, but there is still the new mom part of me that laments at the thought of leaving my little girl home. I am just so afraid she will feel abandoned by me when I'm not there to calm and soothe her when she needs me. I am also afraid of how things will go with Hubs trying to get work done while Baby Bean fusses. Luckily I work less than 6 miles from home, so I can at least come home for lunch ever day, and that is the plan.

Making friends with the toys in her crib.

Sweet, sleepy baby.

I think we have also decided what to do about the birth control issue, since we need to decide by next Thursday when I go in for my final post partum appointment. It was a very tearful decision, since neither option was a good one, in my opinion, but we have decided I will go on the birth control pill and we'll see how it goes. It is the only option that will help with the endo and eliminate the need for another laparoscopy when we are ready to try for baby #2. It all just plain sucks and makes me cry. I don't want to do any form of birth control. I really, really don't. But what other choice do we have when a pregnancy could be potentially life threatening right now? I am just praying that my doctor says that she has confirmed we will be able to have more children. She is supposed to consult with a high risk doctor before then and let us know. I'm sure the answer will be yes, but there is a fear we will hear that we can't.

In other, lighter news we have been getting rain here for the past four days. It started raining in the very wee hours of Wednesday morning and has been overcast and rainy since. The low spots in our back yard were flooded by the time the sun came up Wednesday morning, and now half of the backyard is a big old swamp. I wouldn't mind so much if it didn't mean my hyperactive 10-month-old Border Collie pup had to be inside 24 hours a day driving us all insane, but it is too cold and wet to leave her out during the day. Poor Sades. I thought you might all enjoy a few pictures of the new swamp.

Its a good thing the lawn was professionally mowed the day before the rain started!

I think I saw a bass swim by when I took this picture.

I guess we don't need to water our foundation this year!