Open Up Your Lovin' Arms

I'm no RE, and I don't play one on TV either. When I make my battle plans, I always add the caveat that I am no RE, and that my RE just might change or tweak my plans a bit. When I went to see Dr. D on Tuesday, my plans were completely changed.

Of course I didn't wait before he had the door to the exam room closed before stating, "We have much to discuss." He laughed and said we always do. He sat down on his stool and said, "Talk to me." I then began telling him what I had decided. He first asked if my insurance covered treatments. No, I am not that lucky. What he then told me was this:

• A couple who has been trying unsuccessfully for 2 years to get pregnant stands a 1% chance at getting pregnant on their own.
• Doing a non-medicated IUI only increases that chance from 1% to 2%. A negligible difference, and not worth it.
• Adding clomid bumps it to 14-15%.
• Doing a full medicated IUI bumps it to 25%.

As treatments are not covered by my insurance, it would be a waste of money to do a non-medicated IUI. Instead he suggested I put on an estrogen patch to increase my CM. He then asked how I felt about doing clomid for a few months. I had actually been thinking about this on my own. When we did clomid back when we were trying for #1, we had great results as far as follicle count. I would get anywhere from 3-8 follies a cycle. The difference between now and then is I no longer have endometriosis hampering ovulation and the ability of the eggs to make it to the tubes. So doing clomid now would give us 3-8 chances per month instead of 1. (Don't even think about telling me about our chances of multiples. [Things like that don't happen to us anyway.])

Dr. D also agreed to doing another laparoscopy early next year if we don't get pregnant this year.

Next he checked out things for this month. On CD19 I still had not ovulated. I also had no CM. So before leaving his office, I slapped on a patch. I went back in today, CD21, and found that I still have not ovulated. My response was, "Dr D this is not good!" We then talked about the possibility of getting pregnant with such an old egg. He said the latest he has seen someone ovulate and still get pregnant was CD24. He offered to trigger ovulation today, but I told him I didn't think it would work out this month anyway. Might as well save the $$$ and try again next month with a patch and clomid.

What I have realized this year is the doctor who removed my septum back in 2007 really screwed me over. His decision to cut, rather than shave, has cost me my fertility. Because of his choice, I had placental abruption with BB, which caused a rupture, which didn't heal correctly, which required more surgery, which removed a section of my uterus, which means I no longer create enough estrogen to not only mature my follicles quick enough, but I also no longer create enough CM.

All because of the decision to cut over shave.

The last three months have proven that I cannot get pregnant without medical intervention, and you know what? That sucks! It sucks a LOT. And it makes me so mad.

What is even harder is I have to draw a line somewhere. I have to decide when to say enough is enough and lay down the law with myself as to when I throw in the towel. And I know that has to be before doing injectables again, because let's face it, injetables WACK YOU OUT! There is no way I can do that to my husband again, and there is certainly no way on God's green earth I can do that to BB.

So the plan now is to do clomid with a patch Aug-Nov. Take December off, and do a laparoscopy early next year. Depending on what the surgery finds, we will go from there.

Clomid, open up your lovin' arms cause here I come.