The Infertility Scare Phenomenon

Since embarking on infertility treatments almost two years ago, I have come to notice what I like to call the infertility scare phenomenon. This is when you tell any other woman in the world that you are undergoing infertility treatments, and the woman you have told instantly begins to freak out internally and wonder if they can get pregnant, even if they already have childen. They go into a panic mode, and even if they didn't want children (or more children than they already have), they start trying to get pregnant ASAP, just to prove to themselves they can get pregnant. I am sure that all of you who have experienced infertility treatments know exactly what I'm talking about.

I can't count the number of times when I told a woman I was undergoing infertility treatments that I could see the panic set in within them that they might be in my shoes and should start baby dancing right away. I have known women who after talking to me seriously considered having their IUDs removed in an attempt to have one more baby (they usually already had a brood, and didn't want any more until they talked to me [no joke]). Its not so much that they really want a baby as much as it is they want to prove they aren't infertile. I have also known women who after talking to me tried to get pregnant for two or three months afterward and when they didn't get instantly pregnant actually scheduled appointments with infertility clinics, only to get pregnant shortly before the appointment time came (of course, I got phone calls when the appointment was scheduled, and again when it was cancelled due to pregnancy).

It is always amazing to me how telling my infertility story sets off alarms in other women's heads that makes them all of a sudden want to get pregnant. Women who didn't really want children before they talked to me suddenly realize they want babies and are scared that they could be the next one to have to sit in a waiting room full of pregnant women while they are there to get their next prescription for chlomid. You can just hear the thoughts going through their heads, "Oh please God, don't let that be me! I don't want to be in the same shoes as her!"

Have any of you other ladies experienced this? Do any of you have any stories like this?

I'm not bitter at all about the fact that I am in my shoes. I always choose to take experiences like this and use them to find the positive. Our infertility road has been rocky, and it has yet to be easy; however, I have learned a LOT about myself and my body, it has strengthened my marriage and showed me just how much my sweetie loves me. It has shown me where not only my priorities lie, but my husband's as well. It has taught me to be happy with the things I have in my life and to not waste time thinking about the things I don't have but want. I have come to terms with the fact that we might never have children, and have developed a life plan for if we can't. I have made a mental list of the pros and cons of having children, and I have to say I am okay with either way. That being said, I felt like I had to at least try to have children outside of the conventional means, since I knew we probably wouldn't stand a chance if we didn't seek treatment. If I could go back two years and change anything, I wouldn't. I have learned too much from this experience to want things any other way. When I get to moments in my life like the one I'm in right now with the move and new job, I am glad I'm not pregnant, or this opportunity would not be mine. I always feel that everything happens for a reason, and that it all happens in its own time. Its up to me to learn from my experiences and to be patient when the outcome isn't what I want in that exact moment. Sometimes not getting what I want right away is a blessing in disguise.

I honestly feel that one day we will be parents. I also feel that it will happen in its own time, and that I just need to be patient right now and live the life I'm living.